March 18 2014

March 18 2014

Greetings My Friend,

Yesterday I had the scope put down my throat to look at my stomach. It is the same result as the last time they looked at it. My symptoms have gotten worse and now I am on a second medication. I am 60 years old and I wonder if the list of medications will grow. Right now I am on 3 medications. That to me is enough.

I take supplements as well. I watch Junior and his health. He worked in a chemical factory for 38 years and he could easily have many issues related to all those chemicals. He does pretty good actually. He has a bad back, is minus a foot and has PTSD. Compared to me though he is doing real well. He mainly goes for well check ups with his doctor. He is checking into hearing aids though, still not bad. Junior has taken supplements for years and frankly I think that is why his health is doing so good.

He also does some form of exercise fairly much daily. Sometimes he does back stretches and lifts hand weights. Sometimes we walk down our country lane and now many days find him doing a half hour on the elliptical. He does something and many times several things each day to several days a week.

This fall and winter I have finally been able to build up my exercise time again. I am up to 25 minutes 4-6 days a week. I have to do it in 10 minute increments but I do 25 minutes. My goal is 30 minutes on the elliptical and then begin another routine.

I am starting to feel some muscle in my stomach and on my arms. Junior felt them today and gave me the “great job” accolades I was looking for. I have done some sort of exercise for most of my life. The last 20 years before retirement I mainly walked on my breaks at work.

As chronic fatigue set in on me I found it harder and harder to exercise. Some days I would make myself walk down the country lane only to come back so exhausted. The next day I would not walk and attempt to do housework to find I could do nothing but sit.

Even as we moved to our home we are in now I attempted to walk the country lane only to find that I could never build up to a half hour walk. One day I made the walk and the next it was all I could do to get up the first hill. This winter is the first time in many years I have been able to build up a routine and stick to it.

Once more I give God the glory. He has lead me step by step through each struggle until I have found fairly good health and energy. I still have a few things to deal with but that over whelming tiredness and in ability to go is gone. I see where God led me to VA, to where we live, to my doctor/doctor's and to supplements that have brought me this measure of health.

It has been a very long journey but today I am content, energetic to a fair degree and life is sweet. I don't have nightmares because I have learned to talk to God all night long and into the morning wake up time. I find a huge comfort in this.

My marriage is still strong. Junior and I have grown more intimate and in love with each other. I feel safe and trust him like I have never trusted another human being. In the past I tended to put people on pedestals and frankly I worshiped them. I would not have thought I was but hindsight teaches me that is what I did.

I learned to feel God's love. The more I felt God's love, the more I absorbed His love and found myself being able to love the way God loves me. In doing this today I have much healthier relationships. I don't love out of neediness anymore. God loves me and that is enough. I get God's love and God tends to send me so much love through other people. It is not always my family either. Many times it is my community that I live in, new friends, old friends and the list goes on. I am blessed to be loved by God and others.

At one point in my life I felt old age was going to be lonely and very unfulfilling. As I entered into retirement I felt a calling to write. Today I spend several hours several days a week writing different sorts of things. I am keeping up with the housework again and love it. I am cooking frequently again and I enjoy that. As the kitchen comes along I see me more involved with baking, canning jams/jellies and continue making meals. I will add the kitchen and dining room to my schedule along with the enclosed porch which is our storage area.

I feel involved, useful and life could not be sweeter. I have health concerns like why am I still stumbling and falling down. Why am I winded easily? Junior comes along side of me and I find courage to face my struggles. God guides me as I ask for help. He guides me in the direction I need to go in. It helps and I feel valuable to God and to the human race.

I continue to believe that a faith walk with the Lord is the best way to do life.

May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.

Love

Janet