March 21, 2017

Greetings My Friend, Recently we attended the funeral of a friend's mother. The service was beautiful, the words, the songs and afterwards we went into the Family life center to share a meal and remember this woman's life. We chatted with many different people as we ate and as we were preparing to leave Terrie caught us and asked if Junior would show is prosthetic leg to her friend. Junior was happy to show her his fancy leg with the tee shirt embedded onto the leg. Of course a conversation ensued about all of the particulars of being fitted for the prosthesis. As we chatted we learned the friend's boyfriend just lost a portion of his leg to diabetes and how not only the long process required to get accustomed to being an amputee. Not only the physical changes and pain but the emotional pain that goes on with amputation. Michelle, knew quite a bit about the process of needing for the leg to heal and the shrinking process that comes with it. Getting inside the mind of the amputee is difficult and Junior spoke to that end of it since he has been in that same spot. I also told Michelle about being the loved one who desires to work with their new limitations. For me I believed if I added on a certain amount of time to the project that I was being considerate. The problem is one time it may take only the extra I thought it would take and the next time time it could 3 hours. There is no way to program the time a disabled person can do things. I did not learn this lesson until I became disabled. I understood when Junior could not hold hands because it threw him off balance, I grasped Junior's wanting to sleep closet to the bathroom door. But understanding that he cannot work to a time frame which has been difficult for me because I time how long things take and then schedule myself accordingly. The anal organizer in me has struggled to understand this piece of Junior's handicap. Now that I am going through my own disability I understand fully. I admit that once an organizer always an organizer so now I do a little housework everyday, Monday I clean the bathroom, make oatmeal in a jar make 2 meals for us and sweep the floor. The rest of the week goes much like Monday and with this our home is in order most of the time. I had to learn not to get upset if I overslept, if I was too tired to work etc. I have learned to pick up where I left off on my schedule and soon I will be back on track. Since Junior understands the process of working in disability he has encouraged me to let go of my need to be organized anal ways. God loves me and He has taught me He looks at my heart not how well my work gets done. I was able to give this in a capsule form to Michelle so she was able to see how to understand her boyfriend's ability to do things. To me I felt happy that we could help someone cope with disability which affects both the person who is disabled and the one who loves the disabled person. After the funeral we went grocery shopping and as we discussed the comfort we had in sharing our experience with someone who is going through a similar struggle. Later I realized we were ministering to Michelle. For me ministry has always been when I am on a mission trip, teaching Sunday School or something along those lines but ministry really is when I can share how I am able to handle being married to a disabled man with someone who is entering this same situation. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet