October 26, 2017

Greetings My Friend,

Recently I was pondering how Junior and I are a team and the older we get we are more than a team, at this point we are able to operate as a whole because what I can't do he can and vice versa. As I pondered this I found myself in prayer thanking God about how Junior and I are able to make each other whole due to the way we are able to help each other. As I was thanking God a verse out of Ecclesiastes 4:12 came to me, I believe that God placed that thought in my mind. "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; a threefold cord is not quickly broken." I have learned through the years the ideal order in a marriage is God first, the marriage 2nd and life will flow from there. Junior and I invited God into our marriage on our honeymoon, we started praying as a couple. I learned how to pray not using flowery words like I heard at church but from my heart. Since Junior and I are in a second marriage due to divorce we know the brokenness that divorce is. We committed to each other from the start that there was no out other than death and then we began praying to stay together and grow with God at the center of our marriage. For me I generally ask God to teach me to be the wife that Junior needs, not what I feel a wife is but search for Junior's needs. The only way I can do this is by opening my heart to God and allowing Him to change my thinking then start seeking Junior's highest good. God has been faithful teaching me that if Junior wants to go to the ER room alone, it is not a reflection on me to stay out. For 19 years whenever Junior needed care he took care of his problem on his own. When Junior cut his thumb a couple a years ago on the way to the hospital I called my sister and asked if her and her husband if they could pick me up and stay at their place until Junior was done at the hospital. Of course I was concerned but....Junior had to deal with all his emotions on his own before he was willing for me to enter into his pain. At home I changed his bandages, and supported him as he needed. He went to wound care on his own, once in awhile I went along and waited in the waiting room if we had other errands. When he needed his hernia surgery, I went in to kiss him as he was taken in for surgery. Afterwards I sat with him, at one point he said it was nice having me with him. 19 years when he was comfortable. God then reminded me about two becoming one which is where my thoughts had started. God showed me that we became one through the years of living and asking God to guide us as a couple. When we are young it seems "sweet" but....I remember questioning where did "I" come into the equation. In my first marriage I never ever felt one with my husband, my girlfriends were closer to me than he was. I had not seen a situation where a man and a woman were content with each other. I thought it was a fantasy to be honest. Today though I understand that it is possible for a husband and wife to be best friends. If I would have loved Junior the way I loved in my first marriage, I would have fussed all over him, cried when he cursed me out for bothering him. God taught me though to pull back, to let Junior relax more in the relationship and then one day he was good with me sitting quietly beside him in the ER. Learning to quiet my heart, listening to God's voice and loving Junior the way he needed to be loved has opened the door to "a threefold cord is not quickly broken." May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet