March 19 2015

March 19 2015 Greetings My Friend I have gone from 10 minutes of work then sit to 40 minutes to an hour on a good breathing day. I am down 27 pounds from about a year ago and I am so proud of where I was and where I am now. Our home is picked up most days, floors swept and the bed is made which a few years ago proved to be a great challenge for me to do. It has been worth the snails pace of doing until today. My fatigue days still come and I am continuing to learn how much Vitamin b12 and Evening Primrose to use. I have learned to accept days where it is hard to move and I quickly go back to my 10 minute work then rest routine when needed. I wanted to move past this stage and I have learned to embrace it and to move from that point forward. At this point Junior knows that I am giving it my all to be as active as I can and I appreciate him giving me the space I need to do what I can. Along the way there were days I wondered “why” keep trying? I would build up my stamina only to start back at square one. Slowly I noticed that starting back at square one was easier and quicker so it made the effort worthwhile. Next I noticed that I wasn’t getting as sick as often. Today I know to work the method and in time I will be ready to go and do in short order. If I run for a day or two I know to stop and move slow for another day or so and soon I will be ready to hang out again. God has walked beside me and showed me the things I needed to do Learning to trust God and to accept that He isn’t going to give me a great healing has been hard and at times I wondered “why not?” Today I am grateful for each step and I am not completely healed. In being completely healed I would miss going to God and more than likely do life on my own again so I am grateful to be better but not 100%. Today I am learning to ask God if He wants me in a ministry instead of deciding which ministry I’d like to do. I can’t do mission trips anymore and I miss working with teens. At the end of my 15 years of working with teens I found myself exhausted and unable to hang like I once did. From time to time I would go back to this work only to find I flat out can’t. I am learning that my mission field today is not all church oriented. Junior and I seem to be able to relate to people who are down on their luck. God continues to teach us that we can’t be their all in all. He does show us when to reach out and when to take care of our needs. God reminds me over and over that He wants me in ministry with social media and the fact that I need a lot of quiet down time means I am working with social media. This media has also been the contact I’ve needed as well. People relate to me as I share my walk and I find that I am not alone as well. These people are teaching me to accept the health I have the disabilities I deal with and to be grateful in all things. When I first discovered Chiari Malformation I understood the headaches I’d get. I am not completely free but today I know to eat every 3-4 hours, to eat more protein. By doing this my headaches aren’t as severe or as often. I am learning the seasons that plague my allergies, headaches and how to use a cane for balance. I have never smoked but I have COPD and I am learning those things that trigger bronchitis. I am not completely free of bronchitis but it comes on me less often and not as hard. Each of these struggles makes me appreciate what I do have, what I am able to deal with and to keep on keeping on. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet