July 26 2014

July 26 2014

Greetings My Friend,

I’m down one more pound...a very slow process but hopefully a good way to go. My exercise routines continues to grow and that is nice too. The stretching I hope will bring more balance back to me. The walks work out my heart and muscle groups and resistance bands are helping me to tone my muscles also.

I know this part of me and it feels like an old  friend is back now that I can engage in activity a bit more. On the way back after an up and down the hill regiment I was winded and I wanted to stop and sit that said I’m glad I did 25 minutes all together. A trip to the store later will add a few more minutes to my walk routine.

Junior and I have worked out the time of day that is best for running errands and going to the doctor etc. We make early afternoon appointments so I have mornings free to do daily chores, writing, quiet time and exercising. Mid day errands also means we miss a lot of rush hour traffic although out here rush hour is tame compared to a drive into a major city and back each day.

That sense of confusion and chaos is gone. Renovating still brings disorder to our lives but not like it did at the start of this journey. Lately I start to see all the journey’s we have in life. For me the cohesive part of each journey is Jesus. The more I take each detail of my life to Jesus the more I find order in the disorder. I find calmness in place of chaos running havoc in my life.

I marvel at the quiet I have inside of me these days. As I relish where I am mentally and spiritually I’ve found myself embarking on another journey. As I embark on this journey I have a moment or two of panic but then I remember where I once was emotionally and spiritually and this new journey into one health issue after another isn’t as intimidating to me as the first steps of faith as

a new believer.

My journey through the Bible has honed in again on the “remember” game. I see it in the Psalms as the Psalmist admonishes the people to remember the times of God’s great provision for their lives. I see it as a people thrown into bondage begin to reflect on how God had provided for them. I see in the New Testament references back to the Old Testament and the lessons they learned.

So I embark on a journey of declining health and that sense of panic tends to wash away as I recall the times God has been at my side in other issues of life. I learn ways to work within my limitations and that old sense of “self” comes back to me.

I have some big ticket illness’ but that is okay. I am learning how to manage my symptoms. I see a person from my past doing fairly well and her health issue is still manageable 20 years into her struggle. This makes me more determined to be proactive and yes the disease may overtake me but I am going to live the best I can as long as I can and at the end…..my guess is I will be ready to meet Jesus so the disease won’t scare me like it does now.

Junior is into his back issues a good 40 years now. His PTSD is that old also and each day he gets up and renovates on our home and in general he does every day life. I also see days where he is gimped up with pain beyond words. He takes time out to bring himself back to square one as far as that can be. He loves me to pieces I see it all the time. He loves life and he lives it as fully as he can.

Jesus also helps him in a day by day and a moment by moment way. We pray a small pray together at night and he starts his morning in quiet time with God. He is my inspiration to face life and to enjoy it even though he has to go about life in a way most people don’t.

When we were first married I watched his bedtime routine and his morning routine and marveled. Each night is a process for him. His prosthesis must come off and then his foam insert followed by a wool stump sock. Junior loves holding hands when we walk but it also throws him off balance. I know this and so I don’t insist on hand holding while we walk.

Junior could be angry and rightly so. When he came home from war the nation was not a nation at that time that appreciated his effort. He was treated poorly and it hurt after he lost a body part. Junior loves his country and God has taken the hurt upon Himself. Junior is able to be proud of his work in Viet Nam and is good with one less body part. God sustains him and Junior is able to get up and go forth spreading the Good News of the Gospel.

Junior is patient with me, loving and kind. If Junior can face his demons with God’s help then  I’m sure I can face mine with God’s loving support always near.

May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you.

Love

Janet