June 12 2014

June 12 2014 Greetings My Friend, Time for me to catch my breath before entering into this day. I like this new routine. I’ve finished my walk for this morning with a shopping trip this afternoon I will get in more walking at the store with a buggy. When I catch my breath I will eat lunch and do a few things around the house before we take off for our errands. Junior will need his nap. He’s been busy with the kitchen renovation for most of the morning taking time to go on a walk with me. I love when he tags along. I love the dogs tagging along as well. Today I saw some wild roses, an unusual stump so I took pictures along the way. That is always fun and as my balance is off sometimes I sit on my walker seat to take pictures. It works out real nice plus I get a quick rest before moving along. Today I hope to get back on the deck and start painting the end table I’ve been working on. I want to paint it buttercream yellow and then use a stencil of butterflies and do that in a dark green. Junior and I were working on it yesterday. He was teaching me how to use solvent to get the stripper residue off and to sand it. He said since we were painting it we didn’t have to do all that but it was a chance for me to learn how to do these things for the times we will stain the wood instead of painting it and it doesn’t hurt the painted project to do a bit extra. I truly sense our day is coming that we will work together on projects like these and even sell them since we can only hold so much furniture in our own home and we like this type of project. I love Junior’s gentle voice as he teaches me and his patience as I flub up a few things. I even feel Junior’s excitement of working alongside of me. It is such a freeing feeling to feel this safe and wanted. One of the pictures I took was one of our outbuildings that Junior has made into a shed and hooked to another outbuilding/shed. Piled all around were logs, a ladder and plain ole stuff. Stuff everywhere. At first I cringed as I took the picture and then I relaxed. This is a work in progress and frankly stuff is strewn when work is in progress. The old me would want to clean up after I finished putting everything away. Even now I tend to do that so I can start with a clean slate the next time I work. Junior has shown me that the work will get done, the mess cleared away in due time. He isn’t about making things all nicey nice for the sake of others to see. I’d say my clean phobia is for a show. I don’t want people to think I am a slob. In reality how many times have I seen work projects all askew? A lot really. I do need to make a clean starting point so I can refocus when I get back but to put each and everything away...it isn’t necessary really. I think old age and my faith journey has helped me to look past clutter and to see the heart of a matter. If people don’t think I am neat then nothing I can do will change their mind. My ex pointed out how sloppy I was all the time. After the divorce I was surprised by all the comments from co-workers and such about what a neat person I am. Then I meet Junior. Compared to Junior I am a neat freak. Junior has opened my eyes to be comfortable with things the way I am comfortable and go with it. People will like me or they won’t and how clean I keep myself to a point isn’t relevant in the scheme of things. He is neat in his appearance, he is clean as well. I appreciate that. When I got tired of seeing Junior in dirty, painted work clothes all day and whenever we went anywhere I told him so. He loves me enough that he will change into neater looking clothes when we go out in public. I appreciate that and his work clothes around the house are fine these days. Two imperfect people come together. The first time around we tried to change each other and both of us resented it. This time my husband and I seek God daily on how to be what the other one needs and there is a comfort level in our marriage I never knew before. We don’t try to change each other and frankly that is a freeing feeling. I am accepted and loved for being me. What more can I want or ask for? May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet