June 28 2014

June 28 2014 Greetings My Friend, Right now the goal is to be cool. My hair is up in pigtails, I have a tee shirt and a pair of boxer shorts on….only for at home alone well with Junior. We went grocery shopping and got a sub for lunch. We stopped at the drugstore to pick a perscription and now we are back home. As the coolness seeps into me my mind begins to focus on what projects I’d like to do next. Our grief has moved on from utter shock to that “I miss our cat” sense. Life tends to fill in and the more we do the more we move out of grief. It is only for a beloved cat but I am surprised at how hard her passing hit us. Junior has checked in on her babies and they are thriving well. They are able to eat regular food so this helps. We enjoy having cats around the yard since we also know they keep rodents at bay along with snakes. I’m not fond of either one coming into my home and out here there are poisonous snakes. In our five years out here we’ve seen two dead copper headed snakes and one live black snake….not a lot, still I’d like to never meet one. Today is a day that I have gotten two walks in. My walk outside and a walk in the grocery store. I also hit the dollar store so I walked around quite a bit. Now I sit and gain some momentum before I start doing some other things. A young man commented on Facebook the other day about someone who was “acting” like a Christian but their day to day said everything but. My goal is to be the same outside the house as I am inside my house. At times like this I wonder “what does my faith walk” say to others? Am I being true or fake?” As these thoughts swirl around I find myself talking to God at the same time. God reminds me that a friend commented that “I am a Christian” as she was talking to someone. To be honest “being Christian” is my goal it generally isn’t my moment to moment thought. At times I stop and say “WWJD?” Would God like that thought I just had or how I responded to that person?” I also wear a cross necklace and bracelet. In the car I have a cross hung from my mirror. My goal isn’t to show off….it is more my reminder that I’ve chosen a different path and when I rest my eyes on the cross I tend to come back to an attempt to walk as a Christian. These reminders help me to keep my mind out of the gutter. They help me to have charitable thoughts about annoying people to me. To be honest the more I can keep from these negative things the more I like the person I am in Christ. Even as I grieved for a cat I found myself not liking death again. I wanted to be angry but God kept reminding me that someday there will be “no more pain or sorrow.” I felt God understood my grief and was crying alongside of me. God also pointed me to do a few things in the midst of my grief. I cooked a couple of meals for Junior and I. I waited quietly for Junior to sit near me...for him that was as much of a hug that he wanted. He seemed to want to know I was there and I cared and I even hurt like he was hurting. We were able to reach out to each other and be the comfort we needed. While I waited for Junior to come to terms with his grief I called a Niece and she told me what I already knew but for some reason it helped. In grief God showed me caring hearts. Our Niece and Nephew alongside of Facebook friends coming alongside us in our grief. My thought is I am attempting to walk the walk and talk the talk. That is all I can do. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet