July 9 2015

July 9 2015 Greetings My Friend We are back from our trip to MI and today I am moving from deep fatigue back into my new normal for energy. I am glad to be back home and rejoining life again. The trip was worth the down time I experience each time we go away. Today I know that the extreme fatigue will pass and I don’t feel like I will never have energy again. I am comforted with the routines I have made in life and I am looking forward to them once more. The routines help me to find a rhythm to life which is important to me. I find my purpose in these routines and life for me has a direction. I was able to maintain my weight while we were gone which means I don’t have to work at getting my weight down again. I was able to enjoy the foods up North that I have grown comfortable eating and I don’t find down South anymore. I was able to not go overboard which means I enjoyed the food without overeating. I remember towards the end of the week I had a sense of our country was on the path to its demise and felt so sad. Part of the hopelessness I am sure was fatigue starting to set in. In my heart I also know that God will eventually call us as a country to account for all the decisions we have made without Him leading us. It makes me sad but it is also the price we pay when we don’t listen to God. Right now my struggle is as a Christian I don’t feel I am heard. I believe there are things we should not do and our country chooses to disobey God’s truth and make a new truth. I believe God loves all of us with all my heart. I strive to love as God loves me too. To love as God loves me means that sometimes we have to say “no”. Saying “no” does not mean we have to hurt, maim or destroy a person’s worth or body. It means I can disagree though and frankly I disagree with several of today’s accepted practices. I believe that abortions hurt women way more than the convenience of ending a pregnancy. I know of women who grieve decades after the abortion a deep grieving. Through the years I have also learned that abortions also are hard on a woman’s body for instance the woman is at a higher risk for breast cancer. Then there are the botched abortions which harm women and I struggle when I hear that a baby is born alive and killed anyway. I also struggle with assisted suicide as well. To me it is best to let God bring to life and to take life away. I also believe some people struggle with their sexual identity or the sexual preferences. I believe they can be overwhelmed with their desires. I don’t believe these people are going to hell any faster than a heterosexual is. I believe I need to love the person not the sin. I also believe once a person gives their life to Jesus that over time the struggle with anything in life begins to go away. For me it was not allowing myself to be abused by others. It has been a journey and today I am able to relate without being violated or violent. I also believe love covers a multitude of sins and my goal is to reach out as the Bible and God teaches me to love. I also believe God says what He means and means what He says and at some point we will be held accountable. I am sad that I am seen as unloving, uncaring Christian but I still want to follow God’s way. It makes the most sense to me. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet