February 6 2014

February 6 2014
Greetings My Friend,
I got home last night after an overnight visit to the ER. On Sunday I had
chest pain that would not go away so I thought it best to go get it checked
out. I was admitted to the hospital. Several EKG's and a stress test later I
found out that I did not have heart problems.
It appears that I do have stomach issues that was causing the pain in my chest. So I
will have this checked out as well. I attemtpted to keep my hope in God and tried to
allow the process to take shape as it will.
That is one of my prayers lately, "Your will, Lord" and then I ask "Give me the courage and
strength to handle what is coming my way." I know on my own I'd like to be a big baby. As I
kept having needles stuck into me I wanted to be a baby for sure. I have little veins so the
process is trying at times. It took three attempts to find a vein for the IV.
I know if I chatter during the process I won't be a big baby. I tell the person that is working
on me that my chatter is more for me and please excuse my constant babbling. They tend to giggle
at my comment. If it is rather painful I may say "cuss words" not using real ones but that phrase. In
that I am letting them know it hurts real bad. They begin to offer soothing words and we both get
through the moment.
The staff was real nice with me. They were patient as I was woke up and tired to figure out what they
needed from me. The people out here are so nice. I rarely get a cranky person. It amazes me to no end.
Their gentle words and ways speaks volumes to my heart.
My sleep was not good that night. First the pain kept me awake and sometimes as the pain subsided I would
find myself falling asleep. I finally got some medicine that quieted the pain down and then I was being woke
up for lab work and such. Later in the day I had a stress test done. I found myself falling asleep on and off
during the day.
When we got home I Went to bed and I slept all night. I slept 11 hours I was that tired. I woke up refreshed and
I was once again back to being "me." At this point I am working hard to stay warm. The temps have dropped to barely
in the single digits during the day so the heater is working overtime to keep the house at a decent temperature.We
have heaters helping the main heater. To add to this our water pipes are frozen, not the ones in the house but the
ones to the house. Junior is getting snow and melting it on the kerosene heater and the wood burner so we can wash
our hands, flush the toilet and such.
We have been drinking bottled water so that part is not too bad which gives us water to make coffee. All the fur children
are hanging out inside and only go outside for a bathroom visit. They snuggle on us to warm themselves up as well as warm
us up. It is precious.
At times like this I marvel at the spirit of "getting through the moment" I have. I marvel that I will survive so to speak
to tell the story in future years and I know again that I am a survivor. I am glad we aren't in MI as well because it is
even colder there than here. I also think all those "camping" experiences come into play as well.
Another thought comes to me. On FB I see a picture of a road cleared in Canada. The snow is several feet high at the side
of the road, more than out here and more than in MI. The thought that runs through my mind is "it is not greener" on the
other side of the road. It is different and many times what I am dealing with isn't as bad as what the next person is dealing
with.
I know my own struggles and I feel safe working through them. I often find myself gratefull that I am not struggling through the
next person's struggle. As I ponder this even more I find that we all have struggles in life. We all have moments of great
joy. To get through this life we will face a struggle or two. (even many more)
As I think on this some more it is when I get to the other side of a struggle that I look back and I marvel at what I was
able to walk through. For me I know I did not do it on my own but God has guided my steps. In my way of thinking God placed
camping on my heart years ago. As I learned how to cook over an open fire, to bring water for the week and such I begin
to see that those experiences have taught me how to deal with power outages and the like.
I also know that in short order the cold will lighten up and that life will be winter again. Spring will follow the winter and
summer will follow spring. Those moments are "hope" for me. I know that this will not last forever. During the warm season I
will soak up the warmth and enjoy it. I will also have moments during the warm weather. It may get extra hot for a few days. I
will find that hard to deal with. I will learn how to work through even this.
Now my thoughts turn to the end of life. In the end I will know that I lived life and lived it the best I could. I will know
moments I tried to do it on my own and failed. I will know moments where I trusted God to get me through the rough spots and
moments when God rejoiced right along side of me.
I have "hope" and that means I know that I know that the end will come and then I will be on another journey as I leave this
world. My "hope" is eternity with God. That is what often gets me through the harsh realities of life. That never ending journey
appeals to me. I sometimes wonder what will etertnity will be like and then I begin to trust that it will be wonderful
even if I don't know what is in store.
My heart breaks for the folks who do not accept the "hope" Jesus has brought us. Their eternity is not going to be so
wonderful. It will be painfull. I decide again to attempt to pass on the "hope" I have. I don't want to be over bearing
but I also don't want to be told "why didn't you tell me?"
Where is your hope? Do you believe in "life after death?" I do.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet