January 29, 2011
Greetings My Friend,
Love is on my heart today. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I guess I am thinking about love. I have loved 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
As I live alongside of Junior, I find that I begin to want to not have my own way just for the sake of winning, being number one etc. I find that I want his best and what is best for the relationship more than me having my own way all the time. As much as I’ve been told “it’s not all about you” I find that I truly don’t enjoy when life is all about me. When we are blending and moving along in harmony there is a true peace that resides within me.
I pray for our marriage a whole lot. We both know marriage turned sour is a real sad moment, so we strive to live as God teaches us to live in harmony. For me, I pray for our marriage pretty much each day.
My prayer goes something like this: “Father thank you for this marriage. Teach me to be teachable and teach me to be the wife Junior needs. I don’t want to be a cookie cutter mold of a wife, but the one Junior needs. Teach me to be the wife, friend, and lover and companion my husband needs. Open my eyes and heart to him. Help me to see the good parts and not focus on his annoying traits. Teach me to honor and respect him. Lord, I am clueless as to what respect looks like, so help me to do this. When I disrespect him I hurt, so help me to respect him. Teach me to be sensitive to him. Big strong muscles, soft tender heart and teach me to seek his highest good. I pray you will protect us, hold us close. Teach us to be faithful and fruitful, first to you and then to each other. Lead us, guide us and direct us for your kingdom and glory.”
God has been so faithful to my request. We are each other’s best friend and that is so wonderful. I don’t worry about Junior making me do things I truly don’t want to do. If something scares me, he backs off. Sometimes he will push me and if I put up enough of a fuss, he won’t make me do it. These days though, if he insists I do something that is uncomfortable, I will try before I say “no” because I know that he won’t make me do something I can’t or don’t feel fairly comfortable with.
As we have entered into marriage and have been married, I’ve found that my role as a wife is to watch after my man’s heart. At our wedding the Minister told the story about a woman not being created from the head to rule over her or the foot to trample her, but the rib to stand beside the man. I learned that we were created next to the heart, the bones that protect the heart and my job is to protect my man’s heart.
In some ways, I think that is why as a woman I find I want to have a comfortable home for him. When we were first married, we worked a three hour difference in our shifts. I left Junior notes so when he came home he “felt me”. I made myself write about how I admired him. He loved it. It also helped me to quit focusing on his bad habits. The more I wrote about what I liked the harder it was for me to be constantly frustrated with him.
Comfortable home brings to mind that for Junior a comfortable home is not a spotless home. He likes a home that is lived in, a little clutter etc. If I am to make a comfortable home to some extent then I need to be sensitive to what he likes. I live there as well and I need to balance my need for a spotless home with Junior’s need for a little clutter. As we move along in this marriage, I am finding that I can then focus on other things if I am able to balance out perfectly spotless with a little clutter.
In our re-marriage classes we learned that it was important to date. It is vital for the relationship. They also taught us that dates don’t have to be expensive. We quickly learned that an evening of grocery shopping was a date for us. We loved to walk the aisles together, finding what we needed and sometimes we even stole kisses in the aisles. When we worked we did not watch TV. We loved to rent a movie on the weekends and found that to be a wonderful date. We un-wound from the work week and enjoyed a movie together.
I have also found that I needed to be sensitive to what Junior likes to do. Dates could not always be only what I wanted. I needed to enter into some of his man stuff. I like a stroll through the mall and Junior likes a night at the gun range. In another life I hated Home Depot runs. In this marriage, I love it. Junior is so cute. Sometimes I happen upon him playing with tools. He is like a kid as he holds a tool and play acts with it. I would miss these types of precious moments if I never allowed myself to enter into his fun.
“Two become one” comes to mind. As I read the Bible I learn my roles as a woman. I am a helpmate and I love that. As I learn to enter into Junior’s man stuff, I find a wonderful depth in marriage I never knew could exist.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
January 22, 2011
Greetings My Friend,
I struggle a whole lot with wanting to be perfect. Even in my faith journey I want to be perfect. If we accept Jesus’ death on the cross and His resurrection, then we need to realize that there is no way can we ever be perfect enough. If we were perfect then we would not have a need for a Savior who would give His life as a ransom for ours.
I have also struggled with sin. I felt justified in many of my sins. My bitterness to me was a natural consequence to all the abuse I suffered. My fear and dislike of men was justified, men hurt, so how can I trust? I felt like “doesn’t God understand” the pain in my life? Doesn’t God understand my fears? I did not think He did understand, how He would know, he never lived among us and faced the struggles we have faced. That was my thinking.
Pain piled up in my life. Everywhere I turned, I felt pain. I had physical pain, emotional pain and life to me was so difficult to live. I had moments where I would not go out the front door, life hurt too much and I was going to make someone unhappy with the way I am. In some ways that is how I have felt the last two years. Jesus has made me to see that He loves me, even if the ones around me don’t. A lot of my strength comes in the ugliness of the cross. It is there I see that all sin, white lies to me tiny sin is ugly to God. It is there that I marvel at God’s provision for us by sending His Son to redeem us.
As I am reading through the Bible, I come across Jesus’ genealogy. It is there that I see who the ancestor’s of our Savior were. I am focused at this point on the women that were mentioned. Many of the women were unsavory women. Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and slept with her father-in-law. When her husband died, by law his brother was to sleep with her and give her an heir to carry on her husband’s line. Her father-in-law gave one son and when he died the third son was too young. He held back the third son and never sent him to Tamar. Finally Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and a son was conceived when her father-in-law procured her services.
There is Rahab. She was a prostitute. She hid spies for Israel when they were spying out the land for occupation. Because she came to the aid of this foundling country she was saved and even became in direct line with Jesus. Ruth was great grandmother to King David. She lost her husband. There was no other man to help her have a child in the family. She loved her mother-in-law enough to go live in her country and give her own up. She was of foreign descent. When they moved back to Israel, a family member, a redeemer married Ruth. Finally there was Bathsheba. King David saw her on the roof bathing, decided he wanted her. He called for her and they slept together. A child was conceived. When Bathsheba told King David that she was pregnant, King David had her husband murdered and then took her as his wife. The child died. They later gave birth to Solomon who became a great King.
Most of these women had unsavory backgrounds. Most of them would have been shunned by their fellow citizens. All of them are ancestors to our Lord. In His background were people who did not do good things. I mentioned the women because I am a woman. There were men who were unsavory as well.
As I read the genealogy, I found myself feeling a sense of comfort. I found that I can never be perfect. I again find myself looking at the cross. Our Savior was willing to enter into our sin infested lives. He lived among us. He laughed, He cried, He loved and He felt every pain, emotional and physical pain we have. I am always sad when I ponder what He endured on the cross, before He even was nailed to the cross. I begin to find hope rising within me as I feel His last breath leave Him. I have such hope when I in my mind’s eye see once more that He has risen from the grave. At that point…..I feel Easter, Resurrection Sunday over and over in my heart.
I also learn that I am not perfect, can never be until heaven. I find myself giving me grace more I find myself giving grace to others. I have a deep desire to love as I have been loved by God and to reach out with the hope I have and share what I have learned.
I may have had sex before marriage, did drugs, and drank too much, lost my temper when I should not have etc. In Jesus though I am forgiven I am made new and such hope resides in me that I had never known before. As I embrace this hope I find that I am changing. I believe it is the Holy Spirit teaching me how to live a better life. I also find comfort that even with all of this I will fall down from time to time. At that point I almost sense God picking me up, dusting me off and sending me on my way again.
Where is your hope? Is it material possessions? Is it money? Is it family?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
I struggle a whole lot with wanting to be perfect. Even in my faith journey I want to be perfect. If we accept Jesus’ death on the cross and His resurrection, then we need to realize that there is no way can we ever be perfect enough. If we were perfect then we would not have a need for a Savior who would give His life as a ransom for ours.
I have also struggled with sin. I felt justified in many of my sins. My bitterness to me was a natural consequence to all the abuse I suffered. My fear and dislike of men was justified, men hurt, so how can I trust? I felt like “doesn’t God understand” the pain in my life? Doesn’t God understand my fears? I did not think He did understand, how He would know, he never lived among us and faced the struggles we have faced. That was my thinking.
Pain piled up in my life. Everywhere I turned, I felt pain. I had physical pain, emotional pain and life to me was so difficult to live. I had moments where I would not go out the front door, life hurt too much and I was going to make someone unhappy with the way I am. In some ways that is how I have felt the last two years. Jesus has made me to see that He loves me, even if the ones around me don’t. A lot of my strength comes in the ugliness of the cross. It is there I see that all sin, white lies to me tiny sin is ugly to God. It is there that I marvel at God’s provision for us by sending His Son to redeem us.
As I am reading through the Bible, I come across Jesus’ genealogy. It is there that I see who the ancestor’s of our Savior were. I am focused at this point on the women that were mentioned. Many of the women were unsavory women. Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and slept with her father-in-law. When her husband died, by law his brother was to sleep with her and give her an heir to carry on her husband’s line. Her father-in-law gave one son and when he died the third son was too young. He held back the third son and never sent him to Tamar. Finally Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and a son was conceived when her father-in-law procured her services.
There is Rahab. She was a prostitute. She hid spies for Israel when they were spying out the land for occupation. Because she came to the aid of this foundling country she was saved and even became in direct line with Jesus. Ruth was great grandmother to King David. She lost her husband. There was no other man to help her have a child in the family. She loved her mother-in-law enough to go live in her country and give her own up. She was of foreign descent. When they moved back to Israel, a family member, a redeemer married Ruth. Finally there was Bathsheba. King David saw her on the roof bathing, decided he wanted her. He called for her and they slept together. A child was conceived. When Bathsheba told King David that she was pregnant, King David had her husband murdered and then took her as his wife. The child died. They later gave birth to Solomon who became a great King.
Most of these women had unsavory backgrounds. Most of them would have been shunned by their fellow citizens. All of them are ancestors to our Lord. In His background were people who did not do good things. I mentioned the women because I am a woman. There were men who were unsavory as well.
As I read the genealogy, I found myself feeling a sense of comfort. I found that I can never be perfect. I again find myself looking at the cross. Our Savior was willing to enter into our sin infested lives. He lived among us. He laughed, He cried, He loved and He felt every pain, emotional and physical pain we have. I am always sad when I ponder what He endured on the cross, before He even was nailed to the cross. I begin to find hope rising within me as I feel His last breath leave Him. I have such hope when I in my mind’s eye see once more that He has risen from the grave. At that point…..I feel Easter, Resurrection Sunday over and over in my heart.
I also learn that I am not perfect, can never be until heaven. I find myself giving me grace more I find myself giving grace to others. I have a deep desire to love as I have been loved by God and to reach out with the hope I have and share what I have learned.
I may have had sex before marriage, did drugs, and drank too much, lost my temper when I should not have etc. In Jesus though I am forgiven I am made new and such hope resides in me that I had never known before. As I embrace this hope I find that I am changing. I believe it is the Holy Spirit teaching me how to live a better life. I also find comfort that even with all of this I will fall down from time to time. At that point I almost sense God picking me up, dusting me off and sending me on my way again.
Where is your hope? Is it material possessions? Is it money? Is it family?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, January 14, 2011
January 15, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
“Turn and Face” is a phrase that is playing around in my brain lately. I heard it for the first time in a sermon about 10 years ago. The minute I heard it I started playing it in my thoughts and it comes back to me frequently.
I think first of all of bullies. Over and over I have heard that until you “turn and face” a bully, they will continue to pick on you. Most often they will leave you alone if you go toe to toe with them and bop them right back. Bullies are more interested in scaring you than anything else. If you fight back, they tend to back down and will leave you alone.
One of the things I am seeing as I read through the Bible is that the Israelites’ often look back at where they came from. I see it in the Psalms frequently. I also see it in the New Testament. Stephen as he was being accused went back through the history of his culture. Paul often repeated how he came to faith in Jesus. Paul also talked about the past and Jewish history when he was being accused of the various crimes the Jewish leaders accused him of.
I am learning that in order to move forward it is important to look back and to see where you were. It does a couple of things. First by looking back, you can see that God has always been there. For me, I see the times God was faithful, even though I did not have a true faith walk. Those moments help me to see that God cares, will help, has helped me basically I learn that God will not “leave me or forsake me.” That gives me such courage. I am not alone. I feel alone a lot. When I allow God to “lead, guide and direct” me, I am able to move through life so much better. Next I begin to learn not to do certain things. As I look back and see what was not working, I begin to learn new ways to handle life. God seems to put on my heart the changes I need to make.
For years I felt a victim to what happened to me. I was and I also had a hard time letting go of hurt, anger and the list goes on. God is teaching me to let go of being a victim. Do I fall back, oh yes I do! Still I am moving forward. Knowing that I am a child of the King, of the Most High God helps me too. If I am a child of the King…..I am loved, wanted and I even am trusted to do things. To me that feels wonderful.
“Turn and Face…” I think again. If I don’t look, I shut the door. If I shut the door what am I closing? Am I truly facing the struggle? If I look, ponder and talk to God about what I see, what hurts I find myself moving out of despair into hope. Hope truly motivates me. If I have hope then I am able to face all kinds of things.
“Fake it till you make it.” That phrase is another one that I’ve played with for years. In that I learned to bluster my way through life. For the longest time I thought it helped me. As I look back I find that it did not really help me. I faked courage when I had none. I faked happiness when I was miserable and frankly I found no comfort. I learned to put on a “happy” face when inside I was miserable. I sounded so tough and actually I had no courage, but hey I sounded good!
These days I find more comfort in “Turn and face.” Until I look the enemy in the eye, I find myself running from him. Until I see what habits are contributing to my problem, then I can’t move away from the struggle. I tend to look back on my whole life a lot. I see where Dad used to pound on me, on all of us really. I see Mom and her caustic comments again. I am also made to look at what Mom and Dad went through. When I do that I find compassion inside of me instead of anger, bitterness, hurt and that list goes on.
Dad had polio. His parents walked out on us, leaving Mom with three small children. Mom was in charge of selling the trailer we lived in; packing the belongings into a car that was a problem. When the engine was turned off it took several hours to turn it back on again. Mom had to take three small children to the bathroom on our trip from Colorado back to Michigan. That was a 36hr drive. Mom had to help Dad into the bathroom. He was now in a wheel chair. Mom had to go get the food wherever we stopped to eat, Dad could not help.
Once we re-settled in Michigan, Mom went to work. Dad eventually taught himself how to walk and found a job. Money was always a struggle for them. The church was always there helping us in some fashion or other. Mom’s mother, a widow raising a son was helping us out as well.
Part of my looking back has been looking at how beat up we were. As I look though God has taught me to see what Mom and Dad had to deal with and in that I find such compassion.
God has been so faithful. As I pray I lift up people in my life that I struggle with. I pray “teach me to love those I find difficult to love.” He has taught me to be forgiving of my parents, my ex, and so many more people through the years. In this prayer, I find that I am able to let go of hurtful moments and to move on in life. Sometimes I do need an assist as in counseling, an accountability group etc. Again, I am moving forward.
Lately I ponder what would my life be like without Jesus. In the past the pain of life crippled me. I found it hard to get out of bed, to go out the front door and face life in general. Now I still know great pain, I’ve been struggling for a few years. I am in counseling again and again I am moving forward. With Jesus though, I find myself moving forward, even in great pain. That is the hope I have, Jesus and in Him I am able to face life, to be the weird mother, sister etc. I am able to write a book, to settle into a new state a new house and even make friends. My friends teach me I am lovable, wanted and useful. That helps me so much.
Who have you forgiven lately? Is it time?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
“Turn and Face” is a phrase that is playing around in my brain lately. I heard it for the first time in a sermon about 10 years ago. The minute I heard it I started playing it in my thoughts and it comes back to me frequently.
I think first of all of bullies. Over and over I have heard that until you “turn and face” a bully, they will continue to pick on you. Most often they will leave you alone if you go toe to toe with them and bop them right back. Bullies are more interested in scaring you than anything else. If you fight back, they tend to back down and will leave you alone.
One of the things I am seeing as I read through the Bible is that the Israelites’ often look back at where they came from. I see it in the Psalms frequently. I also see it in the New Testament. Stephen as he was being accused went back through the history of his culture. Paul often repeated how he came to faith in Jesus. Paul also talked about the past and Jewish history when he was being accused of the various crimes the Jewish leaders accused him of.
I am learning that in order to move forward it is important to look back and to see where you were. It does a couple of things. First by looking back, you can see that God has always been there. For me, I see the times God was faithful, even though I did not have a true faith walk. Those moments help me to see that God cares, will help, has helped me basically I learn that God will not “leave me or forsake me.” That gives me such courage. I am not alone. I feel alone a lot. When I allow God to “lead, guide and direct” me, I am able to move through life so much better. Next I begin to learn not to do certain things. As I look back and see what was not working, I begin to learn new ways to handle life. God seems to put on my heart the changes I need to make.
For years I felt a victim to what happened to me. I was and I also had a hard time letting go of hurt, anger and the list goes on. God is teaching me to let go of being a victim. Do I fall back, oh yes I do! Still I am moving forward. Knowing that I am a child of the King, of the Most High God helps me too. If I am a child of the King…..I am loved, wanted and I even am trusted to do things. To me that feels wonderful.
“Turn and Face…” I think again. If I don’t look, I shut the door. If I shut the door what am I closing? Am I truly facing the struggle? If I look, ponder and talk to God about what I see, what hurts I find myself moving out of despair into hope. Hope truly motivates me. If I have hope then I am able to face all kinds of things.
“Fake it till you make it.” That phrase is another one that I’ve played with for years. In that I learned to bluster my way through life. For the longest time I thought it helped me. As I look back I find that it did not really help me. I faked courage when I had none. I faked happiness when I was miserable and frankly I found no comfort. I learned to put on a “happy” face when inside I was miserable. I sounded so tough and actually I had no courage, but hey I sounded good!
These days I find more comfort in “Turn and face.” Until I look the enemy in the eye, I find myself running from him. Until I see what habits are contributing to my problem, then I can’t move away from the struggle. I tend to look back on my whole life a lot. I see where Dad used to pound on me, on all of us really. I see Mom and her caustic comments again. I am also made to look at what Mom and Dad went through. When I do that I find compassion inside of me instead of anger, bitterness, hurt and that list goes on.
Dad had polio. His parents walked out on us, leaving Mom with three small children. Mom was in charge of selling the trailer we lived in; packing the belongings into a car that was a problem. When the engine was turned off it took several hours to turn it back on again. Mom had to take three small children to the bathroom on our trip from Colorado back to Michigan. That was a 36hr drive. Mom had to help Dad into the bathroom. He was now in a wheel chair. Mom had to go get the food wherever we stopped to eat, Dad could not help.
Once we re-settled in Michigan, Mom went to work. Dad eventually taught himself how to walk and found a job. Money was always a struggle for them. The church was always there helping us in some fashion or other. Mom’s mother, a widow raising a son was helping us out as well.
Part of my looking back has been looking at how beat up we were. As I look though God has taught me to see what Mom and Dad had to deal with and in that I find such compassion.
God has been so faithful. As I pray I lift up people in my life that I struggle with. I pray “teach me to love those I find difficult to love.” He has taught me to be forgiving of my parents, my ex, and so many more people through the years. In this prayer, I find that I am able to let go of hurtful moments and to move on in life. Sometimes I do need an assist as in counseling, an accountability group etc. Again, I am moving forward.
Lately I ponder what would my life be like without Jesus. In the past the pain of life crippled me. I found it hard to get out of bed, to go out the front door and face life in general. Now I still know great pain, I’ve been struggling for a few years. I am in counseling again and again I am moving forward. With Jesus though, I find myself moving forward, even in great pain. That is the hope I have, Jesus and in Him I am able to face life, to be the weird mother, sister etc. I am able to write a book, to settle into a new state a new house and even make friends. My friends teach me I am lovable, wanted and useful. That helps me so much.
Who have you forgiven lately? Is it time?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, January 7, 2011
January 8, 2011
Greetings My Friend,
“Two shall become one.” I’m thinking about husband and wife, men and women type thoughts. This line has always been a puzzle to me. It also intrigues me. Somewhere deep inside of me I think I have always known there is a specialness of a man and a woman joined in marriage.
Another verse I often find comforting is “a cord of three strands is not easily broken.” The three mean to me anyway, Father, husband and wife. As the couple weave themselves into God’s image, ways, they stand firmer and able to withstand the trials that life seems to offer each of us. The husband and wife are a team, I like that too. They work together for the common good.
As I went through Divorce Recovery I learned that in marriage the order should be, God, the relationship and life will settle in an orderly way after that. God always needs to be first. He then will guide the couple to love each other, their children and people after that. I have found this to be true. When I ask God to teach me to be what Junior needs, I am amazed at the lessons I learn. As I struggled through curb side shopping, lawn art and such, God kept pointing me to look at Junior’s heart. I discovered the tender heart my husband has. I also learned that I loved this man even more because of his wonderful heart.
I struggled for a life time to realize that men had feelings. I struggled to understand them period. They were an oddity to me. To me men had no feelings, were crass, crude and rude. My son brought the first inkling that males were different, not mean, crude and rude. The senior high boys were so sensitive. They struggled to ask a girl for a date, when the relationship went sour etc. Those boys were the second inkling I had that yes men were rough, tough and sometimes crude but also I saw tenderness, compassion and genuine concern as well.
I also knew on some level how much I wanted a man to protect me, to hold me tenderly, to look up to and to love me. I think God builds within each of us a desire to be loved and wanted. Women want to be cherished, men want to be respected. I love it when Junior will come to my rescue, sometimes it is a spider or sometimes it is when he firmly tells another person no on my behalf. Junior, he is so confident of my love lately that he will tell people that, “until I met him, I never had it so good, someone so wonderful.” Somewhere in there he feels my respect and awe of him as a man.
As we work on the house Junior loves when I will sit near him. I talk to him about life, about what he is doing. Sometimes I just sit quietly by him. He seems to love that I am near. I sense he loves making, doing for me. He likes fixing on the house so it is comfortable for me/us.
I never realized the gifts a man gives. Yes, I understand when I get flowers, but I am finding that I am often given gifts that aren’t in a wrapping of sorts. Junior loves to cut flowers out of the yard and brings them in to me. Often they are there when I get up in the morning. Junior enjoys opening the car door for me. He really likes to do it. He loves to bring me gifts from yard sales and such. Junior gives me gifts all the time.
If I was the sort that only wanted expensive, store bought gifts, then I would miss so many of Junior’s gifts that he gives me. When we were first married, I still was involved with the senior high teens. Sunday mornings, Junior would step behind me as I talked to the kids. He wanted me to do what I was gifted at and did not want to be center stage so to speak. Even in my writing, Junior wants me to be what God is creating me to be. He encourages me, listens to me as I read what I write. Junior wants my best and that feels ever so wonderful.
Junior recognizes my talents, my abilities and then encourages me in them. I have my strong points that I bring to this marriage. As Junior allows me to be me, I find a desire to allow Junior to be Junior. He brings a creative, tenderness to our marriage. Junior thinks outside the box. I think inside the box. We are very different people and yet we blend together in wonderful ways.
Junior likes to shoot guns, I’d rather not. I do though because he is willing to go for a walk, to go shopping etc. I find Home Depot to be much more fun these days because he is so willing to enter into things I love to do. As I move along in this marriage, I am finding that we are truly becoming one. It feels ever so wonderful to have someone who wants my best, who thinks I am the most beautiful, awesome gift in his life. The more I am loved on my terms, the more I want to meet and love Junior on his terms.
I believe that Junior sets the pace for our life and to be honest, I love it. As Eve was Adam’s helpmate, I am finding that I truly love being Junior’s helpmate. I truly love making sure we eat right, have the house in order and keep track of the details of our life. I love Junior’s big picture dreams. As we slowly get the house in order to live in, it is Junior who makes sure the wiring, the plumbing and the cosmetic changes happen. Once those are in order, I will decorate and try to make our home a comfort to him.
My question to you is, are you letting your man be the man God is creating him to be? Do you accept that he is not the same as you only different equipment?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
“Two shall become one.” I’m thinking about husband and wife, men and women type thoughts. This line has always been a puzzle to me. It also intrigues me. Somewhere deep inside of me I think I have always known there is a specialness of a man and a woman joined in marriage.
Another verse I often find comforting is “a cord of three strands is not easily broken.” The three mean to me anyway, Father, husband and wife. As the couple weave themselves into God’s image, ways, they stand firmer and able to withstand the trials that life seems to offer each of us. The husband and wife are a team, I like that too. They work together for the common good.
As I went through Divorce Recovery I learned that in marriage the order should be, God, the relationship and life will settle in an orderly way after that. God always needs to be first. He then will guide the couple to love each other, their children and people after that. I have found this to be true. When I ask God to teach me to be what Junior needs, I am amazed at the lessons I learn. As I struggled through curb side shopping, lawn art and such, God kept pointing me to look at Junior’s heart. I discovered the tender heart my husband has. I also learned that I loved this man even more because of his wonderful heart.
I struggled for a life time to realize that men had feelings. I struggled to understand them period. They were an oddity to me. To me men had no feelings, were crass, crude and rude. My son brought the first inkling that males were different, not mean, crude and rude. The senior high boys were so sensitive. They struggled to ask a girl for a date, when the relationship went sour etc. Those boys were the second inkling I had that yes men were rough, tough and sometimes crude but also I saw tenderness, compassion and genuine concern as well.
I also knew on some level how much I wanted a man to protect me, to hold me tenderly, to look up to and to love me. I think God builds within each of us a desire to be loved and wanted. Women want to be cherished, men want to be respected. I love it when Junior will come to my rescue, sometimes it is a spider or sometimes it is when he firmly tells another person no on my behalf. Junior, he is so confident of my love lately that he will tell people that, “until I met him, I never had it so good, someone so wonderful.” Somewhere in there he feels my respect and awe of him as a man.
As we work on the house Junior loves when I will sit near him. I talk to him about life, about what he is doing. Sometimes I just sit quietly by him. He seems to love that I am near. I sense he loves making, doing for me. He likes fixing on the house so it is comfortable for me/us.
I never realized the gifts a man gives. Yes, I understand when I get flowers, but I am finding that I am often given gifts that aren’t in a wrapping of sorts. Junior loves to cut flowers out of the yard and brings them in to me. Often they are there when I get up in the morning. Junior enjoys opening the car door for me. He really likes to do it. He loves to bring me gifts from yard sales and such. Junior gives me gifts all the time.
If I was the sort that only wanted expensive, store bought gifts, then I would miss so many of Junior’s gifts that he gives me. When we were first married, I still was involved with the senior high teens. Sunday mornings, Junior would step behind me as I talked to the kids. He wanted me to do what I was gifted at and did not want to be center stage so to speak. Even in my writing, Junior wants me to be what God is creating me to be. He encourages me, listens to me as I read what I write. Junior wants my best and that feels ever so wonderful.
Junior recognizes my talents, my abilities and then encourages me in them. I have my strong points that I bring to this marriage. As Junior allows me to be me, I find a desire to allow Junior to be Junior. He brings a creative, tenderness to our marriage. Junior thinks outside the box. I think inside the box. We are very different people and yet we blend together in wonderful ways.
Junior likes to shoot guns, I’d rather not. I do though because he is willing to go for a walk, to go shopping etc. I find Home Depot to be much more fun these days because he is so willing to enter into things I love to do. As I move along in this marriage, I am finding that we are truly becoming one. It feels ever so wonderful to have someone who wants my best, who thinks I am the most beautiful, awesome gift in his life. The more I am loved on my terms, the more I want to meet and love Junior on his terms.
I believe that Junior sets the pace for our life and to be honest, I love it. As Eve was Adam’s helpmate, I am finding that I truly love being Junior’s helpmate. I truly love making sure we eat right, have the house in order and keep track of the details of our life. I love Junior’s big picture dreams. As we slowly get the house in order to live in, it is Junior who makes sure the wiring, the plumbing and the cosmetic changes happen. Once those are in order, I will decorate and try to make our home a comfort to him.
My question to you is, are you letting your man be the man God is creating him to be? Do you accept that he is not the same as you only different equipment?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
April 2, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I’m thinking deeply of my spiritual journey. As I learned there was the sinner’s prayer and prayed it, I find upon hindsight that is the point where my life has really turned around. Part of that journey has been learning who the Holy Spirit is. In Sunday school, I often heard of Him, but I never grasped who He was or what He was. As I learned the ACTSS prayer format, I began praying first to God the Father, then to our Lord Jesus and then to the Holy Spirit. For me that was the only way I was going to figure who He is and meet Him.
Junior and I felt led to move to Virginia. We both started talking about the move at the same time. We were unhappy with the politics in Michigan and all of a sudden we felt we needed to leave. Once settling in Virginia we discovered that there was work we needed to do. We felt led to Haysi, then to Clintwood. We have a need to live our faith in our neighborhood. I felt led to write my book On the Way to Wholeness by Way of ACTSS. As I wrote the book and as I write my blog I often feel the words flowing out of me. Mostly I feel God directing me, the words.
As we were moving out of Haysi, we met B. She tells me often that she feels God sent us to her. She had been praying for a girlfriend and I felt real comfortable to her. I find her to be funny, caring and we both share the sting of abuse and we sometimes need to work through moments together. B and our income levels are at different ends of the spectrum. That’s a marvel about being in the church to me. Some of my friends are nurses, teachers, and doctors alongside of factory workers, unemployed people and the like. B has never asked for money. She tells me that she is not interested in my money and has never asked to borrow any. We just share friendship. I love it. I have acquaintances who tell me that B has only befriended me because I have money. I don’t see that in our relationship at all.
Most days I pray. I try hard to talk to God each day. At this stage in my life, I don’t want to not be close to God. In Jesus, I find hope residing in me. I find I have a purpose and I love having a purpose in life.
I pray, I read my Bible and in that I find my life moving along in love, a desire to please God. I’ve learned that the Holy Spirit is my teacher, my helper. For me to begin to understand and to get to know Him, I’ve started praying to Him directly. For me it was a way to put a “face” on Him.
Through the years, I found that I pictured God as a Father figure. I sort of saw Him and yet not really. The same way with our Lord Jesus, I could almost picture a face, a body and in that I felt the realness. The Holy Spirit was hard for me to understand until I started talking to Him as if He were my friend. I still don’t have a picture of Him, but I feel Him now.
My journey of faith is very real to me. Recently I had someone tell me that I can make my journey to Virginia and our life out here to be what I want it to be. To be honest, it would have been easier to stay in Michigan, find a condo and move across town or even to the other side of the state. As we felt led to move, we kept praying, we weren’t sure about this huge transition we were undertaking. We knew my sister and one couple from Michigan and that’s all. The weather isn’t a whole lot different than Michigan. If I had my way, I’d like to winter in Florida or Arizona. I’m not a huge fan of snow, ice and bitter cold.
We’ve found a home here that is a dream. It is a whole lot of work to make this house what our dreams are. Junior is having a blast working on it. I love all the potential that we will eventually have. Through the process of moving for the second time in two years, I have found myself coming out of depression. As I make new friends and befriend people who are in need, I feel whole and alive. I feel wanted, accepted and loved. My church family has surrounded me in such a wonderful loving way. All this confirms to me we are where God is directing us to be.
In the midst of all this, I sense the Holy Spirit leading me. He is there, I feel Him. Sometimes I marvel at what comes out of my mouth. I reflect later and think, “wow” did I just say that? Sometimes I make a friend like B or J next door and there is that “wow” feeling again. As I pray, sometimes I learn about what our Lord Jesus endured on the cross and I marvel.
One time Junior and I went to Westland Mall to pick up a crock pot. We got an ice cream and sat down on a bench to eat it. A lady sat next to us and she shared about her struggles in marriage. We talked about the hardship of divorce. We talked about a program to help marriages stay together at Ward. We felt we were led to this lady. It was not a fluke, it was God.
Unless you are in a faith journey, it is hard for others to understand. Our move may seem like we wanted it, made it up or whatever. Learning how to “hear” God and His direction is a life long journey. We miss the mark sometimes, sometimes we are spot on. The Holy Spirit is there to guide us and to me, that is a huge comfort. I also marvel that the Holy Spirit is so patient, especially when I don’t get it. He gently guides me until I do.
Do you have a desire that doesn’t make sense to you? Has someone talked to you about Jesus lately and you wonder why? It could be that the Holy Spirit is trying to guide you, open your eyes to God’s redeeming love through His Son Jesus.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
I’m thinking deeply of my spiritual journey. As I learned there was the sinner’s prayer and prayed it, I find upon hindsight that is the point where my life has really turned around. Part of that journey has been learning who the Holy Spirit is. In Sunday school, I often heard of Him, but I never grasped who He was or what He was. As I learned the ACTSS prayer format, I began praying first to God the Father, then to our Lord Jesus and then to the Holy Spirit. For me that was the only way I was going to figure who He is and meet Him.
Junior and I felt led to move to Virginia. We both started talking about the move at the same time. We were unhappy with the politics in Michigan and all of a sudden we felt we needed to leave. Once settling in Virginia we discovered that there was work we needed to do. We felt led to Haysi, then to Clintwood. We have a need to live our faith in our neighborhood. I felt led to write my book On the Way to Wholeness by Way of ACTSS. As I wrote the book and as I write my blog I often feel the words flowing out of me. Mostly I feel God directing me, the words.
As we were moving out of Haysi, we met B. She tells me often that she feels God sent us to her. She had been praying for a girlfriend and I felt real comfortable to her. I find her to be funny, caring and we both share the sting of abuse and we sometimes need to work through moments together. B and our income levels are at different ends of the spectrum. That’s a marvel about being in the church to me. Some of my friends are nurses, teachers, and doctors alongside of factory workers, unemployed people and the like. B has never asked for money. She tells me that she is not interested in my money and has never asked to borrow any. We just share friendship. I love it. I have acquaintances who tell me that B has only befriended me because I have money. I don’t see that in our relationship at all.
Most days I pray. I try hard to talk to God each day. At this stage in my life, I don’t want to not be close to God. In Jesus, I find hope residing in me. I find I have a purpose and I love having a purpose in life.
I pray, I read my Bible and in that I find my life moving along in love, a desire to please God. I’ve learned that the Holy Spirit is my teacher, my helper. For me to begin to understand and to get to know Him, I’ve started praying to Him directly. For me it was a way to put a “face” on Him.
Through the years, I found that I pictured God as a Father figure. I sort of saw Him and yet not really. The same way with our Lord Jesus, I could almost picture a face, a body and in that I felt the realness. The Holy Spirit was hard for me to understand until I started talking to Him as if He were my friend. I still don’t have a picture of Him, but I feel Him now.
My journey of faith is very real to me. Recently I had someone tell me that I can make my journey to Virginia and our life out here to be what I want it to be. To be honest, it would have been easier to stay in Michigan, find a condo and move across town or even to the other side of the state. As we felt led to move, we kept praying, we weren’t sure about this huge transition we were undertaking. We knew my sister and one couple from Michigan and that’s all. The weather isn’t a whole lot different than Michigan. If I had my way, I’d like to winter in Florida or Arizona. I’m not a huge fan of snow, ice and bitter cold.
We’ve found a home here that is a dream. It is a whole lot of work to make this house what our dreams are. Junior is having a blast working on it. I love all the potential that we will eventually have. Through the process of moving for the second time in two years, I have found myself coming out of depression. As I make new friends and befriend people who are in need, I feel whole and alive. I feel wanted, accepted and loved. My church family has surrounded me in such a wonderful loving way. All this confirms to me we are where God is directing us to be.
In the midst of all this, I sense the Holy Spirit leading me. He is there, I feel Him. Sometimes I marvel at what comes out of my mouth. I reflect later and think, “wow” did I just say that? Sometimes I make a friend like B or J next door and there is that “wow” feeling again. As I pray, sometimes I learn about what our Lord Jesus endured on the cross and I marvel.
One time Junior and I went to Westland Mall to pick up a crock pot. We got an ice cream and sat down on a bench to eat it. A lady sat next to us and she shared about her struggles in marriage. We talked about the hardship of divorce. We talked about a program to help marriages stay together at Ward. We felt we were led to this lady. It was not a fluke, it was God.
Unless you are in a faith journey, it is hard for others to understand. Our move may seem like we wanted it, made it up or whatever. Learning how to “hear” God and His direction is a life long journey. We miss the mark sometimes, sometimes we are spot on. The Holy Spirit is there to guide us and to me, that is a huge comfort. I also marvel that the Holy Spirit is so patient, especially when I don’t get it. He gently guides me until I do.
Do you have a desire that doesn’t make sense to you? Has someone talked to you about Jesus lately and you wonder why? It could be that the Holy Spirit is trying to guide you, open your eyes to God’s redeeming love through His Son Jesus.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
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