August 21 2013

August 21, 2013 Greetings My Friend, It is the 4th of July today as I write. We went to town to see what the happenings were and for the most part the activities have been cancelled due to rain. So we picked up a few groceries and came on home. I put the sheets up on the line, the towels in the dryer, made a salad for lunch and conked out. I am trying to wake up and then I will make the bed and move through the day. J and B are here spending the holiday with us. They went to town in their car since they were hoping to spend the day and we were not. The rain has come down hard so the guys are suspending work for the time being. It is nap time for Junior and that works. B is in her room as we call it taking a nap. I love that my naps are not the norm anymore but every once in a while I do cave in and take a nap. The power is out so sewing is out of the question. The rain has stopped and I hear birds outside. I have been hanging the sheets on the line. Junior has strung up clothes line on the porch and frankly that is nice. I am thinking about starting to hang more of our clothes as they are washed. I will dry the towels in the dryer but not much else. I have the time and frankly the smell is awesome. If the rain stops long enough maybe we will go to town for the fireworks tonight. That should be fun. Junior and I have not done the fireworks routine a lot since we married. I think it may be fun out here, not a big production like in Detroit on the river but fun. It is fun these days as we travel about town. We know more people and will stop to say hello to them. It feels nice really. Out here people tend to love people even if they have strange ways. The church family has taken B in like she is one of the families. B can be a character and the community where she lives tends to push her away. She is smart and frankly I am not sure what it is that people don’t like. Our church family seems to like her. Again I marvel at God placing us in this community. We fall in love with the surroundings and our home fairly much on a daily basis and then I find the people taking us in and loving us and well it is amazing that God knew right where we needed to be. I soon forget that people in MI tended to think Junior was a character. They tended to tolerate me but that was it. Here we are truly liked and loved and it is precious. I find myself not missing MI much at all. I am sad but I truly would rather stay here these days. As I am accepted I find myself accepting those who are strange to me. There is the Agape love again. I truly believe when we can learn to move outside of ourselves and love people as God loves us then we will find an acceptance. When I look at my relationship with God that is the relationship style He uses with me. He takes me warts and all and loves me. I begin to want to change because I am accepted and wanted and loved and it is so awesome. I find myself following God’s laws more and more. It is my desire. My wants have changed and frankly making life all about Janet is not what it once was. I find that I want to love others the way God loves me. I find that God always has more than enough love to give me. When I begin to love as I am loved well it is awesome. As a young woman I loved to show my female parts. I loved to be angry just to be angry and now those traits are foreign to me. I at one point loved to gossip and nope not anymore. Now when I am struggling I may talk about people not to be a gossip but to try and wrap my brain around their ways. I start off by asking God to help me and He has been faithful and will. I am amazed when all of a sudden a person no longer bugs me. I start seeing them as a child of God and accept them. As the years have gone on I find myself changing. I want to please God more than anything. I don’t wear provocative clothes anymore, I don’t cave into anger and I don’t allow others to abuse me. I always see that in Jesus. He told people what he thought. It took me a long time to see that being a Christian did mean being a patsy for everybody. I was afraid that I would deny God for fear of being hurt. These days I don’t worry about denying God because frankly I often reflect on Jesus’ prayer in the Garden. He prayed “Take this cup of suffering from me, not my will but yours.” I see Jesus very distraught and not wanting to go through with the coming events of his execution. He is sweating drops of blood. He is anxious as he fusses with the disciples about praying for Him. Next I see Jesus being comforted by the angels. Then he goes from the Garden to the horror of His execution. About this point I find that if I am given a truly difficult task, God will give me the will power to see the task through. Then I reflect that God has walked me through divorce, angry children and even cancer. I realize that I truly am not alone and God will be with me in all of my trials. I find a great sense of comfort in that. I am also grateful that God doesn’t just take the trial away but will walk with me through the trial and then there is that moment on the other side where I find I am happy and even proud of what I was able to overcome. Again it is God not me. Yup life is sweet these days and I will enjoy the days I have left. May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet