April 2, 2010

Greetings My Friend,

I’m thinking deeply of my spiritual journey. As I learned there was the sinner’s prayer and prayed it, I find upon hindsight that is the point where my life has really turned around. Part of that journey has been learning who the Holy Spirit is. In Sunday school, I often heard of Him, but I never grasped who He was or what He was. As I learned the ACTSS prayer format, I began praying first to God the Father, then to our Lord Jesus and then to the Holy Spirit. For me that was the only way I was going to figure who He is and meet Him.

Junior and I felt led to move to Virginia. We both started talking about the move at the same time. We were unhappy with the politics in Michigan and all of a sudden we felt we needed to leave. Once settling in Virginia we discovered that there was work we needed to do. We felt led to Haysi, then to Clintwood. We have a need to live our faith in our neighborhood. I felt led to write my book On the Way to Wholeness by Way of ACTSS. As I wrote the book and as I write my blog I often feel the words flowing out of me. Mostly I feel God directing me, the words.

As we were moving out of Haysi, we met B. She tells me often that she feels God sent us to her. She had been praying for a girlfriend and I felt real comfortable to her. I find her to be funny, caring and we both share the sting of abuse and we sometimes need to work through moments together. B and our income levels are at different ends of the spectrum. That’s a marvel about being in the church to me. Some of my friends are nurses, teachers, and doctors alongside of factory workers, unemployed people and the like. B has never asked for money. She tells me that she is not interested in my money and has never asked to borrow any. We just share friendship. I love it. I have acquaintances who tell me that B has only befriended me because I have money. I don’t see that in our relationship at all.

Most days I pray. I try hard to talk to God each day. At this stage in my life, I don’t want to not be close to God. In Jesus, I find hope residing in me. I find I have a purpose and I love having a purpose in life.

I pray, I read my Bible and in that I find my life moving along in love, a desire to please God. I’ve learned that the Holy Spirit is my teacher, my helper. For me to begin to understand and to get to know Him, I’ve started praying to Him directly. For me it was a way to put a “face” on Him.

Through the years, I found that I pictured God as a Father figure. I sort of saw Him and yet not really. The same way with our Lord Jesus, I could almost picture a face, a body and in that I felt the realness. The Holy Spirit was hard for me to understand until I started talking to Him as if He were my friend. I still don’t have a picture of Him, but I feel Him now.

My journey of faith is very real to me. Recently I had someone tell me that I can make my journey to Virginia and our life out here to be what I want it to be. To be honest, it would have been easier to stay in Michigan, find a condo and move across town or even to the other side of the state. As we felt led to move, we kept praying, we weren’t sure about this huge transition we were undertaking. We knew my sister and one couple from Michigan and that’s all. The weather isn’t a whole lot different than Michigan. If I had my way, I’d like to winter in Florida or Arizona. I’m not a huge fan of snow, ice and bitter cold.

We’ve found a home here that is a dream. It is a whole lot of work to make this house what our dreams are. Junior is having a blast working on it. I love all the potential that we will eventually have. Through the process of moving for the second time in two years, I have found myself coming out of depression. As I make new friends and befriend people who are in need, I feel whole and alive. I feel wanted, accepted and loved. My church family has surrounded me in such a wonderful loving way. All this confirms to me we are where God is directing us to be.

In the midst of all this, I sense the Holy Spirit leading me. He is there, I feel Him. Sometimes I marvel at what comes out of my mouth. I reflect later and think, “wow” did I just say that? Sometimes I make a friend like B or J next door and there is that “wow” feeling again. As I pray, sometimes I learn about what our Lord Jesus endured on the cross and I marvel.

One time Junior and I went to Westland Mall to pick up a crock pot. We got an ice cream and sat down on a bench to eat it. A lady sat next to us and she shared about her struggles in marriage. We talked about the hardship of divorce. We talked about a program to help marriages stay together at Ward. We felt we were led to this lady. It was not a fluke, it was God.

Unless you are in a faith journey, it is hard for others to understand. Our move may seem like we wanted it, made it up or whatever. Learning how to “hear” God and His direction is a life long journey. We miss the mark sometimes, sometimes we are spot on. The Holy Spirit is there to guide us and to me, that is a huge comfort. I also marvel that the Holy Spirit is so patient, especially when I don’t get it. He gently guides me until I do.

Do you have a desire that doesn’t make sense to you? Has someone talked to you about Jesus lately and you wonder why? It could be that the Holy Spirit is trying to guide you, open your eyes to God’s redeeming love through His Son Jesus.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet