November 23 2013

November 23 2013 Greetings My Friend, The cold weather is coming and....it is ok. I am not dreading winter like I have for such a good portion of my adult years. The heat sources other than the heat pump are in order. We have a gas fireplace and a wood burner stove and I know we should be good to go. This week has been a week of running and I found myself wore out and not being able to move much. Today though I sense the energy level is back and I am so happy. I woke up and Junior was talking to my sister, she had called. I then got on the phone with her and found myself waking up. Later I noticed my cousin was on line and they are a 2 hr. difference in time zone than I am so it is hard to hook up and we hooked up. I did more waking up with her and I learned more how to use Hoot Suite and ran a couple ideas on my postings by her. She helps me to think through my writing and the audience and how to attempt to relate. It helps me to have her input. My new computer is in the shop now, the mouse isn't working so we took it to Best Buy. It will come in the mail back to me when it is finished which means we don't need to make another trip for it two hours from us. That is a wonderful feeling. I needed to have some blood work done so when we got closer to home we decided to stay overnight at a hotel in town. Blood work is rough since if I don't eat fairly soon after I get up I can get a nasty headache. This way I did not need to travel 40 minutes to town for blood work. I got it and was able to eat a whole lot sooner. We stayed in a hotel with a pool. I want to do water aerobics and there is no in door place around here so the stay at the hotel was good for my exercise routine. I don't remember all the exercises I did in MI so I began making up a series of exercises of my own. I was able to work out every muscle group. I keep finding a way to put a pool or hot tub in cheaply on our property and have it inside with heat so I can work out year round. I found an inflatable hot tub system that may be able to let me get the size I need for exercises. I continue to bring these ideas to Junior's attention and there is a piece of me that hopes I can have it after our bills are under control and in better shape. We will see. I am also walking on the elliptical more now that it is cooler more days than not. I am proud because my time is increasing which means I am getting more of a work out. That too feels good. I have always loved to exercise and I am once again working diligently on my routines. I have yet to start Yoga for the balance routines, it will come in time I guess. Yoga scared me for a bit because I did not want to invite other belief systems into my thinking. As I entered into a faith journey and did Yoga I found myself changing those moments that did not feel right to prayer time with God. I also quit for a long time altogether and with my balance issues I feel that this may help me and keep me from falling so much. We will see. With all the running this past week I find I can still wear out and not move. As I have so many more days with energy I find that the day I need to re-group not to be so scary. I know that I will be up and moving after I give myself a rest. It is what it is. I find myself again going to bed thanking God as I begin my prayer time. I find at times during the day I am saying "thank you" to God as well. To be on the other side of depression and confusion is awesome at this point. One by one my problems have been solved and I am looking to many good years of service for God. I like that feeling. My Sister and I are once again talking like friends. The edge that was there is leaving and hopefully we can get back to that friendship again. We will be together for Thanks Giving this year. This year there will be a big crowd of family present and that is exciting to me. I keep sensing when I have learned a lesson that God has wanted me to learn and the joy I feel. For many years Junior and I have celebrated many holidays by ourselves. In those years I found that I was focusing more on Jesus, the gift I have been given and letting go of the need to be surrounded by family. I found being alone with Junior to grow sweeter with each passing holiday and soon it did not matter either way if we were around a crowd or not. It seems as I have accepted those alone times I am now coming back into times with more people. I am good with that. As I learn this lesson I see other lesson's as well. For instance I marvel at my "writing career. First God brought a friend into my life to help me find a writing style. Then a news letter for our church group came along. Even as I have begun writing "Letters From Janet" I find that my writing continues to grow. It feels nice. As my cousin has entered into my life she has come beside me with helpful ideas. She encourages me and she is teaching more computer stuff to get my writing out more. I again believe God has taken me step by step through this process and as I have gotten to another point in writing I feel God has opened up another avenue for me to get my writing out to different people. My prayer these days is "Father help me not to get prideful." I want so bad to be famous. I want to be Joyce Meyers or Billy Graham. I want attention like no tomorrow. As I continue to give God my struggle and ask for help I find that my goal is not to be famous these days. It is to point the way to Jesus. If I can help one other person meet Jesus I am happy and if I only have 200 followers or more I am reaching out for God and that is nice. That is good. Nope I don't need to be famous. I still ask for help because I don't think it would be hard to drift back the other way. I see over and over where God has taught me. I see step by step where I was and where I am and then I know some where inside of me that I won't be who I am now. It amazes me. I like "me" these days and I accept my quirky ways. I am who I am in the Lord. Outside the Lord I was a miserable person. I could never find peace. I thought I was worth nothing and meant little or nothing to most people. I was always trying to impress people and the more I tried to impress them the less impressed they were with me. Then comes the day in the Lord that I accept "me" right where I am at and as I feel God's love and direction I find myself going in directions I had never dreamed possible. God is the rock I hold onto these days. I don't want to stray to far from Him. As I continue to feel His love I find myself wanting to please God. As I strive to please God I find that I like "me" for the person I am in the Lord. I can live with my hyper ways. My hyper ways get so silly that I make people laugh often. The more I make people laugh the more I sense I bring a piece of Jesus to these people. I write my "story" in the hopes another person finds the "hope" I have. I help fold bulletins at church to hang out with women and in that I find they encourage me and I encourage them and life is sweet. I keep seeing that "church" is not a building full of people doing "good works" but a group of people coming together to help support each other and then we each leave the group and go into the world doing our own "thing" for the Lord. Some teach the Word, some serve others in many ways. It could a meal to a shut in or a card to a person who is hurting. It could be the antics of a hyper lady doing silly things getting a giggle or three. I start to see that the church building is a place where people come together and sometimes there is an out reach into the community. It is sometimes the people taking home a lesson and sharing their energy with someone else. The more I wrap my brain around I don't have to be involved only in "church" settings to be of service to God the more I see "ministry" in my own life. I like that a bunch. God has created us to reach out and to be in community. When I learn to be in community the way God designed community I find someone is comfortable in her own skin. Not a bad way to go if you ask me. May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you. Love Janet