Thursday, May 31, 2018

May 31, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Thirteen years ago I had breast cancer, that was the start of a downward spiral of my health. Radiation beat me up something awful, after the treatments were done I struggled to do most of what I had done easily before radiation then I spiraled down until sitting on the couch, moving to a chair next to the couch wore me out. The last year I worked I struggled to do my job, one I had been in for 11 years. Junior and,  I moved to Virginia, he did all the work because I was too tired to help. God blessed me because He sent me to a wonderful doctor, she helped me one problem at a time. One and a half years ago I needed to use a wheelchair whenever I went anywhere. Today I can walk pushing my walker or a shopping cart for an hour or more. My doctor sent me to a couple of specialists who did little to nothing to help me so she undertook to figure out my problem, I have Parkinson's Disease, started me on PD medication, now I am able to walk, to keep up our home, make dinners and even write. Along the way God has shown me ways to get back some of my cognitive abilities through games, learning how to preserve food, helping Junior plan out what we want in our home we are renovating. God has helped me deal with my allergies more effectively, taught me to do different types of exercises, which in turn helps keep the rigidity of PD at bay. I discovered I slept better in a recliner than I did in bed so now I wake up with very little to no stiffness. There have been days I wondered if all this work was worth the effort, when I saw my PCP yesterday, I knew it was worth the effort as she came over to give me a giant hug. My little miniature poodle died recently, she was an older dog, she had a bum leg, was blind and I took her with me wherever I went around the house and around town. She helped me walk straight when I could not use a shopping cart. I knew I needed another helper so we headed to the pound where we adopted a min pin. She is full of energy with a very sweet personality. I now need to walk her several times a day which is helping me to move about more. I have worked up to where I am able to walk halfway down my country road which excites me. We live on a beautiful mountain full of woods road, the walk is peaceful, beautiful. I am working towards being able to walk the road to its end within the next month. The only real problem I had was I struggled to wake up from my afternoon nap, my PCP suggested I use my CPAP when I take a nap as well as at bedtime. I used it yesterday, I woke up easily, was able to get up easier. It has taken a lot of energy, a lot of persistence to be where I am today, I am grateful. I am grateful God has patiently, lovingly guided my steps, now I plan on using these better days to tell of how God has been helped me, given me quite a bit of my life back. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

May 29, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

I have had a problem with Pope Francis' theology, he has stated that Muslims and Christians worship the same god. We do not worship the same god as the Muslims do, our God states emphatically that He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Ishmael was the son of Abraham but not the son of Abraham and Sara, he was born of Sara's slave woman. The Pope says other things that do not match up with the Bible. I am sad that people believe all that they hear, many false teachings of God's Word abound today. The best way to know if you are being fed garbage or the real thing is to read the Word of God and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts. The Bible also teaches in the end times people will want teaching that "tickles their ears," people want to hear what they want to believe, then they seek out those that will tell them what they want to hear. It is sad. Part of the deception I also see today is how our children are taught completely different things than we were taught when I was growing up. We were taught socialism never lasted, the only people it benefitted was those who ran the government. Today children are taught it is wonderful, even though the nightly news tells of how awful the countries that have it now are. The nightly news tells how cruel Muslim's are around the world, chopping off people's heads, raping young children, women because they do not believe in their god. All that is repeated is "not all Muslim's are that crazy". I see where countries are kicking the Muslim's out, they have overtaken the country then changed the social norms of that country. We want everyone to be nice and get along, the sad fact is people are not kind. God wants each of us to choose Him, He won't make you believe in Him although if you choose not to believe in Him, you choose an eternity in hell, a not so nice place. Many churches are teaching their congregations that everyone will go to heaven, that is not true. Jesus talked about hell more than He talked about heaven, Jesus taught us how to live a holy life. Jesus loved the unlovable, that means a whole lot to me. Jesus taught that the only way to heaven is we must believe He is the son of God, then we can go to heaven. It is rather simple to get into heaven, believe God is God, that "God, sent His only begotten Son into the world that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." This means even if the worst of sinners repent, stop sinning and follow the teachings of the Holy Bible. That means a homosexual can repent, stop their sinful behavior and go to heaven. Even a Muslim can go to heaven if he will believe God is God, Jesus is His Son then begin to live the teachings of the Bible. This gift is open to everyone, it is each person's choice to believe and live in eternity or not believe and live in hell for eternity. My prayer is people will stop choosing to believe any teaching that makes them feel good and start believing God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Thursday, May 24, 2018

May 24, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Today was a definite Parkinson's day for me, then add to that I found myself grappling with some major emotional upheavals. For what ever reason today was a sleepy kind of day for me, as I wake up it is 6:00 in the evening. Junior took Ziva our min pin to get a hysterectomy this morning before I woke up, I was woke up with a call from the Vet's office asking if I still wanted to have the procedure done because she was in heat. I was told she would still appeal to male dogs for awhile longer and if they mounted her Ziva's insides would be injured. After thinking on this a bit I chose to go ahead with the procedure. The Vet's office said it is done frequently, the smaller dogs like she is usually go through this with no problems other than we need to make male dog's stay away from her, since we have 3 males that are still intact although a lot larger I feel they would not be able to harm Ziva. After that I went to my quiet time with the LORD. This time allowed me to focus on God, to settle my thoughts and to begin to prepare for today's agenda. When I finished my quiet time I did some dusting, picked up the kitchen when I realized I needed to lay down so I would be energetic enough to run to the Vet with Junior. Brenda called me telling me about the terrible struggle she is having using the bathroom since radiation but now it has been days since she could go to the bathroom. Throughout the process of her cancer treatments, I kept telling Brenda she needed to talk to her family doctor and quit asking the cancer doctor's for guidance with her health issues. She has been out of treatments for several months and today Brenda decided to call her family doctor. The doctor wanted Brenda to go to the ER immediately, first thing Brenda did was call me to tell me what the doctor told her to do. While telling me what the doctor told her what to do, Brenda was trying to make 4 or 5 other decisions about her impending move, if she should do this or that. I started fussing at Brenda telling her to focus on one problem at a time, she needed to hang up, get to the hospital right now. After each of these major decisions I will get a text stating I am her only friend, she relies on me, then I point her back to Jesus. I have not heard from Brenda as of yet, my guess is she may be admitted. In the mix of these things my niece Alicia's dog died, Molly has been in her life for 9 years or so now. Since Daisy died a few weeks ago I know the difficulty of loosing a beloved pet, it is much like loosing a family member. My heart is breaking for my niece and her family. For whatever reason today I have struggled with extreme exhaustion. I wound up sleeping all afternoon, now I need to see if I can sum up enough energy to be physically active for a couple of hours so I can get to sleep tonight. God will help me to decide what activities I can do so I can sleep. At the end of the day my heart is grateful to be a follower of Jesus, in my brokenness God quiets the hurt in my soul for Brenda, my niece even little Ziva. I am grateful Junior understands my need to slow down some days, he is patient until I am able to get back to functioning again. Parkinson's has taught me only too well, work when I can and sit when I can't. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

May 22, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Saturday I got a phone call from my son, Mike. For the last 6 months to a year our conversations are friendly, easy going, the prior 20 years they were challenging often ending up with one of us hanging up on the other. My divorce was 21 years ago, shortly afterwards I began praying for my children to be healed from the craziness of our family life. Soon after the divorce both of my children became pregnant. My son's wife gave us a daughter, my daughter had a girl as well 2 months later. As soon as I heard about the girls I began praying for them. I wound up marrying Junior the same year the girls were born, he taught me to pray for my ex also. Basically I became a praying woman, God taught me slowly how to let go of pain from the marriage, to love my children, not doing everything to make up for the craziness of our family life. My daughter still is angry, won't talk to me. At this point I accept this, I miss her, God taught me He is all I need, then He taught me how to love Agape fashion as He loves me. I learned buying their love was not going to work, I never was the type to buy love so this was not too hard to learn. I learned when my daughter became pregnant without the father in her life it was not my responsibility to take a turn watching my grandchild every week. I was struggling to learn how to be single, how to be a new wife again, working full time and watching a baby a day or two a week was not something I could do. Eventually God led Junior and I to move from Michigan, a move that did not make our children very happy. My ex kept showing up at the grandchildren's birthday's, the holidays wanting to my best friend. When I saw him, I still had pain, did not have a desire to be best friends with him. I also refused to be goaded into an argument for our children's sake so I hurt a lot but did not know how to make him go away without making a scene. The move allowed me to heal finally. I was able to discover who I was which meant I went from being fearful to being silly, finally settling into a contentment of being a woman who is able to think, to have my own talents. In Virginia, I am accepted loved in ways I have never known. Junior kept encouraging me to have opinions, try new things and most importantly to grow in love with Jesus. As God worked on healing me, He was also working on my son. Mike married his high school sweetheart, had what he thought was a decent marriage, which is much like my life story. I married the only boy I dated, stayed with him 24 years. Mike's marriage broke up, they got together again then broke up again. He had to deal with the same crud I did in many ways so God was working on Mike while He was working on me. We finally are healed, he is now starting a faith journey with his new girlfriend. They are working on Ashley trying to teach her the need forgive what her mother did by leaving. It sounds like Mike's girlfriend Nicole has also had to learn the importance of forgiving, the healing that comes when you learn to let go and let God. God showed me that I can live without my children, that I can enjoy being a mother to fur children, I love being married to Junior, I prayed for him and God gave me Junior who married me within 15 months of my divorce. We knew we were at a higher risk of divorce so God taught us to take relationship classes, associate with other divorced people in a Sunday school class which helped us to be a strong united front. I am not sure if my daughter will ever forgive me, I pray she will. I do know I have her in the best hands though, God's. I will pray for her, Mike, Nichole's relationship and the children until I die. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Saturday, May 19, 2018

May 19, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

I woke up first this morning, something I don't do very often anymore. While I was starting my quiet time with journaling my thoughts Junior woke up. He stretched, said something unrecognizable then the dogs one by one came over to him, to be loved on. With 8 dogs this can be quite a process, he speaks to each one, rubs on each one, then he let Cato out of the cage to take him outside for a potty call and a small walk throughout our property. For me this scene was as beautiful as watching an early morning sun rise. Enjoying the beauty of family life, I went back to my time in the Word. My overall lesson seemed to be to live out my faith. A way to do this was to read the Word, ask the Holy Spirit to teach me the lessons God has for me and apply these lessons to my life. When I had finished reading my Bible my son called me for a phone visit. I asked him about his faith, he told me how Junior taught him a valuable lesson. I found that strange because we have not been in Michigan nor talked to Mike (my son) in sometime. He has been cleaning out his basement, had bags of clothing just sitting around, he said that is when he thought about Junior. Junior sets aside an area where he has a tall laundry basket for charity. When the basket is full, he takes the things to a thrift store, anywhere that helps the disadvantaged. When we lived in Michigan, Junior worked at a place that helped the poor with food and clothes, so Mike took all the bags he had over to that place where Junior worked. Recently we have had a few discussions on how to present the Gospel to people, Junior's style can be rather blunt and to the point. His style speaks well with the type of people he knew as a young man. These people are generally on the fringe of society, their language, way of living is harsh, their speech is harsh, so they "hear" better when the Gospel is given in a no nonsense way. Mike has known Junior's style for a long time now although it was not Junior's words that spoke of the love of Christ, Junior has but it was the way he lived what he believed. As we learned through the years actions speak louder than words. The more we talked, I also saw by having a good understanding of God's principal's I was able to live what I believe. The first lesson I learned as I began my faith journey was to be the same at home as I am out in public. I also believe since Jesus was willing to follow God more than man's ways, that standing up for God's ways is important also. This tells me that if I see something is wrong with the way our government is governing our nation I need to speak up, do what I can to change the laws. I would rather go with the flow, lately though that is not what I want to do. Jesus told the disciples to take a sword with them, which means if we need to defend the Gospel as it is taught that owning a gun is not wrong. By stating my views, voting my values are ways that my actions speak louder than my words. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Thursday, May 17, 2018

May 17, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Lately the distractions keep coming at me, keeping me from my quiet time with God. I get texts from friends who are struggling with life issues, phone calls to help a person sort out her life situations. Sunday mornings I am no longer able to be up, into the Word before I get ready for church, so I study two days on Monday. The general lesson I am learning is keep going back to the Word of God until I am able to read the day's Word in its entirety. Some day's it is later that night, other days I make up a day I lost. I worry sometimes that the hour is late, I need to start the day, get some work done. Then God reminds me again, time spent with Him is not wasted, the work gets done later, still it gets done. Another lesson I am learning a bit late in my life is we are to tell our children of the things God has done in our lives. I see again the huge example of Dad's polio, Mom blamed most of the family problems on the disease, not Dad's life of abuse or how hard it was for her to step up to the plate and become the bread winner in the family. As I look back I understand that God had His hand on my Dad, my family. Looking back I see where God protected me from the hand of my husband, sent help many times only I did not recognize the help I received. Today, I find being thankful for the smallest things in my life teaches me when God is working in my life to protect me from the evils of this world. In being thankful I see talents God has given me, areas where He wants me to work for the spreading of  the Good News. I was never able to connect fully with God until I started reading the Bible daily, for me I read the Bible in a year, each year. The more I read, the more I am able to absorb the lessons, the direction God wants me to go in. I am able to pray and hear when God answers me with His Word. For the third year my dehydrator broke after one years use, even the better quality dehydrator. I had a load of strawberries to dry and I was praying how to save this batch of berries when God placed on my mind to dry them outside in the sun. Next I looked online for solar dehydrating products. I discovered a hanging tier of shelves covered in screen and cloth. This year I am learning to use the sun to dehydrate food for the winter. I also will use the freezer and God had me researching root cellars without digging in the ground. We have a house built on a mountain where we have what I call an underneath. We have 2 small freezers ( apartment sized) that we are not using and God showed me to use those underneath the house as a root cellar along with a plastic cooler . God has been teaching me to depend more on Him, less on man processed, chemical filled foods so we are attempting our first container garden. Since we live in a rural area we can get home grown food, fresh meat from the source to put up for winter. As we get more proficient we will be able to grow and put up our food needs. I love this new to me lifestyle change, that God is teaching me how to do so, then using me to tell others how I am able to take care of our needs and rely less on the government, others for our needs. Slowly our nation has been teaching us to rely more on man than on God. God has provided the land, the bounty of food crops and animals for our needs. He wants us to rely more on Him than on man. We are also to tell how God helps us, sustains us and to reach out to others. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

May 15, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

The morning started off rather well, I grabbed my tea, gave the fur children their treats, got the air diffuser going then I sat down to drink my tea and take my morning medications. I have several people I like to send a sticker to or a GIF online to touch them, to say "I am thinking about you." After I sent them out, I started my quiet time, the first part of my quiet time is when I  journal my thoughts. As I was writing I kept hearing the notification sound on the phone so I checked each one, as they came in, one friend was stressed out over family problems, another friend took her mother to the hospital which was unsettling. I found out where my friend's mother was at then started planning on going. I went to the kitchen, Junior had just ordered gravel, so I then I texted my friend stating it may be awhile before we can get to the hospital. I went back to my journaling, I finished my thoughts and started writing out a prayer to God, when Ziva our new little dog, my therapy dog decided it was time to go for a walk. We were barely down the road when the gravel truck showed up, which was less than half an hour since Junior placed the phone call. Ziva and I returned home, I finished writing my prayer then we got ready to go see our friend Boogie at the hospital. My mind kept mulling over the mornings distractions, my desire to have quiet time the first thing in the morning. I love waking up with God, listening to His voice as I pray then read His Word. This morning though I kept getting interrupted with concerns for special people in my life. Recently I have discovered sometimes I need to deal with what is happening, come back to quiet time later in the day. When Brenda spent the night recently I learned it is more important to be a friend and allow her to talk. Brenda is alone a whole lot so she has a need to talk to share her concerns out loud with someone. I used to try and do quiet time with her there, now I allow her to talk knowing God will be there when I can be quiet and alone with Him. I may have time to do part of my quiet time, write my thoughts, write out my prayer then later when I come back I will be ready to read the Word, write down the passages that speak to me and discern what the Holy Spirit is telling me. I am grateful I had a bit of time with God before I faced the challenges of the day, I usually feel His peace as I deal with my day. We went to see Boogie, she is getting so frail, Debbie is there at her side and I am glad we went to our very good friends. We did a bit of shopping after we left the hospital, I was able to sleep while Junior went into Lowe's to get an air conditioner so when I got home, I did the dishes. I had bought a bucket of strawberries to dehydrate so I took them on the porch to hull them. I loved my porch time, the quietness of the day. When I finished I was able to finish my quiet time. God keeps teaching me it is okay when life disrupts my quiet time, I just need to come back to Him. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Saturday, May 12, 2018

May 12, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

I am thankful for the church I attend, tomorrow is Mother's Day, I know for sure I will get a Mother's Day gift from the church, I have not received a gift, I may or may not receive a card from my children. Nine years ago when we moved to Virginia, I struggled with these Hallmark Holidays, the divorce left me estranged from my children, I finally knew how painful Mother's Day is for those who were never able to have children, lost a child. Not only do I struggle with being separated from my children, I struggle with reconciling my feelings with my own mother. On Facebook people often mention the anniversary of their parents death, feel sad, for me I rarely mention the anniversary of their death add to that I struggle because I am relieved that the disapproval of how I lived my life is gone. I loved my parent's, I remember thinking that since I was the oldest it was my job to take care of my parents, the one time us kids semi came together was we all took turns taking care of them at the end of their lives. I had reconciled all kinds of crazy things my Dad did to us kids by the time he died, I understood how he became the man he was because of the abuse he endured, the fact he left home at 14, joined the military at age 17. Dad repeated a lot of what he grew up with on us kids, he tried to overcome what was done to him, although he knew no other way to raise children than what he grew up with. Mom and Dad showed up for all of our activities, got us to them with the help of neighbors, took us to church but at home the craziness was there, an angry father, a mother who ignored what was going on as she had her face buried in a book. For me, I grew up to repeat a lot of the craziness, live it and pass it on. I read everything I could get my hands on how to be a better parent, I did not realize the Bible had the best help. As I look back, my parents overcame so much. Dad had polio at age 24, the doctor's said Dad would die, he did not, then the doctor's said he would never walk again, he did. We moved back to Michigan in a car that would not start again for a long time if was turned off so we drove straight through back to my Mom's mother's house in Michigan from Colorado, I was 5 my sister 4 and my brother 3 plus Dad was in a wheelchair which meant Mom was in charge getting gas, taking us all to the rest room and getting us food to eat. Mom went to work, Dad was home with us kids. After Dad learned to walk, he found some small paying jobs to help support the family. As I look back on all of that, I marvel at all the obstacles they overcame. Women stayed home in the early 60's while the men worked. Mom did not make what men did doing the same job they did. Eventually they were able to buy a house, with Mom getting the mortgage, at that time women did not get mortgages. In my generation the mother was home when we got home from school, Dad was but he was sleeping since he worked midnights. Mom and Dad were a marvel, yet the stress was always there. I was expected to co parent my siblings, to take care of Dad's needs and when he went back to work I was to get up, make breakfast, lunches for my siblings. I felt overwhelmed with all the responsibilities plus try to get good grades at school. While I made breakfast, lunches, Mom sat in a chair, read the newspaper, then got ready for work. When I got home from school I became Dad's confidant, heard things young children did not need to know about. I was also made to answer bill collector's phone calls. Then there was Dad's anger, he was angry at his childhood, that he could not work to support the family, plus anger just plain anger everywhere. Mom ignored his needs, our needs except the parts where she could be like Harriet Nelson, go to band concerts, watch us sing in the choir. At the end of my life, I see how I became the woman I am not, I am loyal, dedicated, hardworking and compassionate. God has shown me love, given me a 2nd marriage that is very comfortable and even given us a fur family to care for. So Mother's Day will come, the other holiday's throughout the year and at last I enjoy them as they are. I will get a small Mother's Day gift that touches my heart. Today I reflect for a bit, try to focus on who I am in God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Friday, May 11, 2018

May 11, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Since Daisy's death Sunday night my day to day life has been off. For a couple of days I purposely did not do my routines. As I mourned her death I was seeing I needed another baby to help me get about my life with Parkinson's. Daisy knew my needs and adapted to them, I carried her all about the house which helped me be balanced, keeping my lower back in alignment. I loved her warm body snuggled near mine how she would steal water out of my cup. I began searching the internet for a smaller dog than little Daisy. I learned Daisy was not a teacup poodle but a miniature. I thought a teacup poodle would be perfect, I even found one then the price tag was more than I wanted to spend. It also occurred to me that there are lots of rescue dogs around, especially in our area. I am surprised how people will spend big money on a full breed dog, then give them to the pound, drop them off on the side of the road then leave. We got up Thursday with the idea of going to find a rescue, Brenda cut up a newspaper list of pounds in the area so we could find a small dog to be rescued. Then we headed over to Brother Wolf animal rescue to see if they knew of any small dogs that needed to be adopted. Kelly put us in touch with the pound in our area who had a miniature pincher. It was love at first sight when I saw Lilly. She was so friendly, a bit heavier than Daisy by about 2 pounds and very active. While Junior went in to sign the paperwork, I started thinking on the differences between Daisy and Lilly. Daisy was not as active, she was in her senior years, Lilly is 3 years old and extremely active, she appears almost hyper as she scoots around the place. Those 2 pounds felt like a lot while I was carrying her. Junior was not sure she would be good for me although I was sensing that I needed Lilly's activeness, when we first got Cato I watched Junior take Cato out for walks several times a day, I started to think I needed to find a reason to get more walking. Now I knew Lilly would do this for me. I will need to walk her in good weather or bad, more than likely even if it is just to the end of the porch like I did this morning around 3:00. I sensed God was showing me that I have come to a stage of being able to be more active, that my fatigue is not as severe as it was 4 years ago when I got Daisy. Lilly being a minpin means she will not be compared to Daisy as easily. I still miss Daisy like crazy, I also know I need to let Lilly be Lilly. I will have to get more walking in taking Lilly out which means when the weather is bad, I will be out there. I love looking for kindling and wood, this past winter has taught me I won't go looking when the weather is bad. Lilly will make me stay active which in turn helps me keep the Parkinson's progression at bay. I feel blessed to have gained a bit more energy to the point I need to add more exercise to my day. So today I start a new chapter in my life learning to love a new fur baby, being more active and I am thankful to have a little bundle of energy to share in this journey with me. May God bless you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

May 8, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

I have been excited to talk about a trip to Greenville TN Junior and I took, a day trip that excited us. Of course the trip wore us both out, so writing was a bit difficult. Then Sunday night, our precious Daisy died suddenly and our world had been turned upside down. The only other sudden death I have personally experienced was my nephew who was 12 years old at the time 27 years ago. That took us all by surprise. He went away on a science weekend trip with his class and never came home. Daisy, was lovey when we took her to Bible study Sunday night, when we got home she sounded congested each time I carried her anywhere she struggled to breathe. She was in her special spot at the foot of my feet when she   had a spasm so I went to get Junior. She was dying, had foam coming out of her mouth, blood too and stuff coming out of her nose. Junior's grief was so hard that I was finding myself worrying about him, not allowing myself to feel. I thank God for Debbie and Boogie because I called them fairly late in the evening. Both women talked with me until I started to feel my own grief. Their tender words, loving hearts were right there with Junior and I feeling our grief. Daisy had been over to their house with us the night before. She nudged Debbie several times to pet on her, she got down and played with Maddy a few times and Boogie has always treated Daisy as if she was her grandchild. It took me hours to fall asleep Sunday night, I woke up early on Monday and the day was black in my heart. There was no little body to pick up and move when I had to go to the bathroom, to be in my arms helping me walk straight and no little tongue licking off my lotion. Daisy was with me just about 24/7 for the last almost 4 years and I had not realized how close I had grown to this little fur baby. Junior loved her as much as I did, he watched Daisy bring me back to life, to an energy level that has allowed me to function, to clean the house, make us meals. I knew on my 60th birthday I needed something to get me outside of my struggle to come back, it was a gift from God that a lady from church had a little bundle of love to give me. In recent months I started to take Daisy with me just about everywhere, I used her for an emotional and physical therapy dog. When we were out people were drawn to her, stopped to pet her. At church, Daisy would allow me to use her to comfort people. I would put her in someone's arms and she snuggled them until they were content, then I saw her little head peeking around to find me so she could come back into my arms again. She loved wandering down the pew in search of Christy, allowing Terrie to steal her from me for some snuggling. We were becoming a ministry team and then she is gone, just like that. God showed me all kinds of love from Debbie and Boogie, Terrie, our church family and of course our Facebook family. I know that the pain will lesson with time, we will have a little wake for Daisy this weekend given to us by our little Clintwood family Debbie and Boogie, Terri. We will remember her antics, her love and Junior and I will cry and laugh safely in the arms of our beloved little family. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Saturday, May 5, 2018

May 5, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Right now my Sunday school class is studying the book of Ruth. An orphan girl from Israel winds up becoming a king's wife, then an evil man wants to destroy all the Jews in the kingdom. The queens adopted father has instructed the queen not to tell her nationality so she does not. Then when the evil man gets the King to sign a decree to annihilate the Jews the adopted father tells his daughter that she must go to the king about the evil plan. The queen states she could be killed if she approaches the king, then her father reminds her that "she could have been born for a time such as this." This passage speaks to me often, especially when I am finding something distasteful. I am convicted to be in prayer, to call it like I see it with the evil in our land, the world. It is easy to sit around and bemoan the sad state of affairs but to make a stand, state my opinion, vote my conscious, that is another matter. Because I believe God is a God of love, judgement and wrath, I can see when His patience has worn out, I know judgement will follow and if we still don't listen wrath will come. In the last 50 -60 years we have walked completely away from God, we took prayer out of schools, we encouraged different lifestyles spoken against in the Bible and we abort children because the time is not right to have them. I read the Bible, see what God has done when Israel walked away from Him, much of Europe, the middle East have at one time chosen to follow Jesus. As America lets go of its founding father's beliefs, China is rising to be a nation of believers in Jesus. I have met a few Chinese online who are from China and they are thirsty to know Jesus. Many believe even though they are persecuted for their beliefs, are willing to be separated from the world. America once was like this, I feel I need to separate myself, be in the world not of the world. As my strength weakens I repeat this passage, I pray it, then I have a renewed sense of living more for God than for the world's opinion. Thursday was National Day of Prayer, I have been praying for our country for our President, past as well as present President's. I pray our leaders will follow God's ways more than the greediness of the world. I have prayed for years, plan on praying for our country the rest of my life. I pray we get behind the family and support them, encourage couples to stay together, not give up over petty differences. People of older generations were willing to stick marriage out, stayed with one partner their whole lives. I also believe there are some justified reasons to leave a marriage, adultery, abuse are some reasons to break a marriage up, but most marriages today divorce because they got tired of each other. We need leaders in congress more concerned with the needs of the people than getting rich off of the people they serve. They need to be paid a reasonable wage, work 40 hours a week like most Americans. I grew up learning that "Government is for the people, by the people of the people." It is not so today, this grieves me to no end which is why I feel compelled to speak my mind more and more. People tire of all the political stuff, I do as well although, if we ever want to reclaim our country, the God of the Bible, it is time to take action, speak up and be willing to be made fun of, chastised and so on. I have learned I can have an opinion, state it and not answer the dissenter who will not listen. I vote my morals which are based on the Bible's teachings. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Thursday, May 3, 2018

May 3, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Recently I was asked do I know that the Holy Spirit is in me. Some people are able to speak in tongues and feel that means they are filled with the Holy Spirit. I have never been able to speak in tongues, I also know I am able to hear the Holy Spirit's prompting in my heart. As I read the Bible the gift of tongues is a gift, not everyone has this gift. My gift is encouragement, I have been an encourager most of my life even before giving my heart fully to Jesus. I am not good at teaching although I do well with one on one friendships, somewhat of a mentor type of friendship at times. I have developed my ability to hear the Holy Spirit's prompting on my heart as I have read the Bible, year in and year out and in prayer. In the last few years my ability to hear the Holy Spirit has gotten better because of  the  journal process I go through as I study the Bible. I journal my thoughts first, write a prayer to God, then write out the passages I am reading. When I read those passages I find a passage or two sticks out from both the OT and the NT then one of the wisdom books like Psalms, Song of Solomon. I write the passages that speak to me, my heart then afterwards I write a heading, What does the Holy Spirit say. I reread my passages sometimes two or three times, ask the Holy Spirit to help me hear what I am to learn, then I write down what I sense the Holy Spirit is telling me. As I have learned to discern the Holy Spirit's voice on my heart through Bible reading and prayer, I sometimes feel prompted to walk away from a situation, other times I may feel compelled to speak to someone so I am learning to listen then do. In the Psalms through the years I often read a verse that says, "Be still and know that I am God." When I run across it even today, my heart seems to pause, to slow down and reflect. God has been teaching me in my faith journey to listen to the small still voice. I would not have known the Holy Spirit's prompting on my heart without quiet time in the Word of God. Anything I learn from the Holy Spirit will always match up with what the Bible teaches, which is how I know if what I am sensing is right or not. I can't hear God's calling for my life from my Pastor, although he may be able to put me in the right direction. I have to develop the ability to hear by being alone with God. I learned to pray very short prayers at first, "God help me." As I drew closer to God, I could formulate my prayer into a conversation with God. All of this took time, took discipline in the Word. I no longer need to buy a Bible study book to do my quiet time, I started out doing those, since I learned the above journal format I find the Holy Spirit is directing my time in the Word. Very few people find their calling right away, sometimes they will fulfill various job roles within the church, which leads them to what their calling will be. In my older years God has not allowed me to volunteer like I once did. He has had me start a ministry at home on the internet, with people in the community we have moved to. I no longer have a lot of energy to do the work I once did so God has used me at home, being friendly to people when I am out. He has also shown me how to minister to my husband, our fur family of rescues and the more I trust and obey, the more peace I find right at home. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

May 1, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

I have Parkinson's Disease, recently my legs want run all night, all through my naps which means my sleep is disturbed quite a bit. My goal whenever possible is to find something natural to help my symptoms, if I can't or if the natural does not help then I will take medication. I am grateful for online support groups because someone in the group usually has experienced my problem, offer some guidance. The other day I was done attempting to tough out the situation so I asked my online friends for ideas, I received several, one was tonic water, another magnesium. Tonic water will be my last resort since the taste is so nasty. Junior, drinks tonic water daily for his severe leg cramps. I have magnesium spry which has been very helpful for the aches and pains of life, I have used it for arthritis joint pain, muscle cramps and now for my restless legs. My legs quieted down rather quickly which I am grateful for. I may use the spray during the day as well since my legs get moments where they bounce up and down while I sit. The other day I was reading in 2Corinthians when I came across the Apostle Paul's teaching about the thorn in his side, he had asked God to take away the thorn. As I read God's statement to Paul, I found comfort in the reply. " And he said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." For sometime now I have felt a peace about my chronic illness, I have learned God uses me even though I am no longer able to volunteer at church, in the community. I do have a ministry of writing, being a witness when I am out shopping, taking a walk along with praying for people I see online who are in need of prayer. As a believer in Jesus I also know how I handle my life is a witness as well, as I read God's reply to Paul, I discovered how I respond to my chronic illness is a huge witness as well. Recently I found myself anxious over the loss of control in situations involving my walker. If I am in a crowded place, have to figure out how to make room for the width of the walker, I get anxious. I have started taking my dog Daisy with my, she is 7 lbs. of fur who is very still, accepting of people petting her. I can use her to balance myself when my walker is not with me at the stores to get in and out of the restroom, I snuggle her as my anxiety flares. Daisy also has become a ministry, people love to stop me talk about Daisy's sweet disposition, about their pets. When I went in for a 3 month checkup recently I told my PCP about my anxiety, she upped my dose of anxiety/depression medication which has helped me. I now am able to be out and about handling myself with confidence. I willingly discuss how PD affects me, to educate people that PD is not only the shaking so many people have. Many don't shake violently, I don't. Medications are helping me not to shake right now. Some people don't shake very much. My legs bounce way more than my hands shake. With each loss of ability I start searching for ways to continue to do things I love. I use a walker, since getting on my PD medication I am able to walk on and off for two hours at a time. Before the medication I could barely walk 10 minutes, I was using a wheelchair when we went out, I was working on strengthening my arm muscles by using a manual wheelchair, so I could be active. Now that I am on the medication I workout as much as I am able to be as active for as long as possible on my own two legs. Even though the Apostle Paul had an issue, he found ways to live the problem, to work onto the Lord. I have been given a 2nd chance which has allowed me to use my legs, I am grateful, I have work I can still do for the Lord and be a witness of His goodness to me. I am able to keep up our home, with my husband's help, I help him with some of his projects and I feel my life is full and rich. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

July 16, 2018

Greetings my Friend, As I write I have been waking up for several hours already. With Parkinson's I don't roll out of bed anymore ...