March 21 2015

March 21 2015 Greetings My Friend Today’s OT lesson taught me that God used Israel’s decedent's to be a nation of holy priests. He picked them to be set apart. I learn that as a follower of Jesus I also need to be holy which means set apart. This is a lesson I keep coming back to and I find my walk deepening each visit. At first I “heard” set apart as being “better than” and a bit of arrogance seemed to come out of me. My thinking was “I am in Jesus and that makes me, better, more pure and the list grew from there.” Next I started working through the meaning with God in my prayers. He showed me that He is “set apart” and He still loves me with all my flaws. The more I chewed on this thought I started to see “set apart” with a different set of eyes. “Set apart” isn’t better than but it is “different” than...the world’s ideas. The more I saw a difference with followers of Jesus I was able to see God’s “set apart” ways to be perfect love. For me a good portion of my life I have related to love as being something to achieve through good behavior. If I did jobs perfectly, remembered people’s special like’s and such then I’d be loved. I threw in not blowing up in anger as perfect love too. I tended to hold back my anger until I blew up only to begin working very hard at not getting angry over anything. One day I asked Jesus into my heart all the way down deep in my being. I was crushed and broken and in such deep pain. It is at that point I met God’s love. I felt God tell me that He loved me right where I was at. There were days I seemed to annoy everyone around me and of course I wanted to please so it hurt that I was annoying. In the cloud of uncertainty I felt God say “I made you the way I made you, when will you be comfortable with the way I made you to be?” It is at this point I learned to love myself for who I am and at this point I started loosing my deep seated anger and need for perfect perfection in all things. I saw God loved me and the more I felt His love I found myself loving more like Him and less in the world’s ways. I loved being accepted as I was and in that the changes grew within me. I realized I’d never be as perfect as God but that was okay. I learned to talk to God more about the hurts of life, the joys of life and slowly I learned to “go with the flow”. As I learned these things I was able to look past people’s “masks” and more at their hearts. I could see fear, anxiety etc. As I learned to see their struggle I was more understanding able to forgive and to let go. I learned to not allow others to use me too. God’s love did not allow me to stay in dysfunction but moved me to a better place. For me learning to give to the poor was a struggle. God has been teaching that just because someone is poor doesn’t mean that it is my job to make their life better. I do need to see where He directs me and to stay on that. God teaches me when to give money, time and when not to. He also teaches me that He doesn’t expect me to run myself ragged in service to Him. If I go to Him He will direct me where He wants me to be and I won’t be wore out. He teaches me that if I spend time with Him I will grow closer and hear His directions. I am on a faith journey to grow into God’s image of me. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you Love Janet