August 25 2015

August 25 2015 Greetings My Friend “Each of us must work out our own salvation.” This statement has puzzled me for years. Today I am starting to get a grasp of what this is teaching me anyway. My thinking was if we give our hearts to Jesus then what is there to work out? As I kept going back to this thought slowly I have started to see that my faith journey is just that. God convicts me and I learn to repent, to see what the sin is and how it is affecting my life. Many of the big ones are easy to grasp, murder, adultery, addiction and such. My heart though has deep hidden things such as pride, intolerance, anger and a whole host of other things. Through the years I could identify pride for example. As I did life I wanted to be noticed. I wanted my life to matter and I coveted to be liked by everyone. As I began my writing career I wanted to be famous for the Lord. As God has worked with me my pride level has gone down measurably. Today I am more content just doing what I hear God call me to do and the recognition isn’t as important. It has taken me a long time to let go of the need for those in the world to love me to look at me like I had value. The more I felt loved by God though the more I was able to be content in His love. Being front and center started to take a back seat and I was finding my purpose in God and life was good. I still have moments where I want to be greater but today I am able to walk away quicker. As I was talking to my cousin this morning I was learning another lesson. I am older now. In my younger days I was very involved at my church a youth leader on session and such. I loved the work with the youth, they taught me and let me love them and gave my life a direction and purpose. After I divorced and in my new church I was involved again in new work. I helped set up workshops for the remarried, I helped put out a newsletter. After cancer though my energy level went south and kept going south. First I found it hard to volunteer then I found my job wearing on me and in retirement I went further down. I found my love of writing and a way to share it. At first I put out one blog a few years later I added 2 more days to the blog. Later my cousin helped me set up a Facebook page which took me a long time to figure out how to use it. I did though I learned to write most days some of the thoughts I felt God placed on my heart. After a bit I started forwarding Bible quotes and encouraging messages. Along the way I discovered that I have a birth defect which slows me down a lot and as I shared I found groups that understood me and some great new friends. Sometimes I tell of my struggles and I sense I am reaching people who understand and seem to connect with me. The lesson I am learning is my work for God has changed through the years and that it is okay if I can’t volunteer like I used to. God is able to use me in new ways and as I think on this I sense that God is also making room for a new generation of believers within the church. I am as useful to God today as in my younger years and life is good. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet