March 13 2014

March 13 2014

Greetings My Friend,

Growing up I knew that the Holy Spirit was part of the Trinity. I did not understand who He is though. I said the affirmations of faith with His name but I did not know who He was. For the longest time I just said the words and then moved on.

As I began my faith journey I found that I wanted to get to know the Holy Spirit. I asked a million questions in classes, to my friends and husband. I could not get “it.” I tried hard to wrap my brain around Him but I always came up empty. Then I decided that in my prayer time I was going to talk to Him like I talk to the Father and our Lord. It has helped me a bunch.

I have gone to churches that spoke in tongues. After the service the minister talks to me about how “tongues” is scriptural and I often find myself wondering again. As I continue reading my Bible year in and year out I begin to see that tongues is talked about. Paul says that tongues are good but he'd rather see us spreading the Good News. I begin to relax in my journey.

As I continue on in this journey I have moments that astound me. There was the time I was talking to my son and I was groping for the right words. All of a sudden the words came to me, they made sense and I marveled that I said the right thing at the right time. I was beginning to sense the Holy Spirit's movement within me.

As I began asking God to teach me to be the wife Junior needed and not a cookie cutter mold of a wife like I read about in magazines I started relating to Junior in a way that “spoke” to his heart. Sometimes his need was a beverage handed to him at a party or while he worked in the yard. Later I learned the times that I inadvertently said something and he was anxious. I learned that this was his PTSD struggle and I learned to not mention those things. The Holy Spirit was guiding me.

The more I prayed to all Three in the God head the more I saw each role of the God Head. God the Father is the male figure I had never met in a man. God the Father is tender, stern at times and always wants my best. He never seeks to destroy me.

Our Lord Jesus cares for me so much that He died for my sins and that opens the door for a personal relationship with the Father. Lord Jesus teaches me how to give to God the Father my whole inner being. He gives me a true hope a hope I had always longed for but did not know how to reach out and take of it. As I see our Lord reaching out to the UN-desirable people I see hope again and again as they “hear” His Words and then respond.

I begin to change in my actions, in my words and I marvel that fear, anger, unforgiving all leave me. They leave slowly but each time I walk away from a struggle I begin to not go back to it as often and soon not at all. I have more patience, more tolerance for other people. God gave to me first. I absorbed His love and then I began to live the love I have received.

I still have moments when I am rejected that I hurt deeply. These days talking to Father God though tends to help me move out of hurt and I am able to get up and move through life. Knowing that God the Father loves me and is always beside me gives me a confidence I had never known before.

I know each part of God these days. Sometimes I get that He is one and sometimes I tend to see 3 different individual parts of the one God. As I realize that I am a wife, a mother and a grandmother I tend to wrap my brain around God's three in one personality. I want Him to be 3 separate beings and I know He is not. Still I relate to three individual beings.

Lately I begin to absorb all three being one. This feels good. I sense I am walking deeper in my faith and that feels comforting. As I keep looking at my 3 in one person hood I begin to see God's three in one aspect as well. At present I am still praying to each God Head. It helps me in my faith journey to seek each part of God. I know though that He is One and I am comforted again and again.

I treat my grandchildren one way. I relate to Junior another way. As my children have grown into adults I find myself relating to them on another level. This points me back to God and His different aspects within Himself. I get it again.

As I absorb this lesson I know that God will teach me more lessons. I am older and I am still learning. I marvel and am grateful at the same time. Just because I am now a senior citizen no longer means that I am used up. I continue to find a purpose and a reason to enter into each and every day. As the hard times come I know that the other side of that will come as well. I know that I will seek God more and more. I learn to rely on Father God in the good times and the bad times.

Where is your focus?

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine on you.

Love

Janet