Saturday, August 24, 2013

August 24 2013

August 24, 2013 Greetings My Friend, Today I sit out on the deck go inside and putz around. I need this day to be honest. Monday and Wednesday we ran to Johnson City and Kingsport TN. Tuesday we ran to Vansant and frankly a day of quiet sounds real good about now. My birth defect is about as bad as it will get. I am happy with that news. I will be unstable from now on and need a cane but that is about it. No surgery will fix my problem and frankly I am happy about that fact. Junior went for a prostrate checkup and we are waiting for those results. He has shown high on his blood test for years but we are in a new place so these doctors begin to learn Junior. Being a little over conscious is ok with me. Today as I do the porch sit routine all four cats are outside with me and it is awesome to have their quiet presence out here. All four cats are napping and they seem at peace. How cute. I am waiting for the sheets to dry on the line on the back porch. I have gone for my walk down to the end of the road and back. I am thinking about Yoga again and I hope to start that routine soon. I may even bring my mat outside and do it on the deck. I stop typing for a second and listen to the sounds around me. My being begins to melt and the tension of the last several days seems to disappear. I look around at the chestnut trees, the boxwood shrubs and I again soak in the quietness that is more my life these days. The other thing I love about the deck is that people can’t tell I am out here for the most part. It is hidden from view and I soak up the quiet. I look at the plants placed around the deck and enjoy their colorful beauty. Again I check out the sleeping cats. Yup once more I am enthralled with our new home. I marvel at the peace I feel these days. For most of my life I knew strife and when strife wasn’t happening I missed it. These days I love the quiet routines of life way more than strife. I love the quiet routines that fill my day in and day out. Yup life can be sweet. I always thought that was a lie. I also thought people lied to me when they got along with their mate. Nope couples can truly enjoy each other. I marvel as my days continue to fill with mundane things. I love hanging the sheets on the line so I can smell the fresh scent they have. I love cats sleeping on the deck while I sit in quietness. I love watching the dogs chase after some imagined thing as I sit up above them. I even love when I stop to listen to the quietness, birds chattering, the wind rustling through the trees and the like. I must admit for most of my life I never knew this peace. It is awesome. I love our busy days of running and our quiet at home days. Too much of either one is rough but each week we seem to balance the week out with both and I love it to no end. My sixtieth birthday is around the corner and for the first time in my life this decade change is not upsetting to me. I am old and “that is ok.” That in of itself is freeing. I need a cane and “that is ok.” People don’t like me “and that is ok.” Yup I have learned to accept life as it is instead of wishing it were more than it is. To be honest life in the mundane is truly nice. In fact I tend to look about 10 years younger than I am and for the first time I start to think that looking my age would help because people then would understand my being unable to do things. I love our country home in the middle of nowhere. I made it to this age and I marvel as well. I have survived Dad’s polio and his anger, Mom’s distance, a bad marriage and kids not so fond of me. Yup that is ok. “It is what it is.” God gives me so much that I don’t mourn like I used to. We have a very comfortable home, a beautiful piece of property, a great walk and to be honest life is sweet these days. Our pets are always happy to see us. I like that feeling a whole lot. We have friends who like us just the way we are and yup that is freeing. I feel like God is continuing to use me and that I am productive even if I am not active like I once was. I am able to come beside a young mother from time to time and I am able to give her some of the wisdom life has given me. I am my pets center of attention and yup that feels nice. Junior continues to enjoy me and that too feels awesome. My life is full and it feels complete. As the house moves closer to being finished I even imagine us living in a completed home and it excites me to no end. I also love that for the first time Junior and I have melded our home to reflect each of us. We have come to a compromise on cleanliness. As a messy I continue to find my husband a clean freak as well. He may be comfortable with stacks and piles but this man also vacuums the floor daily, mops the bedroom, bathroom and entry way weekly. He may tend to stack things but underneath that stack it is clean. He tends to wash the dishes throughout the day so over all, I find him a comfortable companion. I thank God again and again for my new life. I am married and love this man like no tomorrow. I love our new home and home state beyond words. My life is good and I am thankful. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet

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