Wednesday, May 7, 2014

May 8 2014


May 20 2014



Greetings My Friend,



I am praying through Jesus' last hours on the cross. Once more I am at the point of Jesus crying out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.” I feel anguish and pain as I replay these words through my mind again.



Again I see Jesus' pain was so deep. His body was beaten and battered beyond recognition. I can only absorb a tiny peace of the deep pain He went through. I know beyond a doubt that He was in major pain but my mind can not fully wrap my brain around the intense pain.



I also have begun to see that along with physical pain Jesus suffered major emotional and spiritual pain. Jesus was fully God and fully man which in my mind means that even Judas' betrayal hurt Him a lot. He knew that Judas would betray Him but the fully man part in Him tells me that He felt the pain of betrayal as we would feel it.



When God turns His back on Jesus I sense again deep pain. I hear it as Jesus cries out “My God, my God why have you forsaken me.” I hear immense pain and at the same time I see that life without God is about as awful as life can be even worse. Jesus' anguished cry keeps going through my system.



For years I believed that God was real. I for some reason did not figure out the way to be in relationship with God though. I did not know how to seek God with all of my being.



As much as I hated to be divorced I am grateful as well. In my lowest point I found myself talking with my heart to God. I began a serious walk with the Lord at that low point in my life. I have found the peace I was searching for in a moment of despair.



These days I don't want to ever walk alone again. I know the painfulness of walking alone on my own steam. In my world I never felt wanted, special or even intelligent. Then I began my walk with God and I have never felt so wanted and special. God gives my life definition and meaning. My definition is God everything for God and about God and nothing about “me.” The more I give my “all” to God the more alive I feel.



Some people seem to point out I take my belief a bit too far. As the saying goes though “Jesus died for me and that is pretty serious.” At this point in my life I do take my faith very seriously. I want to offer the “hope” I have to others especially a hurting soul.



The Bible teaches us that we are to “love God with all our heart, all our soul, with all our mind and with all our strength.” I try to live a life that filters everything first through God's eyes. When I can do this I find peace, acceptance and love.



My goal is to lift “all of me” up to God and give my best to God. As I learn to give my life to God I find God teaching me to be the person He wants me to be and in that I find I like this person.



Some people struggle with my faith journey and the seriousness of it. Some people respond to my faith walk. I make people laugh, I reach out to a friend who is sick or hurting. Junior and I have two friends this past month come by for a visit and we provided a place of rest for them. I like that we can offer them a quiet place when life is crazy.



I like ministering to others. I like stepping outside of “me” and living for another person's good. This is where I find God reaching out to me and when I reach out as I receive God's love I find the circle of life to be complete and full.



God has given me life and now I want to offer the “hope” I have. Have you accepted Jesus' gift of the cross.



May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you.



Love



Janet

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