December 11 2014

December 11 2014 Greetings My Friend I was listening to a podcast yesterday that opened my heart to Advent in a way I had never thought of Advent. The podcast is Becoming More Christlike by Derrick Hutchinson ministries. The hosts were discussing the fact that this year they could not seem to get into Advent. The more they talked I started to see I have been on a journey for many years which includes both Advent and Lent. I have never done any studies for either season but I have tried to focus on the gift of Christ in my life. Generally by the time Christmas or Easter gets here I have a moment in church where my heart opens up and receives Jesus once more, many times in a deeper way. My earlier years of both of these seasons had revolved around family which I felt was about God. It can be but for me it was more about the “looks” of a family than the actual building a spiritual foundation for the family or myself. Since dysfunction ruled in my life I understood the pretense of a happy family I did not understand how to make it happen. At this stage I understand there is a difference in believing there is a God and believing God’s Word and ways. After 24 years of marriage and lots and lots of family get togethers on both sides of our families I was divorced. This meant that our children celebrated not only with their Dad’s family, my family and their spouses families. My son and his wife also celebrated with her divorced families which became an overwhelming task. There were many years that we celebrated alone as a couple for various reasons and those years were very hard. My grief started early in the season and lasted well past the holiday. Slowly though I found that grief came but at some point I felt a closeness to God. I kept hearing God say to me “Am I enough?” I felt He was and I also felt a piece of me was missing at the same time. It has taken years for me to get to the point of “God is enough, period.” This year I had my early grief as I understood we would more than likely not be with our family. Then I heard this message and I realized I am okay. We may have a few people over or we may not and that is okay either way. For me to come to this place of contentment early on is amazing. Junior and I are going to celebrate Christ’s birthday. I am going to take this most precious gift and look at it all the way to the cross. For me that is the true “joy”. That precious baby brought us a hope. He grew up and brought more hope. As Jesus reached out to the lost the lonely and the hurting I have found that means God wants all of us to accept this gift, not just the “pretty” Christians but even those lost, lonely and hurting people that are not so pretty. Today I want to give the hope I have to anyone willing to accept Jesus’ love. Years ago I remember a lady who was interested in knowing Jesus. She was obese, smelled bad and I was embarrassed to be seen with her much less bring her to church. It hurts to think I felt this way but today I want to bring hope to people like her instead of rejecting her due to her strangeness. God loves me and my strange ways so now I want to accept everyone in the manner God has accepted me. I have also learned that giving to others does not mean giving just to give. Sometimes giving is saying “no” I will not let you stay where you are. God did not leave me where I was even though He took me as I was. The more He loved me the more I grew out of dysfunction and into reaching out to others. God gives me what I need more than what I want and I attempt to love others in the same way. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet