May
16 2014
Greetings
My Friend,
MB
is here. Yesterday we both found ourselves sleeping on and off all
day. That 10 hr. drive is a long hard drive. Today we both seem to be
awake and energetic. Tomorrow is Sunday and there is a pot luck after
church so today we will make cocoa no bakes.
We've
gone for our walk up that killer hill and back. Today we made it to
the first house over the hill. I used the inhaler before taking off
and went a tad bit further. I may have the program down as to what I
need to do with the as needed inhaler. I take the maintenance inhaler
when I first get up so my lungs should be in decent order by the time
I take my walk.
I
can see MB unwinding and I am happy for her. I am enjoying her stay
as much as she seems to be enjoying her stay. I wish she could come
for longer visits and maybe once she is retired we may be able to
visit longer.
I
am thinking about friendships today. Little Sister was on FB being
silly and I joined in on the fun. I am glad that we have worked
passed some of our confusing moments. We will never be real close, we
live two totally different life styles but at this point we can be
friends.
As
my emotional health went south and we moved I found some friendships
going by the wayside. Two of these friendships were long standing
friendships and then I was struggling to get my footing on stable
ground again. It hurt as these people left my life.
One
by one my doctor and I are working through my struggles and one by
one I am coming back to my “old self” again. MB has hung with me
through my stressful moments. M has hung with me at my worst and of
course Junior has stayed right beside me.
My
emotions were way out of whack for several years. I tried counseling
and could not move past the pain of the past. It had worked for years
but this time it was not working. I asked about an anti anxiety
medication and since going on it I have turned around. Life is a joy.
My old fears are in the past and tend to stay in the past. I still
find myself having those old conversations in my mind but today I ask
God to take the thought away and the thought disappears rather
quickly. Some days I don't even have those thoughts at all.
As
my doctor has had me take medication for COPD, sleep apnea with CPAP
machine, gotten my GERDS under control and such I am able to process
life again. Junior getting rid of the clutter so I can move about
easier has been helpful as well.
These
days I feel like my “old self” again. I am moving about slower
but the attitude is definitely “me” again. Even the house is
looking like the house I've kept and decorated through the years. In
all of this I find a deeper contentment.
I
believe that God has walked beside me throughout these struggles. At
the right time He pointed my doctor to the right medication and such.
It has been a struggle but now I am living day to day and in the
moment.
My
life is full of work which is writing, keeping house and watching
after Junior. I have found ministry in the day to day things and I
love the thought that I am being used by God.
Retirement
is finally on track to what I had hoped it would be. It has been a
process but now the process is reality and I love it. None of my
contentment is what I have done but what God has done in me. That is
an awesome feeling.
Do
you know true peace? Is it Jesus?
May
God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you.
Love
Janet
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