November 10, 2016

Greetings My Friend, I am writing with a heating pad on my back. I have met the rigid muscles I have read about full force. Back in the spring I was introduced to a back that seemed to freeze up, at that time I did not know I had PD or what rigid muscles were, today I get it. I noticed in the spring that if I bent forward for long periods of time that my back froze up. I thought I was out of shape real bad, I recall deciding to not sweep the floors with a broom because the constant bending over stressed my waist and back out too. Yesterday it seemed my entire back decided to go rigid and the process of thawing it out was a very long one. After a rest of a few hours I got up to move around only to be met the rigidness again. I do not have a bathtub to soak in so I need to find other ways to quiet the overly stiff muscles down, right now the heating pad seems to be doing the trick. My concern this morning as wrote in my journal was how can I be pleasant in light of serious discomfort. I have met many cranky people who were in major pain so I understand the crankiness. I want to be a pleasant person overall especially when I am out shopping. Retail people put up with all kinds of cranky customers and my goal is to be a bit of sunshine in an otherwise difficult day. When I got to the part in my journal about what I wanted to talk to God about I asked Him in a round about way how I can bring Him glory especially when I hurt real bad. I made much the same choice after my divorce as well, I had seen women who were so rough due to what went on in their marriage and frankly I did not want to be like that either. The world is ugly enough without my adding to the darkness of a bad attitude where ever I was. So far I am tolerating the discomfort and I am able to be quiet as I deal with it. Usually I will mention to Junior what I am dealing with so he knows to leave me alone and he does. I appreciate that a whole lot. When I am able to be friendly I open up to my generally cheerfulness again. Now that this rigidness can strike me out of now where I am concerned with how to deal with the huge discomfort I can go through and still be pleasant. I more than likely will not be wanting to be silly or overly chatty but at least I would want to be pleasant. I believe that God will help me through this process of trying to be pleasant just as He did when I got divorced. I had a few moments of craziness but in general I was decent with most people. I do admit I got testy when I had to deal with my ex, there was a lot of hurt and anger I had with him. Once again I find I reach my older years the time when I thought life would be good, no major new lessons to learn since I thought I had learned them all by now only to find that life is a learning lesson until my last breath. I am grateful I have had to learn how to be flexible with the moves and a new culture in the south. My new lesson now is asking God to show how I give Him glory by teaching me how to react with great distress in my life. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love