December 13 2014

December 13 2014 Greetings My Friend I compromised my lungs last night by entering into a home of smokers. They were sweet trying to open the door and smoke at the door but the stale smoke leftover smoke from years of smoking was still in the air and I started coughing and needed my emergency inhaler. I won’t do that again anytime soon. I can talk from our car or outside if the weather permits. Today I am struggling with congestion so I learn and attempt to move past this set back. So far I am able to maintain a fairly normal for me activity level and I will keep trying to work at the best of my ability. As I was talking with these friends I understood my role in God’s kingdom a bit more. I seem to be able to share my life’s journey the up’s down’s in’s and out’s of it all. I now share that Jesus is the only way I can move forward in my life and He is the hope I have. With His love I am moving out of many kinds of issues and for the first time in my life I am content in my personhood. Lately I seem to be meeting people of various ages that are struggling with some sort of disability and since I too have been struggling with my new to me disabilities I am sharing my journey. I share how I am striving with God’s guidance to live as full of a life as I can. I share some of my setbacks too. My help site groups are also helping me and I am learning from them. I don’t feel so alone in my struggles and I feel a connection to others who understand. This support keeps me moving forward and when I am able to reach back and help others that makes me feel like I am useful in God’s work also. I also marvel that Grandma C and my mother in laws older years of total loneliness does not have to be what my older years are. In the back of my mind I felt that was what old age was, that used up not wanted, needed feeling. I tried hard to make them feel wanted, loved etc. but somehow I was not able to. Today I understand that some of my usefulness comes from reaching out to others. I am attempting to hear God’s direction and in that I find a fullness to life. Life is definitely different today as an older woman. I have had to learn to readjust my thinking, my way of working to fit what my mind and body can handle. This has been a journey of several years but today I am able to fill my days with a sense of purpose and direction. I woke up at my regular time this morning. I started off my regular morning waking up on Facebook, Bible study and even prayed. In the midst of my morning waking up I fell back asleep for a few hours. I reviewed my day yesterday and I understand the tiredness and as the morning turned into afternoon I understood the congestion I am feeling. I may go down some more or I may be able to take enough vitamin c etc. to keep from going into full blown bronchitis, time will tell. The good news to me is I understand what is happening and I will roll with what is going on and then move forward accordingly. I am not getting upset because I may get sick. I have had enough experience to know the process and that I will come back more fully. I also believe that learning to exercise, eat well, move at my own pace etc. has helped me so I am able to come back easier. God has encouraged me to keep trying when it was easier to just sit. He pointed me to supplements that have given me a measure of my energy back and has also opened up the opportunities for medication to help me maintain. God is my sustainer and in that I am at peace with this phase of my life. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet