May 30 2015

May 30 2015 Greetings My Friend My last blog was on learning to rely on God. My thoughts kept going as that blog came to an end. I sensed a lesson I have “heard” on my heart for some time now. “God is a God of action not of non action.” For the longest time I struggled with this concept thinking God wanted me to work on the things I learned in the Bible. He does but it seems that the more I read the more I understood that God was teaching me to “Trust Him first and then obey His guidance.” Learning to trust and believe God truly loves me and wants my best has been a huge battle. I believed it in my head and my heart was not so sure. I saw a picture of learning to trust in a situation my son has been struggling with which opened both my eyes and heart to “Trust and obey.” He never finished high school and he hasn’t found a decent paying job. He has been willing to work hard and he has managed to make a decent living because he was willing to work loads of over time. I have prayed over him and I believe God has watched after my son. He is recently divorced and he has been very worried about his ability to support him and his children. Part of the divorce settlement was that he was to pay his ex’s car insurance and her student loan. This upset him greatly and I can understand his concern. The amazing thing is in the end he did not have to pay either one. His employer is slowing down which happens from time to time. My son is worrying again. I get his fear. He has had to take care of himself since he was a teenager. He has taught himself to overcome and he feels a loss of control. My faith journey teaches me to look underneath the surface at how over time things seem to always work out. I reminded him of how God recently took two huge bills from him. At this point I understood that lesson I learned at the start of my journey. The lesson was to write 10 things I was thankful for each day. The more I saw that I had instead of what I did not have the less fearful I was. When my counselor taught me the ACTSS prayer format I transferred writing my “thank you’s” to my prayers and that is my standard today. I was depressed and angry with the way my childhood went. I was equally depressed and angry with the way my ex treated me. Life felt way out of my control. My journey through being thankful taught me that I was a strong person even if others did not think I was. I learned to believe in myself because I kept talking to God and I felt His love and adoration for me. I marveled at his love for me and then marveled even more so. He loves each one of us as if we were the only person in the world and knowing that He did this I found myself reaching out more in His love. I learned God loves me, then I let God love me. The more I felt loved the more confidence I had and today I “hear” God guiding me on how to love, to give, to serve and to share the Gospel. Sometimes I even use words. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet