April 8 2014

April 8 2014

Greetings My Friend,

Last night was a special night. I had three friends call me and chat for a long time. I loved it. It has been a while since our phone has been that busy. I don't mind not getting on the phone like I used to but having time to visit with friends definitely was precious.

Each call had a dimension all of its own which was nice as well. One call was about a health issue I am going through. The friend has just gone through the same thing and she was able to give me an idea of what to expect. As I get a new diagnosis I like to have a general idea of what I will need to do and deal with.

The second call was from a niece who is thinking about settling in VA. It will be a process of a few years but we talked about the things she needs to do to make the move happen. We also talked about her moving to our property and putting up a home. We walked through some thoughts and now the men in our lives need to be involved in this discussion.

Lastly a friend called back from a call I placed the day before. I had called with a question. In the meantime I found the answer so we chatted and caught up on what has been going on this week. It too was fun.

This morning another friend was on FB and I asked her to call. She did and as you can imagine this girl is one content little puppy. This friend is on medical so I tend to call her once a week at work and talk for a short time. She understands me and I am often amazed that she gets my humor.

To say life feels full and comfortable right now is putting it mildly. I also don't get upset that life tends to not be filled with the busyness of years gone by. I don't get out like I used to and hang out. Today life is way slower and frankly I love it. It has been a process of learning to like being slowed down. These days I love it.

Junior and I had a run around town day yesterday. It started with a hair cut and then a stop by Kmart's since they are going out of business out here. We picked up some great deals and enjoyed that a ton. Next was a Lowe's run. I can only take so much of Lowe's but I know Junior loves his time here so I've gotten to where I walk the outside aisles of the store for exercise. I often find things that we may want to look into getting down the road so we share that moment and it is done. I had Daisy and she got lot's of attention and this Momma was thrilled.

If I want Junior to join me in my likes then I find it helpful to enter into the things he likes to do. I realize I have a short attention span so I try to fill my short attention span so that Junior can enjoy his time without me wanting to move on. Sometimes at home I am ready before he is. I can get a little too pushy about leaving. Many times these days I tend to turn on the TV for a few minutes while he finishes what he is doing. In the car I can get too talkative so my smart phone comes in handy. I check out FB and e-mail often which means my mouth is not running and Junior doesn't have to process a lot of chatter. He likes periods of quiet time.

Since I have retired I have been on a journey to understanding what makes “me” me. I have also had to understand life in an older body. These past few years have been a struggle and a huge learning process for me. In the learning process I finally have a picture of “who I am” and how I relate to my world.

As a child I was an introvert. In my former marriage I was an introvert. These days I am not. I love being silly and getting people to giggle at my antics. I love being Daisy's Mom and sharing her with others. I am on the look out also for ways to share my faith. I attempt to share it so that it is a natural flow of conversation.

“I once was lost but now am found” is a theme I ponder on often. Prior to my faith journey I was always seeking and looking and never finding. These days I am comfortable in my own skin. I like the person I am. Our life is not full of drama and arguing. We do from time to time disagree with each other but it doesn't tend to derail our lives much.

I have always loved having company. I loved hosting family get togethers. For a good portion of my adult life I had a stream of people coming and visiting us and I also visited others. Out here people are busy keeping up the property and a work life and such. The visiting is not like it was in an urban area.

I find myself enjoying life more so out here. I see people as I run about doing errands, go to church and such. I also like that I don't need to be on the go like I used to. My body can't so that too helps me stay still more often. I have also learned the art of doing a little here and there throughout the day.

As I sit here I look up and see a fairly picked up home and I love it. I am able to stay on top of things these days. I had always thought that retirement was going to be easier than it has been. I did not lose sight of my “hope” though. Somehow I knew that I would find that medium ground and I would be able to enjoy my older years. That day is now.

I also sense God's direction in my life. The move to VA truly puzzled me. I was not unhappy in MI well not real unhappy. I struggled with some ex issues and children issues but over all I was I thought fairly content. Then God implanted the idea of a major move to another state on our hearts. The move has had its share of struggles. Five years later though I am ever grateful for the move. I love where we are at. The house is awesome even though it has a lot of renovating to do yet. I have learned to live through chaos. I have come back to the organized woman I have always been. I have learned to walk away from organization and found that I will live.

Junior now understands my need to be organized. It is not to drive him crazy but a need I have to function due to my over active mind. Junior has decided I am not a cry baby as well. After I fell and broke my vertebrae he discovered that I do have a pain tolerance. He has also learned that I need to say out loud how I feel and if given that chance I quiet down. I don't deal with my pain in silence like he can do.

I believe all of these struggles have brought us closer together emotionally as well. I also know that he loves me deeply. I see it in the way he renovates each area of the house. He is making it fit our needs. He also likes my style of decorating and works at that in the renovating process. I now have half of the house fashioned in the way we like it. I am able to function and move about better. I also know that we may be years from finishing all the work he wants to do but I now have the order I need to function.

Listening to God can be a challenge at times. It may not seem to make sense but the more I listen to God and enjoy the gifts He gives I find “a peace that passes all understanding.”

Each step takes me deeper into this journey. Each time I can reflect on God's greatness, His gifts and His love I tend to move forward and accept life where it is at.

May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.

Love

Janet