Wednesday, April 16, 2014

April 17 2014


April 18 2014



Greetings My Friend,



It seemed to take Junior a lifetime to “get” that I stumble over the littlest of things but he has got it now. At present the shed he made is finished and I see things that cluttered the porch leaving. It upset him the last time I tripped over my own foot and he has been on a mission to make my life clutter free.



I find that sometimes it takes a bit of learning and growing to understand my husband. I try very hard but I must admit some things don't register. I feel that is the clutter lesson Junior has learned.



Up until recently I have not stumbled like I do now. It has not been a problem to maneuver around things. Now it is. As he watched me stumble over a little something on the porch it seemed to register that I could not deal with clutter anymore. Well I've never liked clutter but now it creates a new problem for me.



As life is more clutter free I am not stumbling as often as well. Sometimes I walk through the house grabbing onto things as I walk around. I don't use my cane in the house because there is something close at hand to grab onto. As I have fewer days where I stumble I feel more secure.



This week I go to see the neurologist to learn more about my balance issues. I see the surgeon for a check up after the scope. Next week I see my family doctor and have a pulmonary function test. As I struggled up the hill this morning I prayed that soon I will be able to walk up the hill, walk down the road and back again with the aid of some sort of medication. We will see.



I hear Junior in the kitchen banging gently the dishes he is washing. He is taking a break from the outside work. I have picked up a bit and at present I am sitting gaining some energy to do more in a bit. Retirement teaches us to work as we can. It has been a hard lesson for me to learn but I now have it.



One of the things I learned as a newly re-married was that generally my spouse wants my best just as I wanted his best. When I viewed life in this way I realized that Junior did not want me to struggle or to make things hard just to make them hard on me. As I absorbed this lesson I found I did not get angry over his “lack” at times. I began to understand that there were moments he truly did not understand my need and the same with me for him.



These days I go to prayer more often and as I do I begin to open my eyes to Junior's thought process better. I tend to find a caring person trying to figure out how to live beside me not a person trying to annoy me to no end for no reason.



With my last stumble Junior learned to see “clutter” as he has never seen clutter before. Prior to this I could not seem to get him on my page as far as what clutter was to me. Now he gets it better.



At this point I am thankful that we don't fight over each tiny detail in our lives. My days of fighting are truly over with. God continues to teach me to accept Junior as the man he is and allows me to love him despite his annoying traits.



Sometimes we are tired and will be less patient with each other. Sometimes we truly don't understand the need but in learning to accept each other we begin to grow closer. It is God teaching us.



May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you.



Love



Janet

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