August 22 2015

August 22 2015 Greetings My Friend “The peace of Christ that pass all understanding.” It seems like it has taken me forever to find peace inside of me a deep peace in all things. Jesus is my peace these days and I marvel at this peace I have. For a lifetime I searched for peace, it is all I wanted. I wanted to figure life out and live it to the fullest but I never seemed to find that one thing to do to be content. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. Then I wanted to be a career woman who could “bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan” so I went to work and moved up a bit at work. While working I saw that I needed to dress for success and further my education if I wanted to get ahead. I thought that I would gain respect with a nice house in the suburbs, drove a minivan and took nice vacations. One day I was getting a divorce, my children were young adults and I didn’t feel successful in area of my life. I worked hard but no matter how hard I tried to prove myself most people saw me as ineffective and life was so hard. In the depth of pain and despair I finally figured out how to just talk to God. I quit offering pretty and poetic prayers and cried out in pain and disillusionment. Those first days I wasn’t aware of the changes that were taking place but later I saw that this was the beginning of peace and acceptance of myself. Many times as I read my Bible I felt Scripture speak to me, my prayers were more heartfelt and slowly I had peace and acceptance. One phrase that kept speaking to me was “You are a child of the King.” That felt real special. I began to absorb different Scripture passages in my heart such “I know the plans I have for you, the plans to prosper you not harm you.” Along the way I learned about Agape love and then I learned that this is the love God gives me, seeking my highest good. That felt nice and when I was corrected I felt loved because God wasn’t trying to hurt me to hurt me but to help me overcome. The more I learned to accept God’s love slowly I found myself seeking the good of those I came in contact with and I grew less concerned about proving my worth at work and at home. I just loved the way God loved me and that was okay. As I retired I found my health going down and down and I was puzzled as to how to overcome. In the midst of all of this I sensed God teaching me to “be still and know that I am God.” I was to learn how to be content to stay home more and at home I had work to do. God put it on my heart to be a homemaker something that I longed to do and felt less than. I loved being a homemaker for Junior, making sure the house is comfortable, food is made and following him around to view his latest project he was working on. I also learned to write my heart’s content out. As I look back I can see that writer being developed in me as a young child right alongside of the desire to be a wife and mother. Writing requires quiet time, time to reflect and then to write. I loved sharing my journey in the hopes I could help others and “Letters From Janet” was born. Life is good and some people like me, some don’t but God loves me and that is okay. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet