October 28, 2017

Greetings My Friend,

My heart desires to balance my prayers with my own needs and ask for others needs, I am not sure I do this all the time. As we renovate our home, a home that had no heat, or good electricity even the plumbing was in need of shoring up I found myself more interested in HGTV pretty. At first I thought having a huge walk in closet, two sinks in the bathroom type of thing to be important. As time went on, we lived in the house and retirement started to take shape for me I realized that those things were not so important, my desire was to be comfortable, have a small closet so I did not fill it just to have a lot of clothes and why in the world did we need two sinks in the bathroom! We rarely are in the bathroom getting ready at the same time, never have been that type of couple. My focus changed to look at our needs since disability is part of our lifestyle. Junior fusses at me because I want the house to be comfortable in case we have company which is not a common occurrence for us. Still I would like it to be comfortable for the rare time someone stops in. Slowly our/my focus went from having a flashy home to a functional home and in God's divine ways He has been teaching me to open my heart to serve others in a quieter way than I have in the past. Right now I am trying to balance my prayer requests for my health, to live a quality of life that allows me to give to Junior, to be open to loving others with my prayers, my words and even to touch them in person when possible. In a moment of silliness I thought about bringing a smile to others during my day and wrote that as a status update on Facebook. I was surprised that those words did bring a smile to others as I received responses back to that status update. My desire of late is to ask God to put me, my day even my life to His glorious use. I used to think being of use meant working as an adviser to teens, going on mission trips, setting up speakers for the remarried workshop etc. Those were good ways to serve, today though I seek the quieter ways to serve, give a much needed hug to someone, be a bit silly to cheer someone up, sit with Junior in the ER when his shoulder was hurting him immensely. I love sharing the giggles I see on Facebook in the hopes they bring a smile to others and passing along Scripture passages I find inspiration to walk with God again that day. As I ponder this I ask God am I more God centered than I am self centered? I recall prayers during the week asking for guidance on how to cope with Parkinson's Disease, how to eat healthier, to show me how to exercise for my disease. My desire is to live a good quality of life, my Mom's death still comes to mind 18 years later, she could hardly walk from one chair to the next in the front room due to her excessive smoking, it bothered me. Is my sole reason for being healthy due to fear? After I ask that question, I look back on my life, I have ate rather healthy for the most part, better in these last few years. I have walked for exercise most of my life along with other forms of exercises here and there. God shows me keeping my body in shape not for my looks but for my body's best performance has been my goal. In my older years I find I want to do as much as I am able to for God's glory and He is teaching me where to be of use for Him and with the ability I have which also includes my physical health. As I end this my prayer is one I have been praying for awhile, "put me this day, my entire life to Your glorious use. I love You, Lord" May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet