June 25, 2011

Greetings My Friend,

"For such a time as this." I've been playing with this phrase I find in the book of Ester. She was made queen when the King got rid of the old queen because she would not come out and display herself when the King called her. Queen Ester was an Isralite, an orphan. The King picked her out of all the women in his harem to be the Queen.

The King's second in command was not happy with the Isralite people. Mordicai was the one he was angriest at. Mordicai would not bow to him and so he devised a plan to kill off all the Isralite's. Mordicai was Ester's Uncle and he raised her. He told Ester of the plot and felt she could intervene. He told her that she could have born for such a time as this.

Sometimes the only way I can deal with the struggles I've had in life is thinking maybe I can help someone else who is struggling with what I've gone through. I started this habit when my son was a baby. He would not talk no matter what I did to entice him to. The doctor thought I was spoiling him. This child would start crying when I held out a cookie telling him "say cookie". He couldn't hear me so repeating was not going to happen. Finally a doctor looked into his ears and they were inverted. He had so much fluid in his ears that they inverted. He couldn't hear that was why he wasn't talking.

It is at that point I began to want to tell others so no one else would have to go through what we did. He was angry and frusturated. I was beside myslef trying to figure out how to reach this child. As I have gone on in life I've tried to reach out to tell what I've learned so another may move through the struggle easier.

As I have entered into my faith journey this keeps coming back to me. I want to reach out to those that are hurting, mainly those who struggle with abuse. I want to offer them the hope I have. My hope is Jesus. He has taught me how to walk away, to let go of anger and a whole host of things. Counseling helps but Jesus, He comforts me when life hurts, He gives me the ability to walk away from junk...sin...and even the hurts of life. On my own, I would not be where I am today. Again counseling helps but Jesus seems to take me the extra step.

I was born for a time such as this....that statement helps me so much. I have a reason to live, a purpose to live and that drives me. Being wanted and needed have made me feel loved in ways I never felt love before. God trusts me too. That is a blessing. Even though I have fallen apart and am coming back, God still uses me. He tells me to write a blog, a book and I have, with His help. I am telling my story not for attention but so that maybe someone else may be able to move on from where they are.

In Virginia I have a need to reach out to the community out here. Many are real poor. I've been very poor and I can relate on that level as well. The young man that helped Junior has had a chance to have a steady income. It was small but he had money in his pocket for a short period of time last year...a couple of months. Hopefully he will get a job and move forward. My friend B has known the sting of abuse. I can talk to her in a more frank way. She knows I've been there and she hears the love when I talk to her. For such a time as this....again that plays around in my head. God had me grow and then He had me go out and do.

I don't think God wanted me to suffer what I have suffered. He does use my suffering though. He gives me the strength to face it, to overcome and then to go out and do. In the doing, I find I heal too. I am able to share what I've been able to overcome.

There was a real neat house over by P and I would have loved to get it. It was for sale, the sign said they only wanted serious offers. The people never called us back. It is just about a year and we left several messages. We found this house we have. We prayed. We really liked it as well. It was a lot of work though, we knew it and God seemed to say this was it. We bought it and it is a lot of work. I have never had a home that has felt as comfortable as this one. It is perfect for us and when Junior gets done, this will be a real comfortable home for us. Now though Junior works at renovating it. I work at feeding my man, keeping up what I am able to and someday we will have a real nice home.

M and J moved in during the summer while we were working on the house before we moved in. Once we moved in we have struck a friendship. I love J running around with me as I do errands, go for doctor appointments and what have you. J's mom died two years ago and she misses her mom. I have a need to reach out to young women. It helps ease the pain of a daughter who has walked away from me. I get to give her mother advice. I get to have help when I can't do things. She helps me set up the house when I need help.

I believe God knew that M and J were going to move in next door and that this house not the one by P would be the one. He directed us to buy it and now.... So the phrase for such a time as this comes to mind. God knew what I needed, what J needed and so we are now neighbors.

As I end this my thought is.....for such a time as this.....what is the time for you?

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet