May
1 2014
Greetings
My Friend,
I
have had quiet time, I've started a few chores with the sheets in the
washer and had lunch. The day moves on. During my breaks I call P and
check in on their trip they just came back from. I check out FB and
find the prayer chain I joined has a few requests so I lift the
requests up in prayer. I see some people with a struggle on FB so I
pray for them.
Praying
tends to take “me” out of the equation and puts my perspective on
God and others. The more I learn to do this I find contentment
residing in me.
My
struggles tend to seem manageable and I find hope residing in me. As
much as I'd like to make life about “me” the less I do make it
about “me” and frankly I am happier.
I've
joined a prayer chain where I don't know any of the people. It was a
site suggested to me when I was involved with a support group on
line. The group helped me through the last phases of my depression
and has now broken up. The prayer chain though I've stayed in touch
with.
We
had a friend stay with us recently who has a child with mental
struggles. I brought their concerns to my Sunday school class and
asked for prayer for them. A day or so after he returned home he
called and stated that the son is in the hospital undergoing an
evaluation. I felt God heard the request. I felt that the parents are
able to make decisions they must make.
When
I first understood our need for Jesus and that we need to ask Him
into our hearts confessing our sins I felt an urge to lift names of
anybody and everybody I could think of up to God. I have that desire
even now but I also realize that my brain can only focus on so many
names.
At
this point I tend to offer up a prayer as soon as I get a request. I
for a long time wanted to wait till I was alone in my quiet time. To
be honest I often forgot to pray. These days I offer it up as soon as
I can in a silent prayer format. I'm not good at praying with people
yet.
I'm
finding the more I go to prayer the quieter my spirit tends to be. I
am able to “hear” God and His direction. The more I read my Bible
I also tend to “hear” God as well. I also find that my focus
changes and I desire to be about God and His will for my life.
The
new “me” is finding life to be awesome. All the myths I've bought
into are slipping away. Being “old” has been a bit scary in the
past. I saw that old people were in general very lonely and felt
useless. I am not feeling that lonely and useless. I continue to seek
God and His direction for my life and in that a “fullness” fills
my being.
I
have prayer time at night and as I wake up. That time is precious to
me. Nightmares don't plague me much anymore. I no longer live through
the abuse of a lifetime. I do go back there but these days a
“popcorn” prayer of asking for helps tends to take the fear, the
thought away. As I wake up some mornings I linger after I say “In
Jesus Name Amen.” Sometimes I talk to God about little things
longer. I have a desire to not leave yet and don't. It is nice.
I
find that God does not tire of hearing the same thing over and over.
He hears and then somehow He helps me move out of the struggle and
soon I am not in the repeat pattern. God hears me then He points the
direction I need to go into. As I enter into that direction I find I
can handle the stress of life so much easier. I am not alone. That
moves me a lot.
As
I write I again see the “journey” part in my faith walk. I see
that I am moving from where I was to where I am to where I am going.
May
God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you.
Love
Janet
No comments:
Post a Comment