November 12, 2016

Greetings My Friend, Today is Junior's 70th birthday and I have known him for 19 years now, being married for 18. His birthday and our years together makes me think about where we were when we first got married and where we are right now. For both of us we were in a previous marriage, we both were divorced and I was new to Single, Divorce Recovery where Junior was a facilitator and a member of the singles group. I looked up to him to find my way around ,he was my facilitator in Divorce Recovery. We did not date while I went through the workshop and Junior fought with himself to let me learn the ropes of being single and the desire to date me. I wanted to practice dating but I learned that I needed to give myself time to heal, to mourn the break up of my marriage. I was married for 24 years, Junior was married almost 20 years, the way he tells it 19 years, 11 months,3 days and who's counting how many minutes. We were falling in love rather quickly and we knew our chances of making it were lessened by me being divorced for such a short time and him being my first boyfriend after divorce. We finally ran off to Toledo OH and got married, from then on for several years we learned all we could about building a Christ centered marriage and all the pitfalls 2nd marriages bring. We started praying daily for a good 10 years together, we were in an accountability group, attended remarried workshops, retreats and Bible studies for couples. Retirement hit for Junior which started changing our patterns slowly, like praying in the mornings he had retired due to back problems which meant he was not functional for a long time in the mornings. Six months later I found out I had breast cancer and I wound up sleeping around the clock. I worked for another 4 years before I retired, by then Junior had figured out retirement for him and how to work with his back problems as for me I began a rather spiraling decent into many health issues. He practically moved us by himself from Michigan to Virginia when we felt led to move. Once in Virginia I kept getting worse for another year or two when I began working my way back to some sort of energy and health. Praying and Bible study had gone out the door and we both did our own reflection time but that was about it. Our home did not need renovating but an overhaul which means there has been a lot of chaos as we worked on bringing order to the disorder of the place. When we moved here we had a bedroom for the TV room and a room to go to bed in that is about it. Slowly though more rooms began to take shape and we found ourselves returning to some sense of normalcy and routines. Still missing though was our time in prayer and God's Word. We talked about it here and there, we wanted to but we also liked our private time with God. Next I started using the wheelchair and going to Sunday school with Junior in the same class. Periodically we would pull out the weekly study guide our class uses and go through it and then we let life get in the way. We started again last night studying the lesson after a serious talk and I am praying that this is the start of getting back into the Word together. We discovered Sunday evening is not a bad time and I believe it is going to stick this time. We rest most of the afternoon on Sunday before heading back to church for a Bible study and we believe we can come home and study the lesson for the next week at this point. With the craziness of the world anymore I have a need to keep drawing closer to God as an individual and as a couple. Once our Bible study time is a habit I am praying we will begin prayer time again. Not only do we learn God's will we also learn what is going on in each other's heart and I believe this will help us face my disease of Parkinson's head on but I will know what Junior needs, how to be a united front as we face the community and world around us. We both know that a marriage needs constant attention for it to continue to grow deep.May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet