Greetings My Friend,
In the midst of grieving after my divorce I found myself pondering my death, I was not thinking of suicide but rather about my burial. At the end of my life I had always felt that I would be buried near my husband maybe near his or my parents. Since we were not Catholic's more likely near my parent's. In my mind I felt that being buried near family would give my life a definition for future generations in the aspect of family burials as they looked at the years of each of the family member's much like I do when I visit cemeteries, especially very old ones. Years later I wonder why that mattered but at the time it was very important to me and I felt even more alone. As I am ending the book of Revelations I find a hope for the believer, a hope that resounds deep in my soul much like the depth of my feeling lost if I died and was buried alone somewhere only I have a sense of excitement instead of deep sadness. Through out the Bible I have read statements that God often said to the effect of " They will be my people and I will be their God." While reading those statements I felt a sadness in the tone of the words, a loss by God and a longing for us to come to Him fully with our hearts. Through the years I started longing to be close to God, I want to make Him happy with me, I also long to introduce Jesus to as many people as I am able to. My faith journey has and still is teaching me the many ways for us to share the Good News of the Gospel, I used to be afraid to tell the Good News, mainly when I was more of a cultural Christian trying to be PC. When I began my faith journey in earnest I felt if I said "Jesus" in as many situations as I could I was giving the "Good News". God continued to grow my faith, our church in Michigan taught us ways to "witness" to testify or to tell our story of how Jesus has affected our lives. I was encouraged to write out my testimony which at that point was about being divorced and finding new life again, I usually told about how God is a God of 2nd, 3rd etc. chances. Then I had cancer, a huge painful part of my life has been how my children are not in my life like I long for them to be with my daughter walking away altogether and my son shows up here and there and at this point I believe we have worked out the pain of dysfunctional living. One day my good friend Marilyn mentioned that I saw myself as a mother when it came to me I needed to re-identify who I thought I was. That helped and I still loved being a mother and grandmother, I have reshaped who I see myself as these days, I am Junior's wife a role I love, we have fur children whom we treat more like grandchildren and I am grateful God nudged us to move to Virginia, had a little shih tzu bark at our door and let her in. She was pregnant gave birth to 6 puppies, one died, two were given away and we started growing our family of rescues. We have found a community of believers to worship with, made some close friends. Throughout this process I had continued to be fatigued and struggled with other minor health issues and finally was diagnosed with Parkinson's. In each phase of my life since my divorce God has helped me cope, I had opportunities to serve Him and life is good even though I am a broken woman. The journey of life has been worth it because God takes me by the hand and enters into each situation with me not taking it away from me and I feel a sense of accomplishment in over coming. I also find that I can relate to other people in many ways such as abuse, cancer, children not wanting to be in my life, broken relationships, being married to a man who is not exactly like me and on and on. At the end of life we want to hear "Well done good and faithful servant." In Revelation at the end my heart filled with joy as I read "And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads." I felt I will be marked by God then and now. I could feel the Holy Spirit quote back to me the text, " Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life and may enter in through the gates into the city." And I felt "peace that passes all understanding," my life is not what is here in this age but about the age to come. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Saturday, October 28, 2017
October 28, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
My heart desires to balance my prayers with my own needs and ask for others needs, I am not sure I do this all the time. As we renovate our home, a home that had no heat, or good electricity even the plumbing was in need of shoring up I found myself more interested in HGTV pretty. At first I thought having a huge walk in closet, two sinks in the bathroom type of thing to be important. As time went on, we lived in the house and retirement started to take shape for me I realized that those things were not so important, my desire was to be comfortable, have a small closet so I did not fill it just to have a lot of clothes and why in the world did we need two sinks in the bathroom! We rarely are in the bathroom getting ready at the same time, never have been that type of couple. My focus changed to look at our needs since disability is part of our lifestyle. Junior fusses at me because I want the house to be comfortable in case we have company which is not a common occurrence for us. Still I would like it to be comfortable for the rare time someone stops in. Slowly our/my focus went from having a flashy home to a functional home and in God's divine ways He has been teaching me to open my heart to serve others in a quieter way than I have in the past. Right now I am trying to balance my prayer requests for my health, to live a quality of life that allows me to give to Junior, to be open to loving others with my prayers, my words and even to touch them in person when possible. In a moment of silliness I thought about bringing a smile to others during my day and wrote that as a status update on Facebook. I was surprised that those words did bring a smile to others as I received responses back to that status update. My desire of late is to ask God to put me, my day even my life to His glorious use. I used to think being of use meant working as an adviser to teens, going on mission trips, setting up speakers for the remarried workshop etc. Those were good ways to serve, today though I seek the quieter ways to serve, give a much needed hug to someone, be a bit silly to cheer someone up, sit with Junior in the ER when his shoulder was hurting him immensely. I love sharing the giggles I see on Facebook in the hopes they bring a smile to others and passing along Scripture passages I find inspiration to walk with God again that day. As I ponder this I ask God am I more God centered than I am self centered? I recall prayers during the week asking for guidance on how to cope with Parkinson's Disease, how to eat healthier, to show me how to exercise for my disease. My desire is to live a good quality of life, my Mom's death still comes to mind 18 years later, she could hardly walk from one chair to the next in the front room due to her excessive smoking, it bothered me. Is my sole reason for being healthy due to fear? After I ask that question, I look back on my life, I have ate rather healthy for the most part, better in these last few years. I have walked for exercise most of my life along with other forms of exercises here and there. God shows me keeping my body in shape not for my looks but for my body's best performance has been my goal. In my older years I find I want to do as much as I am able to for God's glory and He is teaching me where to be of use for Him and with the ability I have which also includes my physical health. As I end this my prayer is one I have been praying for awhile, "put me this day, my entire life to Your glorious use. I love You, Lord" May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
My heart desires to balance my prayers with my own needs and ask for others needs, I am not sure I do this all the time. As we renovate our home, a home that had no heat, or good electricity even the plumbing was in need of shoring up I found myself more interested in HGTV pretty. At first I thought having a huge walk in closet, two sinks in the bathroom type of thing to be important. As time went on, we lived in the house and retirement started to take shape for me I realized that those things were not so important, my desire was to be comfortable, have a small closet so I did not fill it just to have a lot of clothes and why in the world did we need two sinks in the bathroom! We rarely are in the bathroom getting ready at the same time, never have been that type of couple. My focus changed to look at our needs since disability is part of our lifestyle. Junior fusses at me because I want the house to be comfortable in case we have company which is not a common occurrence for us. Still I would like it to be comfortable for the rare time someone stops in. Slowly our/my focus went from having a flashy home to a functional home and in God's divine ways He has been teaching me to open my heart to serve others in a quieter way than I have in the past. Right now I am trying to balance my prayer requests for my health, to live a quality of life that allows me to give to Junior, to be open to loving others with my prayers, my words and even to touch them in person when possible. In a moment of silliness I thought about bringing a smile to others during my day and wrote that as a status update on Facebook. I was surprised that those words did bring a smile to others as I received responses back to that status update. My desire of late is to ask God to put me, my day even my life to His glorious use. I used to think being of use meant working as an adviser to teens, going on mission trips, setting up speakers for the remarried workshop etc. Those were good ways to serve, today though I seek the quieter ways to serve, give a much needed hug to someone, be a bit silly to cheer someone up, sit with Junior in the ER when his shoulder was hurting him immensely. I love sharing the giggles I see on Facebook in the hopes they bring a smile to others and passing along Scripture passages I find inspiration to walk with God again that day. As I ponder this I ask God am I more God centered than I am self centered? I recall prayers during the week asking for guidance on how to cope with Parkinson's Disease, how to eat healthier, to show me how to exercise for my disease. My desire is to live a good quality of life, my Mom's death still comes to mind 18 years later, she could hardly walk from one chair to the next in the front room due to her excessive smoking, it bothered me. Is my sole reason for being healthy due to fear? After I ask that question, I look back on my life, I have ate rather healthy for the most part, better in these last few years. I have walked for exercise most of my life along with other forms of exercises here and there. God shows me keeping my body in shape not for my looks but for my body's best performance has been my goal. In my older years I find I want to do as much as I am able to for God's glory and He is teaching me where to be of use for Him and with the ability I have which also includes my physical health. As I end this my prayer is one I have been praying for awhile, "put me this day, my entire life to Your glorious use. I love You, Lord" May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Thursday, October 26, 2017
October 26, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
Recently I was pondering how Junior and I are a team and the older we get we are more than a team, at this point we are able to operate as a whole because what I can't do he can and vice versa. As I pondered this I found myself in prayer thanking God about how Junior and I are able to make each other whole due to the way we are able to help each other. As I was thanking God a verse out of Ecclesiastes 4:12 came to me, I believe that God placed that thought in my mind. "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; a threefold cord is not quickly broken." I have learned through the years the ideal order in a marriage is God first, the marriage 2nd and life will flow from there. Junior and I invited God into our marriage on our honeymoon, we started praying as a couple. I learned how to pray not using flowery words like I heard at church but from my heart. Since Junior and I are in a second marriage due to divorce we know the brokenness that divorce is. We committed to each other from the start that there was no out other than death and then we began praying to stay together and grow with God at the center of our marriage. For me I generally ask God to teach me to be the wife that Junior needs, not what I feel a wife is but search for Junior's needs. The only way I can do this is by opening my heart to God and allowing Him to change my thinking then start seeking Junior's highest good. God has been faithful teaching me that if Junior wants to go to the ER room alone, it is not a reflection on me to stay out. For 19 years whenever Junior needed care he took care of his problem on his own. When Junior cut his thumb a couple a years ago on the way to the hospital I called my sister and asked if her and her husband if they could pick me up and stay at their place until Junior was done at the hospital. Of course I was concerned but....Junior had to deal with all his emotions on his own before he was willing for me to enter into his pain. At home I changed his bandages, and supported him as he needed. He went to wound care on his own, once in awhile I went along and waited in the waiting room if we had other errands. When he needed his hernia surgery, I went in to kiss him as he was taken in for surgery. Afterwards I sat with him, at one point he said it was nice having me with him. 19 years when he was comfortable. God then reminded me about two becoming one which is where my thoughts had started. God showed me that we became one through the years of living and asking God to guide us as a couple. When we are young it seems "sweet" but....I remember questioning where did "I" come into the equation. In my first marriage I never ever felt one with my husband, my girlfriends were closer to me than he was. I had not seen a situation where a man and a woman were content with each other. I thought it was a fantasy to be honest. Today though I understand that it is possible for a husband and wife to be best friends. If I would have loved Junior the way I loved in my first marriage, I would have fussed all over him, cried when he cursed me out for bothering him. God taught me though to pull back, to let Junior relax more in the relationship and then one day he was good with me sitting quietly beside him in the ER. Learning to quiet my heart, listening to God's voice and loving Junior the way he needed to be loved has opened the door to "a threefold cord is not quickly broken." May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Recently I was pondering how Junior and I are a team and the older we get we are more than a team, at this point we are able to operate as a whole because what I can't do he can and vice versa. As I pondered this I found myself in prayer thanking God about how Junior and I are able to make each other whole due to the way we are able to help each other. As I was thanking God a verse out of Ecclesiastes 4:12 came to me, I believe that God placed that thought in my mind. "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; a threefold cord is not quickly broken." I have learned through the years the ideal order in a marriage is God first, the marriage 2nd and life will flow from there. Junior and I invited God into our marriage on our honeymoon, we started praying as a couple. I learned how to pray not using flowery words like I heard at church but from my heart. Since Junior and I are in a second marriage due to divorce we know the brokenness that divorce is. We committed to each other from the start that there was no out other than death and then we began praying to stay together and grow with God at the center of our marriage. For me I generally ask God to teach me to be the wife that Junior needs, not what I feel a wife is but search for Junior's needs. The only way I can do this is by opening my heart to God and allowing Him to change my thinking then start seeking Junior's highest good. God has been faithful teaching me that if Junior wants to go to the ER room alone, it is not a reflection on me to stay out. For 19 years whenever Junior needed care he took care of his problem on his own. When Junior cut his thumb a couple a years ago on the way to the hospital I called my sister and asked if her and her husband if they could pick me up and stay at their place until Junior was done at the hospital. Of course I was concerned but....Junior had to deal with all his emotions on his own before he was willing for me to enter into his pain. At home I changed his bandages, and supported him as he needed. He went to wound care on his own, once in awhile I went along and waited in the waiting room if we had other errands. When he needed his hernia surgery, I went in to kiss him as he was taken in for surgery. Afterwards I sat with him, at one point he said it was nice having me with him. 19 years when he was comfortable. God then reminded me about two becoming one which is where my thoughts had started. God showed me that we became one through the years of living and asking God to guide us as a couple. When we are young it seems "sweet" but....I remember questioning where did "I" come into the equation. In my first marriage I never ever felt one with my husband, my girlfriends were closer to me than he was. I had not seen a situation where a man and a woman were content with each other. I thought it was a fantasy to be honest. Today though I understand that it is possible for a husband and wife to be best friends. If I would have loved Junior the way I loved in my first marriage, I would have fussed all over him, cried when he cursed me out for bothering him. God taught me though to pull back, to let Junior relax more in the relationship and then one day he was good with me sitting quietly beside him in the ER. Learning to quiet my heart, listening to God's voice and loving Junior the way he needed to be loved has opened the door to "a threefold cord is not quickly broken." May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
October 24, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
My read through the Bible study guide this year has me reading Ezekiel and Revelation together, which I find very interesting. Pastor Joe recommended that we get the Ryrie study Bible and since he preaches out of the KJV Bible I am reading this version for the 1st time. I have changed different Bible versions through the years starting with NIV, the Chronological Bible and the ESV. These different versions and now this particular study Bible has helped me grow in the Word a whole lot. I believe the Holy Spirit is the one teaching me the most though. Anyway, I often hear God say "They will be my people and I will be their God," each time I read these passages I sense God's longing for us to open our hearts to Him and to trust Him to lead our lives. As a mother, I have felt this longing when my children and grandchildren seem to decide they don't want my influence in their lives. It hurts. As a mother of fur children it is comforting when I come home from a few hours of shopping, running errands or whatever and the fur babies are excited beyond words. Our boxer generally hangs outside a lot so when we pull up she literally prances, jumps and bounces all over the place until we open the door of the truck. She is so excited to see us and we find it hard to not notice how much she loves us. Little Daisy the toy poodle we have comes running out of the doggy door to greet me and so it goes with each of our babies. I think at times this is what God is seeking from us, to want to draw close to Him to enjoy His presence, His love for us. So when I read in Ezekiel "Thus will I magnify myself; and I will be known in the eyes of many nations, and they shall know that I am the LORD." The day will come when "every knee will bow at the name of Jesus," because we will be invited to the marriage supper which I believe means we that have accepted Jesus will begin eternity with this feast. "And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God." Along with reading the Bible I have been writing a journal of my thoughts, one of the questions I ask myself is "What does the Holy Spirit say?" In so doing I need to stop and listen to my internal voice and more often than not I find words coming to me that I write down. On this day I was being told again to stop worrying about what others think about me, my focus needs to be about pleasing God. This is a struggle for me because I always like being easy going and pleasing to others. I am getting better at pleasing God, even if others around me are put off with my "set apart" ways. The more I learn to live as God teaches me to live, the more I feel loved, wanted and accepted. Doing the will of God becomes 2nd nature for me and I find that I care deeper without regard to having a need met. I can give that piece of hard advice to someone out of sincere love for their well being. I am letting go of my enabling another person to stay in their dysfunction just so I feel needed and wanted. I don't beg to be loved like I once did because I know that I am loved and wanted and useful. I also know when I sin that if I am willing to take a hard look at that sin and ask God to forgive me, He will. I have to admit that I have sinned though, kind of like admitting that there is an elephant in the room. Growing up we had all kinds of hidden secretes that were not to be told. My problem was I never figured out what was a secrete so I wound up telling everything and making my parents very angry. My family did not like admitting the faults we had. Walking with Jesus teaches me to keep on top of my secrete sins and then He helps me let them go. As I walk more in faith I long for the day when all things will come to an end and eternity will come, the marriage supper of the Lamb (Jesus). My heart also wants to invite as many as I am able to join in at the table as well. The journey to this day is difficult but if I stay the course then one day I will be there. With the Holy Spirit's guidance, I know that I will make it. May God bless you and make His face shine on you. Love Janet
My read through the Bible study guide this year has me reading Ezekiel and Revelation together, which I find very interesting. Pastor Joe recommended that we get the Ryrie study Bible and since he preaches out of the KJV Bible I am reading this version for the 1st time. I have changed different Bible versions through the years starting with NIV, the Chronological Bible and the ESV. These different versions and now this particular study Bible has helped me grow in the Word a whole lot. I believe the Holy Spirit is the one teaching me the most though. Anyway, I often hear God say "They will be my people and I will be their God," each time I read these passages I sense God's longing for us to open our hearts to Him and to trust Him to lead our lives. As a mother, I have felt this longing when my children and grandchildren seem to decide they don't want my influence in their lives. It hurts. As a mother of fur children it is comforting when I come home from a few hours of shopping, running errands or whatever and the fur babies are excited beyond words. Our boxer generally hangs outside a lot so when we pull up she literally prances, jumps and bounces all over the place until we open the door of the truck. She is so excited to see us and we find it hard to not notice how much she loves us. Little Daisy the toy poodle we have comes running out of the doggy door to greet me and so it goes with each of our babies. I think at times this is what God is seeking from us, to want to draw close to Him to enjoy His presence, His love for us. So when I read in Ezekiel "Thus will I magnify myself; and I will be known in the eyes of many nations, and they shall know that I am the LORD." The day will come when "every knee will bow at the name of Jesus," because we will be invited to the marriage supper which I believe means we that have accepted Jesus will begin eternity with this feast. "And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God." Along with reading the Bible I have been writing a journal of my thoughts, one of the questions I ask myself is "What does the Holy Spirit say?" In so doing I need to stop and listen to my internal voice and more often than not I find words coming to me that I write down. On this day I was being told again to stop worrying about what others think about me, my focus needs to be about pleasing God. This is a struggle for me because I always like being easy going and pleasing to others. I am getting better at pleasing God, even if others around me are put off with my "set apart" ways. The more I learn to live as God teaches me to live, the more I feel loved, wanted and accepted. Doing the will of God becomes 2nd nature for me and I find that I care deeper without regard to having a need met. I can give that piece of hard advice to someone out of sincere love for their well being. I am letting go of my enabling another person to stay in their dysfunction just so I feel needed and wanted. I don't beg to be loved like I once did because I know that I am loved and wanted and useful. I also know when I sin that if I am willing to take a hard look at that sin and ask God to forgive me, He will. I have to admit that I have sinned though, kind of like admitting that there is an elephant in the room. Growing up we had all kinds of hidden secretes that were not to be told. My problem was I never figured out what was a secrete so I wound up telling everything and making my parents very angry. My family did not like admitting the faults we had. Walking with Jesus teaches me to keep on top of my secrete sins and then He helps me let them go. As I walk more in faith I long for the day when all things will come to an end and eternity will come, the marriage supper of the Lamb (Jesus). My heart also wants to invite as many as I am able to join in at the table as well. The journey to this day is difficult but if I stay the course then one day I will be there. With the Holy Spirit's guidance, I know that I will make it. May God bless you and make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Saturday, October 21, 2017
October 21 2017
Greetings My Friend,
I have finally had enough of the chocking, struggling to get food to go down and struggling to swallow or bring up the food. I went to the specialist who will do the procedure to stretch my esophagus and it is going to be on November 7th. Basically the surgeon will insert a tube down my throat and afterwards food won't be the problem it is now going down my esophagus. I have never heard of this problem until I moved to Virginia, more than likely because I was not having the problem until I moved out here. Since then I have discovered that several chronic illnesses seem to have a chocking problem. I have been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease for a year now. That wondering what is wrong with me feeling has gone and my goal now is to live life to the fullest of my ability. I also know better how to handle my day allowing times to nap, worked out some exercise routines, some of which is doing housework.When we first moved into this house 7 years ago my goal was to build up my energy with walking down our country lane. It is beautiful as I walk I see horses, the beautiful mountains and revel in the quiet of the country lifestyle. Since my first attempts to make it to the end of the street and back I have learned I no longer have that ability or the stamina to do it. My exercise is to walk in the yard of about an acre or just under an acre. My walker has taken a beating as I wander around the yard although I have the challenge helps me to quiet the tremors, gives me a bit of energy and helps keep my weight under control. In the spring I started picking raspberries, followed by blackberries, grapes, chestnuts, pawpaw's and walnuts. Now that the harvest season is ending my goal is to find kindling so we can start fires in the wood stove with. Daisy and I wander around the yard, me with the grab stick so I don't have to bend over as much. Not only am I getting exercise, Daisy too likes to get out of the walker and roam around the yard. Val and Brendy each take turns following me around, Val does the back yard and Brendy does the front and side yard. Lovey and Maxine our newest kittens also follow me around the yard. Some days I enjoy taking pictures while others I absorb the beauty that surrounds me. The other Sunday at church I found myself tripping over the wheel of the walker. I had over done it on Saturday, after dinner i made an oatmeal cake for the potluck at church. I was exhausted when I finished baking the cake, I also did up the dishes when I finished. I believe my tripping was due to doing to much, I also believe if I had not been using the walker I would have fallen and hurt myself. I chose early on to use aids since I also have brittle bones which have a tendency to break rather easily. I pray I won't break a bone although the odds are I will one day so I choose to use aids to help me walk. Many PD patients don't want to give up too soon and use aids. The problem I see is they start falling more. Exercise is quieting down the tremors, for me my legs tend to shake much more than my hands. Doing hand exercises helps my handwriting to be easier to read, the other exercises keep my body stronger and shaking less. I also have learned I need to nap each afternoon. When we are running all day, I have learned to sleep in the truck either while we are driving or while Junior runs into Lowe's or other man stores. At first I tried to drink a cup of coffee to give me the energy while we were gone, I have learned that coffee messes my sleep up so now I plan on taking a nap instead. I have sensed God leading me into these changes that are helping me to stay engaged in day to day life and I am grateful. I still can't volunteer but I am able to socialize with my church family, going to get my hair cut and with a few close friends. I continue to look to my online group to socialize with as well, we pray for each other, we care about each other and we share the love of Jesus in common along with many of us have various disabilities. We learn that we are not alone in our disabilities. Behind all of this is God directing my day to day life, exercise routines and even teaching me to reach out to Junior, to others. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
I have finally had enough of the chocking, struggling to get food to go down and struggling to swallow or bring up the food. I went to the specialist who will do the procedure to stretch my esophagus and it is going to be on November 7th. Basically the surgeon will insert a tube down my throat and afterwards food won't be the problem it is now going down my esophagus. I have never heard of this problem until I moved to Virginia, more than likely because I was not having the problem until I moved out here. Since then I have discovered that several chronic illnesses seem to have a chocking problem. I have been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease for a year now. That wondering what is wrong with me feeling has gone and my goal now is to live life to the fullest of my ability. I also know better how to handle my day allowing times to nap, worked out some exercise routines, some of which is doing housework.When we first moved into this house 7 years ago my goal was to build up my energy with walking down our country lane. It is beautiful as I walk I see horses, the beautiful mountains and revel in the quiet of the country lifestyle. Since my first attempts to make it to the end of the street and back I have learned I no longer have that ability or the stamina to do it. My exercise is to walk in the yard of about an acre or just under an acre. My walker has taken a beating as I wander around the yard although I have the challenge helps me to quiet the tremors, gives me a bit of energy and helps keep my weight under control. In the spring I started picking raspberries, followed by blackberries, grapes, chestnuts, pawpaw's and walnuts. Now that the harvest season is ending my goal is to find kindling so we can start fires in the wood stove with. Daisy and I wander around the yard, me with the grab stick so I don't have to bend over as much. Not only am I getting exercise, Daisy too likes to get out of the walker and roam around the yard. Val and Brendy each take turns following me around, Val does the back yard and Brendy does the front and side yard. Lovey and Maxine our newest kittens also follow me around the yard. Some days I enjoy taking pictures while others I absorb the beauty that surrounds me. The other Sunday at church I found myself tripping over the wheel of the walker. I had over done it on Saturday, after dinner i made an oatmeal cake for the potluck at church. I was exhausted when I finished baking the cake, I also did up the dishes when I finished. I believe my tripping was due to doing to much, I also believe if I had not been using the walker I would have fallen and hurt myself. I chose early on to use aids since I also have brittle bones which have a tendency to break rather easily. I pray I won't break a bone although the odds are I will one day so I choose to use aids to help me walk. Many PD patients don't want to give up too soon and use aids. The problem I see is they start falling more. Exercise is quieting down the tremors, for me my legs tend to shake much more than my hands. Doing hand exercises helps my handwriting to be easier to read, the other exercises keep my body stronger and shaking less. I also have learned I need to nap each afternoon. When we are running all day, I have learned to sleep in the truck either while we are driving or while Junior runs into Lowe's or other man stores. At first I tried to drink a cup of coffee to give me the energy while we were gone, I have learned that coffee messes my sleep up so now I plan on taking a nap instead. I have sensed God leading me into these changes that are helping me to stay engaged in day to day life and I am grateful. I still can't volunteer but I am able to socialize with my church family, going to get my hair cut and with a few close friends. I continue to look to my online group to socialize with as well, we pray for each other, we care about each other and we share the love of Jesus in common along with many of us have various disabilities. We learn that we are not alone in our disabilities. Behind all of this is God directing my day to day life, exercise routines and even teaching me to reach out to Junior, to others. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Thursday, October 19, 2017
October 19, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
When I was a new believer of Jesus, Junior taught me to read the entire Bible through starting from Genesis to Revelation. The first year or two as I read through the whole Bible I began to feel that the Bible was a love letter from God. In the last few years I have started to see that the OT seems to relate to my life before meeting Jesus. When God called Abraham to go from Ur to the land of Canaan, God was starting a relationship with Abraham and his descendants and this relationship was taking them from the natural world to the spiritual world because God is Spirit. The fall of Adam and Eve broke that close relationship, the longer humans lived the further from God they became. Junior and I were talking recently about the reason why we read both Testaments and it came to us that in the OT we learn discipline, to trust and obey God not man. We see all the times Israel followed God and things went well and times they walked away from God then life for them became difficult. God would warn the Israelite's time and time again finally they had to be brought back in line and the wrath of God was on them. To our eyes and ears today it sounds like God was nothing but wrath when you read about all the Israelite's endured, from being slaves of the Egyptians, to being deported to Babaylon. We don't seem to notice the years that Israel followed God how well their lives went. In the wilderness for 40 years the people of Israel did not worry about food or water, their clothes did not wear out etc. Also God showed His mighty power with the 10 plagues of Egypt, parted the Red Sea, had water come out of a rock and so many more miracles but the people forgot the minute a new trial came along. The people even sinned in the desert by making a golden calf when Moses took too long coming off of the mountain. I tell myself over and over, " I would have remembered to trust God", except when I dig deep into my heart, I would have forgotten the things God did for me as well. I do it even now, which irritate's me. A few years into my faith journey I started to see that the OT is much like my life before Jesus came into my heart. I believed in God, but did not believe God which meant that a few times as I drew a bit closer to Him, I would "hear" him only to get caught up in another life struggle and try to figure out how to do life on my own. Much like God taught Abraham to trust Him when he went from one country to another and kept telling Sara to tell the kings that he was her brother, because they sort of were sister and brother. Up until God had Moses lead Israel out of Egypt and gave the 10 commandments people were allowed to marry their sister's and brother's . God was teaching His people about discipline and pointing them toward their spiritual nature. Our God is a loving God and a God who discipline's those He loves. Today's Christian's seem to think God does not call us into account for our sins, He will and we see this in Revelation, along with some of Jesus' teachings like " Depart from me for I never knew you." Heaven is not an automatic in, it is easier to get into hell than heaven. The basic lesson I take from the whole Bible is to "Love God with all your strength, with all your mind and with all your heart. The second is love your neighbor as yourself." I focus on "with all your heart," each day I get up, choose to follow God again that day. I start my day in the Word, not a devotional but the actual Word of God. I ask the Holy Spirit to open my heart to God's voice and to teach me the lesson God wants me to learn. The more I enter into this relationship the more I can do a heart check to see if I am closer to God or further from Him. If I don't feel His presence in my heart then I need to pray asking God to point out the sin I have in me and then I ask God to help me walk away from that sin. A side note, when I don't feel God is close in my heart, I am the one who walked away, God has not left me. These heart checks help me stay close to God and frankly I know that I know that I am walking with God, I am saved and I won't hear "Depart from me I never knew you", instead I will hear, "Well done my faithful servant." May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet
When I was a new believer of Jesus, Junior taught me to read the entire Bible through starting from Genesis to Revelation. The first year or two as I read through the whole Bible I began to feel that the Bible was a love letter from God. In the last few years I have started to see that the OT seems to relate to my life before meeting Jesus. When God called Abraham to go from Ur to the land of Canaan, God was starting a relationship with Abraham and his descendants and this relationship was taking them from the natural world to the spiritual world because God is Spirit. The fall of Adam and Eve broke that close relationship, the longer humans lived the further from God they became. Junior and I were talking recently about the reason why we read both Testaments and it came to us that in the OT we learn discipline, to trust and obey God not man. We see all the times Israel followed God and things went well and times they walked away from God then life for them became difficult. God would warn the Israelite's time and time again finally they had to be brought back in line and the wrath of God was on them. To our eyes and ears today it sounds like God was nothing but wrath when you read about all the Israelite's endured, from being slaves of the Egyptians, to being deported to Babaylon. We don't seem to notice the years that Israel followed God how well their lives went. In the wilderness for 40 years the people of Israel did not worry about food or water, their clothes did not wear out etc. Also God showed His mighty power with the 10 plagues of Egypt, parted the Red Sea, had water come out of a rock and so many more miracles but the people forgot the minute a new trial came along. The people even sinned in the desert by making a golden calf when Moses took too long coming off of the mountain. I tell myself over and over, " I would have remembered to trust God", except when I dig deep into my heart, I would have forgotten the things God did for me as well. I do it even now, which irritate's me. A few years into my faith journey I started to see that the OT is much like my life before Jesus came into my heart. I believed in God, but did not believe God which meant that a few times as I drew a bit closer to Him, I would "hear" him only to get caught up in another life struggle and try to figure out how to do life on my own. Much like God taught Abraham to trust Him when he went from one country to another and kept telling Sara to tell the kings that he was her brother, because they sort of were sister and brother. Up until God had Moses lead Israel out of Egypt and gave the 10 commandments people were allowed to marry their sister's and brother's . God was teaching His people about discipline and pointing them toward their spiritual nature. Our God is a loving God and a God who discipline's those He loves. Today's Christian's seem to think God does not call us into account for our sins, He will and we see this in Revelation, along with some of Jesus' teachings like " Depart from me for I never knew you." Heaven is not an automatic in, it is easier to get into hell than heaven. The basic lesson I take from the whole Bible is to "Love God with all your strength, with all your mind and with all your heart. The second is love your neighbor as yourself." I focus on "with all your heart," each day I get up, choose to follow God again that day. I start my day in the Word, not a devotional but the actual Word of God. I ask the Holy Spirit to open my heart to God's voice and to teach me the lesson God wants me to learn. The more I enter into this relationship the more I can do a heart check to see if I am closer to God or further from Him. If I don't feel His presence in my heart then I need to pray asking God to point out the sin I have in me and then I ask God to help me walk away from that sin. A side note, when I don't feel God is close in my heart, I am the one who walked away, God has not left me. These heart checks help me stay close to God and frankly I know that I know that I am walking with God, I am saved and I won't hear "Depart from me I never knew you", instead I will hear, "Well done my faithful servant." May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
October 17, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
As I write the national focus is now on the fires in California, the shooter in Las Vegas although that one is settling down. It seems to me for the last year or so we go from one tragedy to another and we have not heard about how awful the flu virus is or the Zika virus in a long time. Of course the main gossip still is how awful President Trump is, it seems like the left wants nothing more than to see him removed out of office and are so focused on his perceived faults that they don't see the huge log in their own eyes like how crooked Hillary is, Bill's vile womanizing while in office or Obama's failed health care plan, policies etc. The left does not hear that there is a huge portion of American's who are tired of the status quo over the last 50 years or more. They refuse to see that President Trump is who the people voted for, want and refuse to listen to all the lies of the leftist media. Most of the right has moved away from what the mainstream media reports and even are moving away from Fox News because it all is the same regurgitated garbage we have heard for decades. We also know that President Trump has not been a saint in his life, just as the left's leaders have not so what makes President Trump so evil? What I see with the President is he has walked away from a lot of the bad behavior of his past, I see his children are respectful, hold down jobs even are running the business and not into the ground as offspring are known to do. Changed behavior is easier to deal with than behavior that says one thing and does another. The Bible teaches me that what is done in the dark comes to the light which the left's leader's deeds keep showing us. President Trump has changed, he genuinely cares for people and not just his own self interests. He accepts no pay, where as our congress, retires rather comfortably on the back of the people. Many have become millionaire's while in office complaining about how the other party does not want what's best for the people. If they cared, they would take pay cuts just like most business' do when times are hard. Their benefits are better than ours, they borrow from the money we pay into SS then tell us we have to take less. There is a silent majority out here that are at the end of their ropes of listening to all the rubbish. when there is a need, this silent majority quietly reaches out to help their fellow man, even those that are hurting and we disagree with. Hillary's charitable fund from what I can discern helps make her and her family richer and when is the last time you saw the Clinton's out with their shirtsleeves rolled up helping others? I can't recall ever seeing this. President Trump has allowed God to be the God the nation worships once again with no concern if people are offended. Our country was founded on the Bible's principals and other nations do not change their god's for people who move into their countries, why should we change our God. Our God calls us to love each other with a brotherly love, I don't recall hearing other god's teaching this doctrine. Other religion's are allowed to worship their god in our land, but our God is the God we have worshiped since the pilgrim's first landed at Plymouth rock. Much of the silent majority is also praying for those who are in distress during these natural disaster's as well, the ones that can't go, send along money or goods as well. President Trump has even donated money from his funds to help these areas in need. I have also never heard of the Clinton's doing so or the Obama's. We get lectured on what ignorant people we are which makes me want to be a part of the left...Not! I am grateful that President Trump has gotten us out of the global...freezing (back in the 70's,) warming.....and now climate change garbage. There has been climate change since the flood and will continue until Jesus comes back. About the time man thinks he knows all the answers God mixes things up and all of a sudden man is not as smart as he thinks he is. My guess is the environment will goes through cycles until the world ends. We do need to be respectful of the earth,outer space etc. but we don't need to be crazy. The silent majority is here and we are thrilled to have someone who is not paying lip service to us. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
As I write the national focus is now on the fires in California, the shooter in Las Vegas although that one is settling down. It seems to me for the last year or so we go from one tragedy to another and we have not heard about how awful the flu virus is or the Zika virus in a long time. Of course the main gossip still is how awful President Trump is, it seems like the left wants nothing more than to see him removed out of office and are so focused on his perceived faults that they don't see the huge log in their own eyes like how crooked Hillary is, Bill's vile womanizing while in office or Obama's failed health care plan, policies etc. The left does not hear that there is a huge portion of American's who are tired of the status quo over the last 50 years or more. They refuse to see that President Trump is who the people voted for, want and refuse to listen to all the lies of the leftist media. Most of the right has moved away from what the mainstream media reports and even are moving away from Fox News because it all is the same regurgitated garbage we have heard for decades. We also know that President Trump has not been a saint in his life, just as the left's leaders have not so what makes President Trump so evil? What I see with the President is he has walked away from a lot of the bad behavior of his past, I see his children are respectful, hold down jobs even are running the business and not into the ground as offspring are known to do. Changed behavior is easier to deal with than behavior that says one thing and does another. The Bible teaches me that what is done in the dark comes to the light which the left's leader's deeds keep showing us. President Trump has changed, he genuinely cares for people and not just his own self interests. He accepts no pay, where as our congress, retires rather comfortably on the back of the people. Many have become millionaire's while in office complaining about how the other party does not want what's best for the people. If they cared, they would take pay cuts just like most business' do when times are hard. Their benefits are better than ours, they borrow from the money we pay into SS then tell us we have to take less. There is a silent majority out here that are at the end of their ropes of listening to all the rubbish. when there is a need, this silent majority quietly reaches out to help their fellow man, even those that are hurting and we disagree with. Hillary's charitable fund from what I can discern helps make her and her family richer and when is the last time you saw the Clinton's out with their shirtsleeves rolled up helping others? I can't recall ever seeing this. President Trump has allowed God to be the God the nation worships once again with no concern if people are offended. Our country was founded on the Bible's principals and other nations do not change their god's for people who move into their countries, why should we change our God. Our God calls us to love each other with a brotherly love, I don't recall hearing other god's teaching this doctrine. Other religion's are allowed to worship their god in our land, but our God is the God we have worshiped since the pilgrim's first landed at Plymouth rock. Much of the silent majority is also praying for those who are in distress during these natural disaster's as well, the ones that can't go, send along money or goods as well. President Trump has even donated money from his funds to help these areas in need. I have also never heard of the Clinton's doing so or the Obama's. We get lectured on what ignorant people we are which makes me want to be a part of the left...Not! I am grateful that President Trump has gotten us out of the global...freezing (back in the 70's,) warming.....and now climate change garbage. There has been climate change since the flood and will continue until Jesus comes back. About the time man thinks he knows all the answers God mixes things up and all of a sudden man is not as smart as he thinks he is. My guess is the environment will goes through cycles until the world ends. We do need to be respectful of the earth,outer space etc. but we don't need to be crazy. The silent majority is here and we are thrilled to have someone who is not paying lip service to us. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Saturday, October 14, 2017
October 14, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
For me, I read both the OT and NT studying and learning much from both, sometimes I even see how both Testaments help me understand God on a deeper level. Each year as I read through the Bible I begin to see even how Revelation's is being taught in the OT, this year my study has me reading Ezekiel and Revelation at the same time and I am amazed how the OT lines up with the NT perfectly. I even see how today's Christian's have followed the same path as the Israelite's did in the OT, Ezekiel states "Her priests have violated my law, and have profaned mine holy things: they have put no difference between the holy and profane, neither have they shewed the difference between the unclean and the clean and have hid their eyes from my sabbaths, and I am profaned among them." God is upset that the priests aren't even doing the things Moses taught them, they aren't even teaching what Moses taught them. I see that many Pastor's and Minister's today are not teaching God's whole Word, love and judgement. We all know that God loves us, wants our best and basically God is a warm fuzzy God. What we do not understand is that God is also a God of judgement and He teaches us those things He will judge, many teachers of the Word of God teach God won't call us into account. When I get to Revelation I read, "And I went unto the angel, and said unto him, Give me the little book. And he said unto me, Take it and eat it up; and it shall make thy bell bitter, but it shall be in thy mouth sweet as honey." I reread that last line a few times and pondered it, what I am learning is that the Word of God is sweet as honey but it can be bitter if we choose to live, teach against the Word. After thinking on this I came to the conclusion I also need to know God's Word fully, read it daily, study it for myself with no Bible study aid other than the study Bible. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me learn God's truth by helping me to "hear" God's voice as I read and study it. In so doing I begin to see the similarities between the OT and the NT., that Jesus and the Apostle's taught from the OT and that we as Christian's are following the same pitfall's the Jewish people of old fell into. I even see for me anyway how my life has followed much the same path that those in the OT walked. God took Abraham and began teaching Him to follow although Abraham had to learn to trust God, right from the start of the Jewish nation I see my steps of learning to walk with God much the same. Later we were given the 10 commandments and I honestly have broken them myself, even though I have not murdered people, I have murdered their self esteem with very unkind and cruel words. I also believe the only way I can begin to follow the 10 commandments is with the Holy Spirit's guidance and the 10 commandment's are as relevant today as they were when Moses gave them. Recently I was speaking with a fairly new believer who thought only the NT was necessary to get into heaven, and it could be although I found the OT helpful in teaching about how to know that you know Jesus when He returns. I wanted to use the pass over illustration in the OT of how I will know Jesus and not choose a false Jesus to follow when He returns. God will have a mark on the believers then they will be taken up. I have once again decided that I will study both the NT and OT again next year because it makes sense to me, if God wrote the whole Word of God then I need to read the whole Word of God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
For me, I read both the OT and NT studying and learning much from both, sometimes I even see how both Testaments help me understand God on a deeper level. Each year as I read through the Bible I begin to see even how Revelation's is being taught in the OT, this year my study has me reading Ezekiel and Revelation at the same time and I am amazed how the OT lines up with the NT perfectly. I even see how today's Christian's have followed the same path as the Israelite's did in the OT, Ezekiel states "Her priests have violated my law, and have profaned mine holy things: they have put no difference between the holy and profane, neither have they shewed the difference between the unclean and the clean and have hid their eyes from my sabbaths, and I am profaned among them." God is upset that the priests aren't even doing the things Moses taught them, they aren't even teaching what Moses taught them. I see that many Pastor's and Minister's today are not teaching God's whole Word, love and judgement. We all know that God loves us, wants our best and basically God is a warm fuzzy God. What we do not understand is that God is also a God of judgement and He teaches us those things He will judge, many teachers of the Word of God teach God won't call us into account. When I get to Revelation I read, "And I went unto the angel, and said unto him, Give me the little book. And he said unto me, Take it and eat it up; and it shall make thy bell bitter, but it shall be in thy mouth sweet as honey." I reread that last line a few times and pondered it, what I am learning is that the Word of God is sweet as honey but it can be bitter if we choose to live, teach against the Word. After thinking on this I came to the conclusion I also need to know God's Word fully, read it daily, study it for myself with no Bible study aid other than the study Bible. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me learn God's truth by helping me to "hear" God's voice as I read and study it. In so doing I begin to see the similarities between the OT and the NT., that Jesus and the Apostle's taught from the OT and that we as Christian's are following the same pitfall's the Jewish people of old fell into. I even see for me anyway how my life has followed much the same path that those in the OT walked. God took Abraham and began teaching Him to follow although Abraham had to learn to trust God, right from the start of the Jewish nation I see my steps of learning to walk with God much the same. Later we were given the 10 commandments and I honestly have broken them myself, even though I have not murdered people, I have murdered their self esteem with very unkind and cruel words. I also believe the only way I can begin to follow the 10 commandments is with the Holy Spirit's guidance and the 10 commandment's are as relevant today as they were when Moses gave them. Recently I was speaking with a fairly new believer who thought only the NT was necessary to get into heaven, and it could be although I found the OT helpful in teaching about how to know that you know Jesus when He returns. I wanted to use the pass over illustration in the OT of how I will know Jesus and not choose a false Jesus to follow when He returns. God will have a mark on the believers then they will be taken up. I have once again decided that I will study both the NT and OT again next year because it makes sense to me, if God wrote the whole Word of God then I need to read the whole Word of God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Thursday, October 12, 2017
October 12, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
Junior was up north again, Debbie and Boogie invited me over to have lunch then watch a movie. The next morning I received a text asking if lunch and some shopping would be okay, I thought so and that is what we did. I discovered Belks clothing store more fully with my friends and had a blast shopping until I could hardly stand anymore. There was a great sale going on and I was told it was as good as going thrift store shopping, which is was. After a few hours Boogie started asking Debbie if she was ready to go, I found myself taking rests sitting on the seat of my walker, then getting up and looking one more time only to find one more item to buy. All three of us were dragging when we left the store. I had arranged with Terrie to get a ride to church on Sunday morning, then she cancelled do to lots of body pain, it worked out for me because I got up late due to all the shopping we did the day before. I hate missing church, a part of me is lost unless I make it to church on Sunday. I did catch Charles Stanley on TV although I missed being with other believers. About the time I think I have worked through the issues in my life, something old pops up again challenging me to rethink how I have dealt with the issue in my life. The whole time we were shopping I worried about spending too much money, I had ordered a few things from QVC over the weekend and then I went shopping. Junior does not worry about spending money, he has learned to live within our means and is on top of our finances these days. On one of the credit cards he pays it forward so most of the money I spent over the weekend was already paid for on the card I used. I know this issue goes back to being a child and being told to answer the phone to bill collectors. I have always managed my money although I worried myself sick about it. I also find that I go on a mini spending spree once or twice a year, which bothers me. I will enjoy the things I got and more than likely I have settled my need for major retail therapy for awhile. Part of buying new clothes or shoes means I will go through my closet and get rid of things, generally the same amount of items I bought. I also find with the change of the seasons I also pull the clothes or shoes I have not worn that year. All the things I get rid of are then donated to local charity thrift stores or events that help groups in the area. Right now I am in the process of switching to wearing dresses or jumpers instead of skirts. I have always been uncomfortable with things tight on my waist, I believe it is part of my GERDS digestive problems. I have mostly been buying thrift store dresses because I did not want to spend a small fortune on starting up a new wardrobe, the sale at Belks though was rather good, as Boogie said just as good as thrift store shopping. I thought I would never like wearing dresses all the time, I do I love it and it truly helps my balance issues with getting my clothes on and such. It seems as I read about Ataxia and Parkinson's one of the areas where falls are in the bathroom, so my thought is the less I need to pull up the better for being stable and not falling. I also like wearing longer dresses so i can sit cross legged since most of the time my feet don't reach the ground. My guess is within a year or two I will have my wardrobe switched over and each season I may pick up an item or two for now though I am having fun. Junior loved all the things I found and once again, I learned it is silly to worry about life because God always makes sure I have what I need and I attempt to be respectful with the funds we have. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Junior was up north again, Debbie and Boogie invited me over to have lunch then watch a movie. The next morning I received a text asking if lunch and some shopping would be okay, I thought so and that is what we did. I discovered Belks clothing store more fully with my friends and had a blast shopping until I could hardly stand anymore. There was a great sale going on and I was told it was as good as going thrift store shopping, which is was. After a few hours Boogie started asking Debbie if she was ready to go, I found myself taking rests sitting on the seat of my walker, then getting up and looking one more time only to find one more item to buy. All three of us were dragging when we left the store. I had arranged with Terrie to get a ride to church on Sunday morning, then she cancelled do to lots of body pain, it worked out for me because I got up late due to all the shopping we did the day before. I hate missing church, a part of me is lost unless I make it to church on Sunday. I did catch Charles Stanley on TV although I missed being with other believers. About the time I think I have worked through the issues in my life, something old pops up again challenging me to rethink how I have dealt with the issue in my life. The whole time we were shopping I worried about spending too much money, I had ordered a few things from QVC over the weekend and then I went shopping. Junior does not worry about spending money, he has learned to live within our means and is on top of our finances these days. On one of the credit cards he pays it forward so most of the money I spent over the weekend was already paid for on the card I used. I know this issue goes back to being a child and being told to answer the phone to bill collectors. I have always managed my money although I worried myself sick about it. I also find that I go on a mini spending spree once or twice a year, which bothers me. I will enjoy the things I got and more than likely I have settled my need for major retail therapy for awhile. Part of buying new clothes or shoes means I will go through my closet and get rid of things, generally the same amount of items I bought. I also find with the change of the seasons I also pull the clothes or shoes I have not worn that year. All the things I get rid of are then donated to local charity thrift stores or events that help groups in the area. Right now I am in the process of switching to wearing dresses or jumpers instead of skirts. I have always been uncomfortable with things tight on my waist, I believe it is part of my GERDS digestive problems. I have mostly been buying thrift store dresses because I did not want to spend a small fortune on starting up a new wardrobe, the sale at Belks though was rather good, as Boogie said just as good as thrift store shopping. I thought I would never like wearing dresses all the time, I do I love it and it truly helps my balance issues with getting my clothes on and such. It seems as I read about Ataxia and Parkinson's one of the areas where falls are in the bathroom, so my thought is the less I need to pull up the better for being stable and not falling. I also like wearing longer dresses so i can sit cross legged since most of the time my feet don't reach the ground. My guess is within a year or two I will have my wardrobe switched over and each season I may pick up an item or two for now though I am having fun. Junior loved all the things I found and once again, I learned it is silly to worry about life because God always makes sure I have what I need and I attempt to be respectful with the funds we have. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
October 10, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
It has been a couple of months now since we have started going back to Wednesday night prayer meetings. I have been doing fairly well with the added activity, I am learning more about praying and I am grateful for hanging out with fairly much the same crowd we hang out with on Sunday night Bible study. We joke around before and after the service starts but during the prayer meeting we are serious as we go over the list of names that have been submitted. Some of these names have been on the list for years now due to being home bound or in assisted living places. I don't know most of these names although my time of 8 years there are names I do know. Peggy has been in the hospital and in rehab for several months now, I long to see her pop into each of the Sunday school classes with sheets of paper she has copied something for the classes to read. I miss her at Bible study and the prayer meetings and my heart asks silently if she will ever return. Junior and I went to see her the other day after she had done her work in rehab, she was in the middle of a breathing treatment due to her having pneumonia. Peggy was wore out, she barely recognized me and she did not recognize Junior, probably because he has a beard now and she had not ever seen him with one. I think back to the church I belonged to from a child through to my 40's until my divorce. The circle I belonged to sponsored a shut in lady who was an upbeat woman, she needed a walker so she got a Harley bandanna tied it to her walker, found a Harley bag so she could put things in it while she walked around her apartment. This woman comes to mind now that I use a walker, instead of Harley things I found a butterfly bag, seat cover and cushion cover for the back support when I sit on the walker. Irene and Grandma come to mind as well, neither liked being older and bound at home since neither of them drove. I am facing this obstacle also, we learn from those who have gone on before us, I have decided to be as active as I am able within the church. My desire is to stay focused on Jesus and to socialize, do the work of the church that which I am able. Sunday school and Bible study deepen my walk with Jesus, the service opens my heart to God and His goodness. As I write Junior is getting ready to go out of town for a few days, to meet up with some of the people who lived near him when he was a child. Because I fellowship with other believers I will call and see if someone will take me to church on Sunday. I don't know if I will see if one my girl friends are available because I have a sinus infection which has me moving barely at all. If I perk up I will see, if I go out with them, great if not I am comfortable to spend a few days around the house. The quiet will give me time to say a few extra prayers for people on Facebook, the prayer concerns of those who are on our "One call" prayer chain and of course for Junior's safety and the gathering of friends. I am sure Daisy and I will walk around the property, not down the road since Lovey, Cinnamon and Val sneak out to go with me. My church family and my private walk with Jesus are what sustains me. I am grateful that Junior is a godly man and there is no problem being a follower of Jesus. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
It has been a couple of months now since we have started going back to Wednesday night prayer meetings. I have been doing fairly well with the added activity, I am learning more about praying and I am grateful for hanging out with fairly much the same crowd we hang out with on Sunday night Bible study. We joke around before and after the service starts but during the prayer meeting we are serious as we go over the list of names that have been submitted. Some of these names have been on the list for years now due to being home bound or in assisted living places. I don't know most of these names although my time of 8 years there are names I do know. Peggy has been in the hospital and in rehab for several months now, I long to see her pop into each of the Sunday school classes with sheets of paper she has copied something for the classes to read. I miss her at Bible study and the prayer meetings and my heart asks silently if she will ever return. Junior and I went to see her the other day after she had done her work in rehab, she was in the middle of a breathing treatment due to her having pneumonia. Peggy was wore out, she barely recognized me and she did not recognize Junior, probably because he has a beard now and she had not ever seen him with one. I think back to the church I belonged to from a child through to my 40's until my divorce. The circle I belonged to sponsored a shut in lady who was an upbeat woman, she needed a walker so she got a Harley bandanna tied it to her walker, found a Harley bag so she could put things in it while she walked around her apartment. This woman comes to mind now that I use a walker, instead of Harley things I found a butterfly bag, seat cover and cushion cover for the back support when I sit on the walker. Irene and Grandma come to mind as well, neither liked being older and bound at home since neither of them drove. I am facing this obstacle also, we learn from those who have gone on before us, I have decided to be as active as I am able within the church. My desire is to stay focused on Jesus and to socialize, do the work of the church that which I am able. Sunday school and Bible study deepen my walk with Jesus, the service opens my heart to God and His goodness. As I write Junior is getting ready to go out of town for a few days, to meet up with some of the people who lived near him when he was a child. Because I fellowship with other believers I will call and see if someone will take me to church on Sunday. I don't know if I will see if one my girl friends are available because I have a sinus infection which has me moving barely at all. If I perk up I will see, if I go out with them, great if not I am comfortable to spend a few days around the house. The quiet will give me time to say a few extra prayers for people on Facebook, the prayer concerns of those who are on our "One call" prayer chain and of course for Junior's safety and the gathering of friends. I am sure Daisy and I will walk around the property, not down the road since Lovey, Cinnamon and Val sneak out to go with me. My church family and my private walk with Jesus are what sustains me. I am grateful that Junior is a godly man and there is no problem being a follower of Jesus. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Saturday, October 7, 2017
October 7 2017
Greetings My Friend,
Awhile back I fasted for the first time, since I am not able to go without food, I fasted staying off of Facebook. I feel my ministry is on Facebook, writing a blog and writing a Facebook page and up until the fast I was online for over 900 days in a row. Numbers tell me that I am being effective although I have a tendency to see my value in those numbers a little too much so I interrupted them with the fast. The week prior to my fast I started to get a true sense of the ministry Junior is called to do although we have talked about it, I found it difficult to allow him be what he needs to be. One day he was telling me a truth I did not want to hear and deal with, all of a sudden a picture popped into my mind it was a piece of sandpaper and I realized that is what Junior does he grates things scratching off the rough edges until the new surface comes up smooth. After church the previous Sunday I noticed he stopped saying Amen during the morning worship. I asked him about it and he said he was tired of me jabbing him with each Amen he shouted out. Pastor Joe is working on opening the church up to participate with him during the worship service. It is very new to me, uncomfortably new and by the quietness of the congregation it is to them as well. We prefer to sit be quiet and listen to the sermon. This church is wilder than the one I grew up in, they clap hands after the choir sings, special announcements and such. When Pastor Joe came he started encouraging the congregation to say Amen, maybe wave a hankie. Junior has been the one who was trying to get us going and after 8 or 9 months, we still are lumps on the log, me included. My row though has fun watching me jabbing at Junior, they look over the minute Junior shouts out Amen make eye contact with a smile, it was becoming a game to get giggles. When I realized what I was doing by jabbing Junior and how I was not allowing him to be himself, I felt real bad and asked him to forgive me. During my prayers in my fast I realized that I need to get out of my comfortable shell and to begin worshiping with my voice, my body (raising my hands in the air) and even maybe go up to the alter to pray. This is very scary for me but if God is calling me to it I must do it. During the week Junior was on Facebook trying to get a conversation going, actually he has been trying to in person with people we talk to on a regular basis. It is a topic that is uncomfortable, many people are angry about but it is not talked about because it politically incorrect. I know by the response to several public incidents that many Americans are seething mad, they feel what is being done disrespects the flag, the sacrifice of the military past and present. All kinds of angry comments, videos from Americans of different ethnic backgrounds are put out with the behavior so Junior was doing his grating and it was not well received. He was accused of all kinds of things and I wanted to let it be but I did not, I think God prompted me because my words were better composed than I could have on my own. God is calling me to use the mouth He created me with way back when I was a little girl challenging my parents, turning into a child that blabbed everything which kept me from some major sexual abuse. My mouth used to tear people apart with no thought to the damage I was creating. God has been working on me to control my temper for a few decades now and rarely do I get mad enough to tear someone up with my words. A friend wrote on her status update that she was tired of all the negativity, I agreed but try as I might I was having a hard time keeping quiet. I truly wanted to. After the sandpaper picture God placed another picture in my mind, this time it is John the Baptist and the verse is "I am a voice of one crying in the wilderness...." As much as I like to speak kind encouraging words, I am being told to tell the truth...in love but tell the hard truth. I learned that the end may be tomorrow but until that final moment God wants me to reach the souls that have not been made right. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Awhile back I fasted for the first time, since I am not able to go without food, I fasted staying off of Facebook. I feel my ministry is on Facebook, writing a blog and writing a Facebook page and up until the fast I was online for over 900 days in a row. Numbers tell me that I am being effective although I have a tendency to see my value in those numbers a little too much so I interrupted them with the fast. The week prior to my fast I started to get a true sense of the ministry Junior is called to do although we have talked about it, I found it difficult to allow him be what he needs to be. One day he was telling me a truth I did not want to hear and deal with, all of a sudden a picture popped into my mind it was a piece of sandpaper and I realized that is what Junior does he grates things scratching off the rough edges until the new surface comes up smooth. After church the previous Sunday I noticed he stopped saying Amen during the morning worship. I asked him about it and he said he was tired of me jabbing him with each Amen he shouted out. Pastor Joe is working on opening the church up to participate with him during the worship service. It is very new to me, uncomfortably new and by the quietness of the congregation it is to them as well. We prefer to sit be quiet and listen to the sermon. This church is wilder than the one I grew up in, they clap hands after the choir sings, special announcements and such. When Pastor Joe came he started encouraging the congregation to say Amen, maybe wave a hankie. Junior has been the one who was trying to get us going and after 8 or 9 months, we still are lumps on the log, me included. My row though has fun watching me jabbing at Junior, they look over the minute Junior shouts out Amen make eye contact with a smile, it was becoming a game to get giggles. When I realized what I was doing by jabbing Junior and how I was not allowing him to be himself, I felt real bad and asked him to forgive me. During my prayers in my fast I realized that I need to get out of my comfortable shell and to begin worshiping with my voice, my body (raising my hands in the air) and even maybe go up to the alter to pray. This is very scary for me but if God is calling me to it I must do it. During the week Junior was on Facebook trying to get a conversation going, actually he has been trying to in person with people we talk to on a regular basis. It is a topic that is uncomfortable, many people are angry about but it is not talked about because it politically incorrect. I know by the response to several public incidents that many Americans are seething mad, they feel what is being done disrespects the flag, the sacrifice of the military past and present. All kinds of angry comments, videos from Americans of different ethnic backgrounds are put out with the behavior so Junior was doing his grating and it was not well received. He was accused of all kinds of things and I wanted to let it be but I did not, I think God prompted me because my words were better composed than I could have on my own. God is calling me to use the mouth He created me with way back when I was a little girl challenging my parents, turning into a child that blabbed everything which kept me from some major sexual abuse. My mouth used to tear people apart with no thought to the damage I was creating. God has been working on me to control my temper for a few decades now and rarely do I get mad enough to tear someone up with my words. A friend wrote on her status update that she was tired of all the negativity, I agreed but try as I might I was having a hard time keeping quiet. I truly wanted to. After the sandpaper picture God placed another picture in my mind, this time it is John the Baptist and the verse is "I am a voice of one crying in the wilderness...." As much as I like to speak kind encouraging words, I am being told to tell the truth...in love but tell the hard truth. I learned that the end may be tomorrow but until that final moment God wants me to reach the souls that have not been made right. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Thursday, October 5, 2017
October 5, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
It is amazing how a reduction in a medication can help me be awake and able to deal with my day better, exercise is also helping me be more active. As a woman and a caretaker it has been difficult to learn to make life about "me," although in doing so I am capable of reaching out to others more easily because I have the energy to do so. As my strength comes back to a certain extent I also know I will need to continue to be about what I need to do in order to be more effective in helping others. Staying on top of my Parkinson's has to be my priority, after Jesus and Junior. In doing so my tremors are less frequent, I have energy to be more like I wanted to be at this stage of my life. I feel so much more able to handle things that Junior and I are planning on taking a trip to Michigan. I have felt that I was not totally ready to quit taking trips, I don't care to travel far and wide anymore although weekend trips, trips back to Michigan to see family and friends would be nice. I can not take credit for the upswing in my health, it has been God's guidance showing me how to eat better, to take one step after another until I am where I am today. The walk around our yard several nights during the week has loosened up the wheels on my walker so that Junior needed to tighten them for me. For me that is a wonderful indication of what the walk around on our property is doing for me. I do not know how long this physical and bodily improvement will last but I am going to keep at it as long as I am able. My heart question now is how does God want to use me? I have a heart to be more of a praying woman, praying for healing in our nation, the world, to be able to offer the hope I have which is Jesus and to tell others what He has done for me in my life. I am also getting things in order within our home, working to pull the kitchen together at present as it gets closer to being finished. By doing this I need to use my brain so I am able to organize the kitchen in a way that is useful to Junior and I as we cook. I love organizing and I have organized the kitchen with each phase of renovation. I have been adding more chores around the house as I have gained the energy and strength to do so. Seven years ago when we bought this house and later moved in I could barely do much of anything. The progress has been long and hard won but it is now here and hopefully I will maintain or even gain some more energy. God is good and I am grateful. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet
It is amazing how a reduction in a medication can help me be awake and able to deal with my day better, exercise is also helping me be more active. As a woman and a caretaker it has been difficult to learn to make life about "me," although in doing so I am capable of reaching out to others more easily because I have the energy to do so. As my strength comes back to a certain extent I also know I will need to continue to be about what I need to do in order to be more effective in helping others. Staying on top of my Parkinson's has to be my priority, after Jesus and Junior. In doing so my tremors are less frequent, I have energy to be more like I wanted to be at this stage of my life. I feel so much more able to handle things that Junior and I are planning on taking a trip to Michigan. I have felt that I was not totally ready to quit taking trips, I don't care to travel far and wide anymore although weekend trips, trips back to Michigan to see family and friends would be nice. I can not take credit for the upswing in my health, it has been God's guidance showing me how to eat better, to take one step after another until I am where I am today. The walk around our yard several nights during the week has loosened up the wheels on my walker so that Junior needed to tighten them for me. For me that is a wonderful indication of what the walk around on our property is doing for me. I do not know how long this physical and bodily improvement will last but I am going to keep at it as long as I am able. My heart question now is how does God want to use me? I have a heart to be more of a praying woman, praying for healing in our nation, the world, to be able to offer the hope I have which is Jesus and to tell others what He has done for me in my life. I am also getting things in order within our home, working to pull the kitchen together at present as it gets closer to being finished. By doing this I need to use my brain so I am able to organize the kitchen in a way that is useful to Junior and I as we cook. I love organizing and I have organized the kitchen with each phase of renovation. I have been adding more chores around the house as I have gained the energy and strength to do so. Seven years ago when we bought this house and later moved in I could barely do much of anything. The progress has been long and hard won but it is now here and hopefully I will maintain or even gain some more energy. God is good and I am grateful. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
October 3, 2017
Greetings My Friend,
As the debate goes around the nation about standing to say the pledge, to sing our national anthem, my heart breaks as I see rich athlete's state that they are oppressed. I sense a nation about fed up with the disrespect that abounds and the tension grows thicker with each perceived injustice. I go the the Word of God and I am led to this passage in Micah "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." We are a nation on the tipping edge of self destruction from within. I felt such hope when after the hurricanes struck, the fires, the floods and the total chaos of natural disasters that we were once more coming back to a nation of people caring for each other. There is a voice that has not been heard and is tired of not being heard by our elected officials, the media and that voice is tired of all the special interest groups hating America. We finally have a leader who "hears" us who stands up for us and the country is so filled with hatred that they want his downfall at the cost of dividing our nation. The end of the world may be near, to me I see we are not unlike the ancient Jewish people who kept telling God they would follow His ways only to walk away the next day after He rescued them in mighty ways. Our land no longer attempts to follow God, we have the attitude that God does not know what He is doing God sends us as I call it spankings and each spanking gets a lot worse. We are in the midst of fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and still we fight. We stop for a moment to care for those who are hurting from the floods etc. only to taunt each other again. Where is forgiveness in this nation? There is none. Why aren't those that are making top dollar and feeling oppressed going out to help those who are in need, no they prefer to disrespect what others have fought so hard for, the freedom that we as a nation take for granted and feel it is their right to blame every generation but our own. The common prayer is to ask God " If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their country." We need to repent, accept that we have sinned and then God will forgive us, not pray this prayer and stay the same way. Part of me thinks those of us who go to church, believe God is the true God are not praying this prayer of repentance and then allowing God to humble us. I am praying for revival in my heart first, for the nation 2nd and I am seeking God to lead, guide and direct my path which I pray is the start of a revival first in me then in the land. The end of the world may be coming soon, until then is it not up to us believers to seek God's hand on us, our land, the world? Let us begin by seeking for the church to ask for forgiveness then we can hear God, guide us to the reconciling peace with our neighbor. We can not know God's heart unless we read the whole Bible, not once but over and over and then we will begin to hear God from heaven bring healing to our land. I end this with my prayer, Father forgive me for I am a sinner, I have sat back because it is comfortable and it is easier to lament the wrongs than to seek You and ask how You want me to go forward into my world. In Jesus name I pray. Love Janet
As the debate goes around the nation about standing to say the pledge, to sing our national anthem, my heart breaks as I see rich athlete's state that they are oppressed. I sense a nation about fed up with the disrespect that abounds and the tension grows thicker with each perceived injustice. I go the the Word of God and I am led to this passage in Micah "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." We are a nation on the tipping edge of self destruction from within. I felt such hope when after the hurricanes struck, the fires, the floods and the total chaos of natural disasters that we were once more coming back to a nation of people caring for each other. There is a voice that has not been heard and is tired of not being heard by our elected officials, the media and that voice is tired of all the special interest groups hating America. We finally have a leader who "hears" us who stands up for us and the country is so filled with hatred that they want his downfall at the cost of dividing our nation. The end of the world may be near, to me I see we are not unlike the ancient Jewish people who kept telling God they would follow His ways only to walk away the next day after He rescued them in mighty ways. Our land no longer attempts to follow God, we have the attitude that God does not know what He is doing God sends us as I call it spankings and each spanking gets a lot worse. We are in the midst of fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and still we fight. We stop for a moment to care for those who are hurting from the floods etc. only to taunt each other again. Where is forgiveness in this nation? There is none. Why aren't those that are making top dollar and feeling oppressed going out to help those who are in need, no they prefer to disrespect what others have fought so hard for, the freedom that we as a nation take for granted and feel it is their right to blame every generation but our own. The common prayer is to ask God " If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their country." We need to repent, accept that we have sinned and then God will forgive us, not pray this prayer and stay the same way. Part of me thinks those of us who go to church, believe God is the true God are not praying this prayer of repentance and then allowing God to humble us. I am praying for revival in my heart first, for the nation 2nd and I am seeking God to lead, guide and direct my path which I pray is the start of a revival first in me then in the land. The end of the world may be coming soon, until then is it not up to us believers to seek God's hand on us, our land, the world? Let us begin by seeking for the church to ask for forgiveness then we can hear God, guide us to the reconciling peace with our neighbor. We can not know God's heart unless we read the whole Bible, not once but over and over and then we will begin to hear God from heaven bring healing to our land. I end this with my prayer, Father forgive me for I am a sinner, I have sat back because it is comfortable and it is easier to lament the wrongs than to seek You and ask how You want me to go forward into my world. In Jesus name I pray. Love Janet
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