May
6 2014
Greetings
My Friend,
One
more issue has been found out to my decline. I do have a mild case of
COPD. My doctor doesn't think it will get real bad and that comforts
me. I do recall Mom and her turning blue etc. I won't get that bad
due the fact I never smoked and I left 2nd smoke 17 years
ago. At present I will use an as need inhaler and an inhaler to
maintain lung function. It works.
I
asked for a walker with wheels and my Doctor wants to wait to see if
the inhalers will allow me to walk longer without out being tired or
out of breath. I was encouraged as to the possibility that I can walk
longer and I may not be as tired as I have been in recent years.
My
nephew had back surgery yesterday. He is out and doing well. He said
when he woke up that he was in less pain than before the surgery. He
has been off of work for a while now. He has enjoyed being home more
with his wife and children.
His
faith journey has gotten a bit stronger and I told him that this
accident may be a blessing in disguise. The pain has been unbearable
for him but in the meantime the closeness he has had with his family
is priceless.
He
is looking into another position that will give him more time with
his family. I was so proud to hear this. I sense the closeness in his
relationship as well and it makes me happy for them.
Sometimes
our journey with the Lord is confusing. Why would God allow....an
accident that keeps “me' in pain? Why would God allow my children
to pull away from me when I tried my best to be a good mother? Why
would God.....
As
the years go on though I begin to see God's hand for my betterment in
many of the hard situations that life bring my way. I did not want my
former marriage to end. I wanted him to stop the abuse he was doing.
I even prayed asking that our marriage be saved. Many years later I
see the blessing in the harshness of divorce. It was hard to be
single again after 24 years. I felt so lost and alone and at that low
point I began my faith journey in earnest.
The
hard parts were there still but I did not feel alone. I felt a hand
guiding my steps as I learned to pray asking for help. I felt a peace
as I met and married Junior. I feel God teaching me to be the wife
Junior needs and I am letting go of what I'd like to be as a wife.
God
placed writing on my heart at a tender young age. I tried my hand at
writing when my children were young. I needed an immediate income to
supplement the family income so I found a job.
As
I married Junior God guided my writing path. I started writing Junior
letters each day before I went to work. He came home 3 hours before I
did in the evening and this was my way to greet him and give him a
hug. It worked and Junior loved my letters.
God
taught me to tell Junior what I admired and respected in him. For me
the letters kept me focused on Junior's good qualities and not on his
bad traits that could drive a wedge between us. I was aware of his
flaws but his flaws did not consume me.
A
friend stepped beside me and mentored me so I could find my “style”
in writing and it gave me confidence to write more. Then an
opportunity to help put out a newsletter came along and I did that
for a while. As I retired I felt God telling me to write “Letters
From Janet” about my faith journey. I have done that for 6 years or
now.
Last
fall my cousin taught me how to write on Twitter and to manage it on
another program called Hootsuite. I am growing in this. I can't seem
to find the energy to do any volunteer work or even work part time
outside our home. I can write and keep house. I can work at the pace
my body will let me and I am about as content as I can be.
Learning
to “hear” God takes time. I also need to speak to God often. I
need to read the Bible often. In that I can then begin to hear the
Holy Spirit's prompting.
As
I have learned to pray to the “Father, to the Son and to the Holy
Spirit” separately I have learned to “hear” God's voice in my
life. Sometimes I ask God to show me a sign and sometimes I step out
in faith. As things work out well I learn to discern God's voice and
my own wants.
As
I re read this I realize again that I am on a journey. These days
though I am not as lost and lonely and in pain like I was at one
point in my life. God is very real in my heart and I truly want God
to stay there.
Whose
voice do you listen to?
May
God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you.
Love
Janet
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