May 13, 2013 Greetings My Friend, Today is Monday and it is going the way I’ve dreamt about my days for a while now. I woke up and did my morning routine online. Ate breakfast and went for a walk. Today Junior, J and the dogs all joined me on my walk which was a lot of fun. J was taking pictures for me so I now need to figure out how to post them on FB…….the walk is beautiful. I came home put some chicken in the oven for lunch…..cleaned the bathroom sink and sprayed the shower. Yup today is moving along like I’ve dreamt a day at home to be for years now. Some house work is getting done, some writing, and walking the neighborhood enjoying the beauty…..yup life is sweet. After a rest I hope to mop floors. I have my next project taking shape in my mind which makes me happy. I love to plan and then do the plan. I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I stick to the plan. I learned another hard lesson. Don’t get a milkshake at Pizza Plus after one in the afternoon. It was 3:00 before I got to sleep. I then only slept 6 hours so I don’t know if I will be nodding off but I am rolling with this as it goes along. Getting stuff done is like icing on the cake. J and Junior are busy on the carport under the new porch. I thought it was almost done…wrong again. They are putting stones along the pathway to keep dirt from sliding down. They have put cement in for a foundation and I’m sure there are a few other things that need to be done yet. I had thought that Junior was truly going to start in the kitchen…..he was cleaning up the yard and decided to put a carport in under the porch he built last fall. The man is so different than me and I sense his difference once more. I’d like to get worked up and fussy…..it won’t do any good. Junior works the Junior works. He can’t be anyone but himself so I can get myself worked up or I can accept him warts and all. Junior has also done a bit too much with the carport under the porch routine. He fussed at me the other day big time. I was befuddled and then he all of a sudden went to lay down. I at that point figured it out, the man was in pain big time. When he got up he was a lot friendlier. In my heart I believe Junior is trying to make this a special house just for me/us. When he finishes a project I find it amazing and just right for our lifestyle. Getting to the done part is a challenge for me so I continue to ask God to help me understand this foreign person I am married to. God has always softened my heart and I am grateful. In the end we love his work and it is just what we need so I can get worked up over his style of working or accept his strange to me ways. The more I accept his ways, the more we fall in love with each other. The less I fuss the harder he works even if it seems strange to me. So I try to involve myself in my own projects and slowly I see progress and I marvel and well life is sweet overall. Junior being patient with me also helps. I struggle to be what I once was. I struggle to figure out simple routines and Junior accepts this quirk in me. He could fuss at me and I’d feel bad but not be able to do things and we’d just feel rotten together or he says to himself this is where I am right now and we move on. The accepting this quirk of my nature right now makes me love him even more so. I’m struggling enough with “me” at this point I truly don’t need to be told by him about my deficiencies’. Again I am thankful for Junior. I am thankful that he accepts me when I can’t be what I’ve been. I am thankful that I can fall apart and he is not angry. I am thankful that he rejoices with me as I find my way back to the housekeeper I once was. As I deal with hands that shake, an unstable gate and a dullness of my brain I am grateful for Junior’s patience. He picks up the slack where I am lacking and when I can I come back where I can. I’ve decided that my older years mean that I learn to deal with a body that is not young anymore. I can’t do what I once did the way I used to do it. A several hour job now turns into several days and you know what? That is ok. As long as the work gets done it really does not matter how long it takes me to do it these days. Our house is more of a home these days and not a renovation nightmare. That helps me move out of confusion into planning and planning helps me to focus and do things. Confusion is not a strong point with me. You know what? That is ok. I love that phrase. It helps me accept the things that confuse me, frustrate me and I move out of despair so much easier. Junior allows me to be me, to fall down and to get up again and I find myself ever grateful for his gentleness and patience. The more he lets me be me, the more I strive to be a better housekeeper and not defend my right to be slower, duller these days. He knows I’m doing what I can when I can. So if he can accept me this way then I learn to live with his confusing style of work to me. Yup life is sweet…. God is great…..and I continue to grow in the Lord. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet