March 23, 2017

Greetings My Friend, I had God signs as a very young child when Dad came down with polio. The most prominent one was Dad lived when the doctor's said he would not and then Dad taught himself to walk again when the doctor's thought he would never walk again. When Dad's parents refused to help us, Grandma Chearhart told us to come back to Michigan and somehow we would make it. Grandma Chearhart was a widow raising a son on her meager salary working in a hospital cafeteria. When Dad got well enough to travel from Colorado back to Michigan, Mom loaded up us 3 kids and Dad into a car that worked until the engine was turned off. It had to cool for 3 hours before starting it again and we headed back to Michigan. Once in Michigan the 5 of us moved into Grandma's small home and we began a journey of getting on our own feet. Many days the hospital provided food for us to eat, our church provided clothes, medical equipment and so many other things. With all of the people stepping beside my family I never caught on to God's awesome provision in my life and my own true faith journey did not come into being until I was in my 40's. As I was reading about the Israelite's journey in the wilderness I came across this passage, "And the Lord said to Moses "How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, inspite of all the signs that I have done among them?" God had done so many marvelous miracles while they were still in Egypt and then He brought them out of Egypt, had them cross the Red Sea on dry ground,gave them water out of a rock and even provided manna for them to eat in the desert. At this point the people were grumbling because they craved meat and thought they would have been better off back in Egypt where they were slaves. The forgot all the awesome ways God had provided for them the minute a new problem arose. For me I had forgotten about all the provisions my family had even though we were struck with polio. I believed God was in all that had gone on and for some reason I never trusted God with my entire heart for some reason until my own life's journey had me in the pits of despair. I had not learned to remember all the times God had provided in my life at that point. I rekindled my deep love for God, even discovering Him for the first time when I went through a divorce after 24 years of marriage. I felt kicked in the stomach and reached up to God in despair and that is when a truly deep walk began in trusting, remembering God's provisions throughout my life. In my despair of praying I felt God cry with me, hold me and push me to get out of the deep funk that overtook me. I learned to be thankful by writing a thankful journal and that is also where I started my remembering of God's provisions in my life. When I married Junior he kept asking me "what does the Bible say" each time I asked him any questions about life. This was the moment a daily time in the Word started to become my habit. Today as I read the passage I felt God's irritation at His provision for His people I saw where I had let God down in my own journey of faith all the times I questioned His provisions for me. In the next paragraph I read "The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving inequity and transgressions..." I sensed God's patience with me and His love for me and I realized that I needed to focus on remembering all the provisions God has given me in my life. I saw how God is teaching me to look back and see He has never left me or forsaken me and has always walked through each moment and trail right beside me. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet