January 3 2015

January 3 2015 Greetings My Friend The push of the holidays are now over with. I find myself sitting a bit more even taking an extra nap here and there. The day in and day out routines await me and I am happy to embrace them again. The visits were awesome and getting our home in shape was wonderful. Our dogs surprised us and were well behaved with all the people we had over. We find them overall well mannered in general but with company they acted like kids on their best behavior. At one point we wondered if we needed to make them stay outside during our visit. I couldn’t seem to move past an issue I’ve been struggling with Junior on. I prayed asking God to help me accept this quirk in his personality but I found myself upset. I talked a bit too much once more and I realized that he was hitting a spot in me that I felt disrespected. Once I understood this I knew I needed to have a heart to heart talk with Junior. God had softened my heart to the point I did not need to flare in anger over this grievance but I did need to let Junior know how I felt. I was able to tell Junior with loving words what was bothering me and I believe he will respect me. God has shown me that I can have a need and I can voice that need without anger and expect the respect of having my need met. Sometimes God teaches me to let Junior do his own thing and sometimes I sense God teaching me that it is okay to insist on having something I need to be met and taken seriously. I think about “truth in love” again. For me most of my needs in life were met with asking, not being heard and then having my anger flare and maybe then my need might be heard. I am thankful that the anger flaring part of getting my needs met is fairly much gone. Junior has treated me with such respect through the years that today I understand “truth in love” moments more clearly. I also am learning to meet those deep needs Junior has. I believe in my heart that Junior has set the tone for us to have this give and take in our marriage. Junior kept telling me that to be a leader he had to be a servant. At first this seemed strange but the more I read my Bible the more I see Jesus lead in this way. I understand now that we tend to be willing to do things when we are heard, accepted and loved. In all of this I find myself accepting more readily and letting go of fighting to get things my way. I learn new ways of doing things and at times I see Junior changing the way he does things more to the way I do them. This blends us so much that the team in us becomes our normal. “The two shall become one” rings true in my heart. Slowly I see how a man and a woman can blend to be one and I see that as a Christian I become part of the body of Christ. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet