July 30 2015

July 30 2015 Greetings My Friend Making a change is about the hardest undertaking there is. Understanding that what you know is dysfunctional and moving to functional ways is hard too. I think I was willing to stay in the “known” than venturing into the “unknown”. I know for years I hated what my life was and at the same time I did not know how to reach out and begin that long winding walk into something new and different. Many years latter I saw those tiny first steps that led to the next and the next step until one day I found myself leaving my old life behind and entering into a brand new life. It was exhilarating and frightening at the same time. At this point I had no idea of how to not repeat what I had already lived for over 40 years and it was then it occurred to me to talk to God about this new struggle I was facing. People did not understand why I stayed why I tolerated what I tolerated and why I was the way I was. Neither did I frankly but God made me take a long hard look at what made me the way I was not for me to stay stuck in pain but to open new doors. The more I understood why I was the way I was I found myself not enjoying the “old me.” I wanted to have a friendship with a man that was more back and forth then the one I knew. I was in counseling and my counselor taught me to understand how men think, how they don’t understand innuendos and needed straight forward comments. Next I learned to negotiate the things I found important such as not in debt, he worked and had no need to hit a woman. As this became ingrained into my being I was attracting a healthy way to be in a relationship. Some of this started with friends, new friends and even learning how to deal with my own mother. I find that all the years I kept going in and out of counseling was the stepping stones for the new foundations I was lying. I learned to say “don’t, that hurts and I don’t feel good.” As with all first steps I find I did some great forward movement only to fall down, start over again and in time these new changes were part of the woman I am today. Part of my faith journey was starting to read my Bible. Until this point I did not think I was educated enough to absorb God’s Word. I was amazed the first year I read all the way through the Bible. In those first years I learned that one read through is not enough but day in and day out year in and year out was the way I was going to keep growing. I learned no one will ever be perfect here on earth but only when we get to heaven will we know that perfection. My old examples of older generations showed me how lonely it was to be old. God teaches me that does not have to be the case. He shows me that “yes” my body is changing but that doesn’t mean my work is over with yet He moves me into new and different directions and when I allow myself to be redirected I find a fulfillment in life. Right now I am recovering from congestion, fatigue and more imbalance issues. For a minute I want to stop and bemoan these events when I hear God whisper “go for it.” As I embrace all these new things I find a satisfaction in life. God is good. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you Love Janet

July 28 2015

Greetings My Friend As a parent it was hard when I tried to teach my child something and they did not listen. A while later someone else would tell them exactly what I was attempting to teach and they heard the other person not seeing that was what I had been teaching them. I see this same principal over and over in my faith journey, even as I read the Bible the people are told, warned and choose not to hear the message. It seems that an idea of what will happen or is happening takes shape and people don’t like the outcome so they attempt to gloss over the warning. For me I also hear Scripture say “As in the days of Noah people were eating, drinking marrying up to the day the floods came.” This is paraphrased but the idea is there. Today I sense we are being warned and soon something is going to happen. What? I don’t know but I sense it. I keep seeing natural disasters that I have never seen so much of and no let up of. Anger is bursting forth and rebellion abounds. I hear people are fed up and I also see times the Bible speaks of “ people will call good evil and evil good.” Are people listening? Do they not hear? Will the righteous suffer, I think so. I also think that they will learn to walk closer to God and see mighty things and find a strength beyond their understanding. Others may see or may not. All I can say is Do you have ears that hear? May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you Love Janet

July 25 2015

July 25 2015 Greetings My Friend Our niece and nephew were visiting this week and as we sat out on the porch visiting I was asked if we hang our clothes to dry. I told her that we are working our way to hanging them more than using the dryer. As I was saying this I sensed that one of lessons this summer is “ the process is the first step in making a habit.” I know this fact and I keep learning the different dimensions of this fact. In my heart I want to live more wholesomely. I want to eat wholesome food, bake, cook, clean and enjoy life at its simplest level. As I review my way to being healthy again I see this process clearly. It started with 5 minutes of work and went from there. Each summer for the past 4 summers I have hung out some things like blankets, sheets but mostly I used the dryer. This summer more of our laundry is finding its way to the clothesline. I suspect we will hang more and more clothes and build into it throughout the year. This summer I have enjoyed berries growing wild in our yard and have gone out picking them. I have not made it to each new berry that is in season but I have started roaming around picking some and enjoyed them on my cereal. I see that with time I will pick more and then make them into recipes for us to enjoy. Baking bread and sweet breads are on my bucket list. I thought that I would do these things automatically and that has not been the case. I do see though that I first think I want to then I do it piece by piece and slowly it becomes my standard, not all at once. With all the rain and humidity this past week I have been struggling with asthma big time. After pushing myself I finally caved in and slept and sat and used my mind. Today the humidity is down, no rain is forecasted and my lungs feel good. I will begin to work my way back to a level of doing again. I have learned to not rush the process and to lean into it. I wanted to be able to go back to the minute I felt better, today I know I need to go through the process and soon I will be able to be up and around. As I have learned to work slower and slower I find that breaking my work up into small manageable pieces allows me to keep at it until I get it done, even if it takes me 3 times longer than it did at one time in my life. In the learning to keep slowing down I have time to think, to pray and this is how I am growing even in my older years. Relearning to do old things in a new way keeps me flexible, keeps my brain active and I also learn to spend more and more time with God each day. My fur children know that I need to stop more and I find them on my lap quite often. I love feeling their soft little bodies, talking to them as if they know what I am saying and it feels good. I know they create havoc with my allergies so Junior and I are working out ways to lessen their impact on me by using air purifiers, sweeping more, moping more dusting more. I also know that the weather can be a struggle so I seek ways to cope there too. When the heat is too high I tend to hang out inside in the air conditioning more so. And then sometimes all the precautions won’t work too and I learn how to ride out the struggle. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 23 2-15

July 23 2015 Greetings My Friend And sometimes I need to stop for a longer period before attempting to go again so soon. We have gone on 3 vacations in as many months. Since returning from Michigan I have tried the usual lay low for a few days and then I have run hard again. We visited the VA and learned a few things Junior needed to know, the next day we ran to Kingsport to talk to a financial advisor. I sat for another day or so and then we did our usual Sunday routine, next we had visitors and frankly I am barely able to get myself motivated and naps keep falling on me. I felt I was doing the needed work to regroup and I am learning a set program does not mean it will work each time. It is just as important to listen to my body. I have been able to rest a bit and then start running again but now there is not get up and go left in me. At this point I am going to slow down even more so, move as I am able to and hopefully I will once again achieve what I was able to do. I also notice my right hand is shaking more so. I want to will into settling down and it is not listening to me. My handwriting is getting worse and I feel another loss. As I feel this loss my mind searches for ways to study my Bible, write my notes on the computer and to keep moving forward within my body’s limitations. I am a fighter and I am going to give this latest disappointment my best shot. Weighing heavily on my mind is Junior and my son and grandchildren. I sense Junior is getting tired from the heavy load of renovating and I am asking God to bring the help Junior needs. I also know that I need to be open to this help may not come in the neat package my mind has conjured up so I pray that I will accept the way help comes not what I want that help to be. I sense my son and I are growing closer through his struggle as a single father. Sometimes I am relating to him with my pink hearing aids and I have to switch over to the blue hearing aids so I am able to be what my son needs. At this point though we seem to keep talking until we are able to understand the role that is needed. With the latest set of struggles I was able to put him in touch with a Dad who has had to deal with things along the same lines he is dealing with now. With this help I feel that my son will be able to face this new round of struggles. It seems that more recently I am using my mind more and resting my body more so. My daily time of physical activity has been down a lot but my computer work, mind work has been more so and in all of this I am still feeling a sense of being productive, active and useful which means I am not giving into defeat. Right now I am grateful that I can use both my mind and body and I marvel at how God is always using me to my fullest. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 21 2015

July 21 2015 Greetings My Friend I love those sweet moments when life seems to absorb the new and it makes friends with the past. This week I have watched Alex and Blanko walk around on the floor and the dogs have ignored them because there was no hissing war. Alex has once again found his way to my lap and his familiar presence is soothing. Even better Alex and Mindy one of our dogs are both lying on and beside me at the same time. As I was eating breakfast outside I watched the hummingbirds fly back and forth. I have started seeing more than just 2 and this is exciting. I watch the birds and all of a sudden I realize that my neck keeps turning to follow one only to discover that is nearly impossible. Junior is getting closer to the end of the porch extension and I am enjoying watching him work through this project this morning as well. The floor of the porch is done and now he is finishing the roof portion. From what I can tell there is one more small section for this extension to be complete and he has given me an idea of the plan he is formulating for this part. If I understand him there will be a step down, a place for a fire pit on it. It will be high enough for him to park the riding lawn mower underneath and eventually somehow another carport will be added onto this. Then we will have both vehicles covered in the heat and in the snow also. I want this for him deep inside of me. The more I mull over all of these thoughts I find a peace and contentment flood through me. It is a knowing that life is good, well and God has/is teaching us to be content in all things. The world is going crazy still, Isis is still beheading Christians, crime is still going on everywhere but for right now life is peaceful. I can deal with all the issues some other time, for now though I soak up the beauty of the moments. I am understanding the importance of being still and quiet. Sometimes still is being alone with God. Sometimes it seems still is absorbing God’s creation and still other times it is when I discover the moment I am doing and being what God has created me to be. This morning it was being a wife to Junior. Later as I write it is being content with being a writer or talking with a friend. To me I see that God’s grand design is “just right” and as I learn to let God teach me I find a sweetness to His creation. This quiet reflection gives me strength to walk in faith again today. Lately this seems to be the only way I can keep on going is allowing myself to let go and let God each and every day and many times during the day. When I first came to my faith I believed that God wanted me to be busier than busy, to move and do and give and learn. Yes He does and no He does not. God wants me to grow but not in a frenzy of activity but in His quiet love. I see again the “journey” I am on and most journeys have busier times, quiet times and times to go and do. This is a hard lesson but it one I cherish learning and growing in, May God bless you o keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 18 2015

July 18 2015 Greetings My Friend Today my hands are real shaky. Tomorrow they may not shake so much. Today I am moving through the house with hardly a wobble and who knows what tomorrow will be. The straining headaches come and go too. Same with fatigue, today I can predict fatigue better due to how much activity I am involved in so I have learned to come to a complete halt, sleep it off and start over again. With my chronic illness I look great one day and the next not so good. It has taken me a few years to learn the warning signs, to be proactive the best I can. I don’t like what my body is doing but I am learning to keep trying and how to live with day to day fluctuations along with consistent decline in what I used to be able to do. July is Chiari Malformation month, this is a disease that little is known about and misunderstood greatly. I was only recently diagnosed with this and now I can look back and see where I have struggled a lifetime with this. As a young person I was extremely agile and all of a sudden I found myself tripping over thin air. I had other signs as well. Today I understand better. Not fully but better. The more I learn it helps me to accept and accommodate to things. At first it was a diagnosis which the doctor’s said I would not get worse. After joining a few help sites I am learning that this is a progressive problem, that brain surgery only halts for a time the problems and causes havoc with the neurological system. Some people may never be diagnosed due to lack of symptoms, some of us come to our diagnosis later in life so there is not a lot of information. As I move through this disease I find that my mind is consistent in looking for ways to do old things in a new way. It is keeping my mind active and I am discovering a more creative side to me. At first I was angry, depressed and slowly but surely I have accepted this disease. Finding life to be good and whole is a strange kind of wonderful. No I am not whole like I once was. No I can no longer do everyday things as I once did but I can learn new ways to do them, I learn to accept what is and I am learning to move on. First comes the acknowledgement, next acceptance and once I fully accept this new life I see growth and in some ways a deeper faith, a deeper resolve grows too. Along with the initial diagnosis I find that we also have sister related problems such as breathing (for me allergy induced asthma), digestive issues, mine is GERDS and with each new finding it means more introspection on how to deal with the obstacles. I also have dizziness and I am learning those trigger points so that I don’t fall as easily. It is a never ending self study of learning the problems and then how to cope. With all this self reflection my mind is staying active too although there are days that brain fog tries to take over too. With each struggle though I keep working and my will helps me to keep on going. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 16 2015

July 16 2015 Greetings My Friend That moment when you hope that the time is near to have cataract surgery. I know that I am not seeing as I would like to see. Still I sense I see fairly well at the same time that is until I get a day where everything is blurry or I try to read the smaller print and can’t. Even with a pair of readers I can’t and putting the readers over my glasses doesn’t seem to help. The last time I thought it was time I only needed stronger lenses. This year I have had my check up about a month ago and already I am struggling. I don’t have vision insurance so I was hoping I could get a year out of these lenses. It is what it is. Yesterday we transferred our funds to a manager down here with the same investment company. With this we are fully settled in SW VA and our only need for MI trips is to visit family and friends. With this last piece of our MI lives tied up I now feel fully part of the south and my other life is a memory now. I love that heading to Kingsport, to Norton or such all is a comfortable place to be here in the south. After 6 years of living down south I still enjoy the mountains and all the beauty within them. My morning quiet time of reflecting finds me checking the goings on outside of my window and today I see the same 2 hummingbirds I have seen all season. I see Junior dragging over another beam to finish off the extension of this porch knowing that soon this project will come to an end and we will have precious moments out on our porches. As I ponder the joy of the work of moving, learning a new way of life and how to live in retirement and a disabled body I find that challenges will still be part of life more than likely to my last days I will experience some sort of struggle to work out. Today I see that cataracts are the current struggle. To be honest I am not looking forward to someone working on my eyes even though I know many people who have gone through this. I never tried contact lenses because of this fear. I have been asking God to make me strong to face this fear for some time now. I know in my heart that after the fact I will be glad I did it and even as I wait for the moment for surgery to come I am not overly anxious about it. More than likely Junior will take me, be near and even this brings me comfort. My plan is to “turn and face” this fear not on my own but with God’s help. Life keeps teaching me that you can’t overcome until you “turn and face” the problem, look at it square in the face and name it. Once you do this it seems like the struggle may be hard but deep down the other side will be worth all the work. I love stepping beside people to help them through life’s journey’s. It has taken me years to understand that some people are content in staying where they are at rather than to step out of their comfort zone. I hear they would like to move on, they even desire it but in the end they choose to stay right where they are at, the work is not worth the effort to them. For a long time I found myself to be impatient with this way of thinking. Today I tend to see that I may have planted a seed, may be time for me to move on and let the seed germinate until someone else comes along to water that seed and maybe to help that seed to grow to maturity whether in the faith or in their day to day life. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 14 2015

July 14 2015 Greetings My Friend I miss our dog Bella the one we had turn into the shelter because of her wanting no one to love on us but her. It still hurts and yet today I see why we needed to do this. Mindy who is Bella’s mother now lays with me more throughout the day. Both Mindy and Daisy will share space alongside of me and a new twist is Alex my 19 year old cat will share time and space with the other two and on my lap. I keep learning that sometimes no matter how I try to “help, to love” sometimes it will never be enough and the most loving thing I can do is let go. Deep inside of “me” I feel if I try one more time, one new and different way that the object of my love will soften and accept the love I have for them. After the first few signs of aggression with Bella both Junior and I started showing her extra affection which worked for a very short time and then she started shoeing the other fur children away. We kept correcting her when she did this and soon even the correcting did not seem to satisfy her and we felt that she wanted to be an only child. We took her to the pound with a heavy heart. She is on our hearts but we say very little about her until today when I realized we did the best thing for her and for us. I have asked God that she be adopted by a family that can love her and only her. I trust God has done what is best. It seems that even though with God’s help I walked away from loving someone who did not allow me to love them that this is a struggle I still deal with. I sense this is also the same for Junior since we both seemed to keep trying until Bella hurt Daisy real bad. After that I found myself pushing Bella away from me each time she came near. Finally we decided it was time to end this relationship when Daisy was injured. We saw the signs, we tried to address the issue and still things did not change. The good part is we did not wait years to get out of this struggle or until she hurt a fur child so bad that they would die or be maimed for life. I believe that God is still teaching us how to listen to Him. In our hearts we were loving as we saw God love us. We are in the same struggle with a friend whom we’ve been loving with our hearts, our time, our possessions and even with our money. We seem to have come to the realization that God is not calling us to give and give and give with no return of growth. I also see that God will allow us to learn lessons as well. He does not allow us to stay in dysfunction and if we don’t hear Him the first time those lessons will come back to us until we get it. We both have grown through the years and are not mired in unhealthy relationships of the past. We are a team and we are learning and growing, even in this situation. We have come a long way and at the same time we still have lessons to learn. The faith journey continues if we allow it too and it was hard to say goodbye to Bella enough to our friend but we are learning to act sooner than later. I learn that God wants my best and the best of those we are in relationship with, even fur children. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 11 2015

July 11 2015 Greetings My Friend There usually comes a moment when you have to decide whether to keep trying and it is time to walk away. Our Friend has been in our lives for 6 years now and we love her to death but...isn’t there always a but? We are tired, we have gave with all we have, not necessarily just with money but with our time our hearts and our hands. Our goal was to walk beside her and help her learn to help herself. One day we realize that she hasn’t changed and still tells us what we want to hear and now it is time to pull way back. She is a hoarder and talks constantly about stopping this destructive lifestyle. We believed her and attempted to show her how. One day we see she is good at telling us what we want to hear and we ask ourselves “does she indeed want to change?” I love Junior because he is not afraid to confront her with the truth. If were me I would all of a sudden begin to not answer her calls, make excuses. He has told our friend that he has worked on helping her when there was much needed work he was not doing at home and we are pulling back until we see she is “walking the walk and talking the talk.” As Junior took her home this morning I could see that she was absorbing what he said and she knows without a doubt that we won’t be around much unless she changes and quits talking and starts doing. Her hoarding has continually entered our lives in our truck, our home and frankly we are tired of constantly telling her to stop and clean up her mess’. She had the truck while we were on vacation and it was so full of stuff that it was in the bed, in the cab and almost spilling into the drivers seat. He told her to clean out the truck, she removed 1 or 2 items and Junior spent a good amount of time finishing clearing out her stuff so we could buy groceries and pick up some items from Lowe’s etc. Our friend’s son has attempted to bring order to his mother’s house a few times and now he refuses to go into her home at all. We thought this alone would propel her into cleaning and it has not so we too are pulling back until we see her truly making progress. For me this is hard learning to love her and also not allow her habits to continue. I am an enabler and I get sidetracked by her reasons such as a mean mother and such. I do her no favor if I allow these reasons to continue to run her life and thus keep up such an unhealthy lifestyle. The thing is if I continue to enable her I will pull away and she won’t truly understand. As she left today I was upfront with her and as gentle as I could be giving her such a straightforward comment at the same time. In my life as I have learned to look at the wrongs done to me and then to let go let God I find that I am moving forward. Yes it has taken me years and it may be years for our friend but we all have to start somewhere and at this point she will either try or find contentment in the familiar, it truly is up to her. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 9 2015

July 9 2015 Greetings My Friend We are back from our trip to MI and today I am moving from deep fatigue back into my new normal for energy. I am glad to be back home and rejoining life again. The trip was worth the down time I experience each time we go away. Today I know that the extreme fatigue will pass and I don’t feel like I will never have energy again. I am comforted with the routines I have made in life and I am looking forward to them once more. The routines help me to find a rhythm to life which is important to me. I find my purpose in these routines and life for me has a direction. I was able to maintain my weight while we were gone which means I don’t have to work at getting my weight down again. I was able to enjoy the foods up North that I have grown comfortable eating and I don’t find down South anymore. I was able to not go overboard which means I enjoyed the food without overeating. I remember towards the end of the week I had a sense of our country was on the path to its demise and felt so sad. Part of the hopelessness I am sure was fatigue starting to set in. In my heart I also know that God will eventually call us as a country to account for all the decisions we have made without Him leading us. It makes me sad but it is also the price we pay when we don’t listen to God. Right now my struggle is as a Christian I don’t feel I am heard. I believe there are things we should not do and our country chooses to disobey God’s truth and make a new truth. I believe God loves all of us with all my heart. I strive to love as God loves me too. To love as God loves me means that sometimes we have to say “no”. Saying “no” does not mean we have to hurt, maim or destroy a person’s worth or body. It means I can disagree though and frankly I disagree with several of today’s accepted practices. I believe that abortions hurt women way more than the convenience of ending a pregnancy. I know of women who grieve decades after the abortion a deep grieving. Through the years I have also learned that abortions also are hard on a woman’s body for instance the woman is at a higher risk for breast cancer. Then there are the botched abortions which harm women and I struggle when I hear that a baby is born alive and killed anyway. I also struggle with assisted suicide as well. To me it is best to let God bring to life and to take life away. I also believe some people struggle with their sexual identity or the sexual preferences. I believe they can be overwhelmed with their desires. I don’t believe these people are going to hell any faster than a heterosexual is. I believe I need to love the person not the sin. I also believe once a person gives their life to Jesus that over time the struggle with anything in life begins to go away. For me it was not allowing myself to be abused by others. It has been a journey and today I am able to relate without being violated or violent. I also believe love covers a multitude of sins and my goal is to reach out as the Bible and God teaches me to love. I also believe God says what He means and means what He says and at some point we will be held accountable. I am sad that I am seen as unloving, uncaring Christian but I still want to follow God’s way. It makes the most sense to me. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 7 2015

July 7 2015 Greetings My Friend One of the TV shows I watch is Dr. Phil. I see my life story played out and as I see it I understand more of how I became the person I am. I relive the old hurts but I understand and somehow it helps me to move on. Sometimes I want to say “yes but” when he is chastising a parent for allowing abuse to go on and at that point I want to do my “yes but”. For me anyway I did not understand all the dynamics of how an abuser will repeat their behavior if they are not stopped. I felt that my abuser would not do it again so I trusted when I should not have trusted. I also wanted the love I craved so I was willing to overlook much. Even though I was grown the little girl who was abused wanted to keep working at it until she got it right. Counseling, a faith journey and I understand so much more now. As a young person I was too overwhelmed attempting to read the Bible. I was able to read the words but not understand the Holy Spirit’s guidance in my life. When I married Junior and was starting my faith journeys in earnest he taught me to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide me. It works for me now and I am understanding so much more the right and wrong of life. Yesterday’s show was hitting a tender spot as I watched it. Two young girls were molested and raped by their grandfather and to them Grandma turned a blind eye to what was happening. I felt that struggle too. The girls longed for an “I am sorry” from Grandma and Grandma insisted she knew nothing and accused them of making it all up. I have wanted an apology from my abuser for years and never received it. My faith journey has helped me heal. Junior taught me to pray for my abuser and I did. Today I don’t hate and I don’t live in the state of fear all the time. Sometimes I am even able to look into their past and understand. At the end of the show Dr. Phil put up a list of signs for others to look for in someone who is or was abused. The one that spoke to me was that the victim thinks their only attraction to others is in their physical looks. My Dad always commented to me that my sister would look so much better with some weight taken off of her. At dinner he often told Mom she was eating too much. I was an active child and food was not important to me so I was thin and I remember asking myself “What about me, I am thin?” He never even told me I was pretty. I grow up and marry a man that is so concerned with my looks that I truly think that’s all that matters is how thin I am. I went through anorexia and was consumed with the need to exercise in order to stay thin Menopause, cancer was the first time I put weight on in my life. It was distressing. By this time I was married to Junior who loved me heavy and thin. I am back down to a better weight these days which means I feel better as well as look better. My goal now is to be a healthy weight, today I am 20 pounds heavier than when I gave birth to my children. I am okay with this finally and have stopped the internal discussions. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 4 2015

July 4 2015 Greetings My Friend I go back to the Old Testament as I think about celebrating. God taught Moses and Moses taught the people to celebrate at certain times in the year. Along with the celebration were feasting and remembering. Today is the 4th of July, a day to celebrate. For a long time we as a people have remembered to celebrate but we seem to forget to remember. I am as guilty of this as anyone. When I worked I was thankful for an extra day off to slow down and regroup and to be with friends and family. Not all bad but in the celebrating I/we have taken the focus of the reason for the celebration whether it is to remember our military and their sacrifice for us or even at Christmas and Easter for Jesus’ gift for us. For me when I begin to look at the reason for the holiday deeper I find myself appreciating the life I have and the freedom that has been given to me. I get to see Junior’s sacrifice with each holiday to remember our military. It never occurred to me as a young person what our military men and women dealt with in a war. I saw the movies and such but did not register until many years later that a war lives in the military person’s heart and mind forever. As a nation when our Vets came home from Vietnam we were ready to move on, to belittle the military and we created even deeper scars for those who cared enough to give so that we may disagree. Today as each remembrance holiday comes I find myself taking time out to be thankful, to find a way to acknowledge the Vet and at the same time thank God for these people. Our trip to Nashville for the Marine Corps reunion moved me this year as I have not been moved in a long while. Our group is aging and the military wounds to their bodies are showing more so with bad backs and such. Each one entered into each day with thanksgiving and care and concern for each other and their families. I also sense their desire to be as supportive of today’s military people because they don’t want another generation to go through what they did. I also think that the Viet Nam vets were instrumental in getting the help they needed and not letting our government and its people to ignore the pain of war. Junior did the strange things associated with PTSD when he came home. His ex wife dealt with his nightmares and him waking up with her pinned to the wall by his nightmare. As the government took a look into what the Vets were complaining about studies were done and found out the long term effects of war. Junior lost a foot in VietNam. Years later he found out that the government knew that he would have disintegrating back problems and his good leg would develop problems mainly in the knee and hip problems. Today I see prosthetics are made differently. For Junior the prosthetic companies expected him to put his damaged limb in a wool sock with no other protection and each time he got a new leg he had to break in his stump all over again which meant sores, bleeding and 6 months of extreme pain. He got a new leg every 2 years because they weren’t made to last much longer than that. My desire today is to take time to remember all the aspects of this holiday and to thank God first and then any military people I can. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 2 2015

July 2 2015 Greetings My Friend I think I entered into a female ritual yesterday at the beauty salon. I have made my appointments for years when it was quiet like first thing in the morning on my way to work and lately right after lunch. My appointment was at this time yesterday but it was a busy place and I saw the interactions of the women, the stylists in a new light. I soon realized upon arriving that the lady doing my hair was right out of beauty school. The lady I had the last time had left so I was starting over again. I seem to have a heart for young people who are entering into adulthood. The lady doing my hair was 2nd guessing herself big time. The owner was taking the young lady under her wings and teaching her some more tricks of the trade. Alongside of my stylist was another new woman right out of beauty school so the owner had her hands full. I was amazed at the owner’s patience in explaining and teaching the ladies. My stylist was insecure about what she was doing and did not want to do it wrong with me. I kept telling her my hair would grow back but that did not seem to calm her. I thought I would get a decent cut and highlight maybe not the best. The owner also was teaching me things. She wanted to know if I wanted a halo and I had no idea what this was about. She explained it and then we talked some more and I found out that if I did low lights along with the halo I would not be over blond down the road. The more we talked I was able to do red low lights which was minimal and added another dimension to my hair. I loved the blond highlights the red low lights and my natural dishwater blond/brown. Next came the cut and I was asked more questions that I had no clue to. Like how much off the back and such. It was so weird to me to participate more fully than say “I want blonde highlights but not real blond and I’d like to grow my hair a bit more and I’d like so many inches off of the back.” The three of us talked it all out and my stylist finished up giving me one of the best highlight, low light haircuts I have ever had. She finished up with a great styling job. I have already made my next appointment. Another older lady was getting her hair colored and cut yesterday at the same time that I was. From her I was learning that some women like to enter into the conversations with all that are at the hairdresser. I like to talk so it wasn’t hard to do. A few times she mentioned how much she liked how my hair was turning out. I said thank you and puzzled about this. When she had finished up I got to see her in her final do and I complimented her. She beamed and at this point I realized that she needed to thought pretty. I am understanding this need to be pretty these days and I was glad that I was able to compliment her. I also thought her hair was done extremely well. A friend recommended the salon across the street and I went into this one by mistake. It was a great mistake and I am thankful. Sometimes I think that God intervenes and puts us where we need to be with these little turn of events. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet