February 20, 2013 Greetings My Friend, We just got back from a run to town for lunch a hamburger, a trip to the dollar store for hand soap and a trip to the car wash. Running around with Junior and spending a day with him is about the best fun I know anymore. His unassuming ways are so much fun to me. We don’t argue, we laugh at the other ones jokes and an afternoon with him is about as fun as life gets for me. He got a little hard to be around when he ran out of Paxil and before he got some more. With Junior though I can easily figure out what is bothering him. I leave him alone and when he is feeling calmer, nicer we hook up again and enjoy each other. I have studied Junior and his ways and for the most part I know when to back off and leave him alone. I know he isn’t going scream or go crazy when I do something like drive our car into a ditch. He isn’t happy with me and I know it but I never get slugged, yelled at or stuff like that. I know to be quiet, to let Junior process his anger alone and he will forgive me and we move on. That is a wonderful thing with Junior, I can handle his anger. He does not scare me to pieces. He lets me know he is not pleased with me and we move on. I also can tell Junior to “stop” and he will. I don’t like hearing things and Junior is good enough to hear me when I say “stop.” I used to tell him to take “that” back and he did. Now I just tell him “stop.” Junior may not have changed his mind about what he thought about me but he will stop when I ask him to stop. Prior to Junior I had never seen a man who could keep his anger in check so this man is a marvel to me. Is my husband perfect? No he is not? I love being with him though. Junior has an opinion and does not mind sharing it. He does not care if your feelings may be hurt he still will tell people what he believes to be the truth. I sure wish he was not this way but again he treats me like I am special and I am willing to deal with his warts. Junior has been used to being the unlikable person from his childhood on and at this point in his life he isn’t concerned whether he is seen as a nice guy or not. His main goal is God. I find that precious and frankly I benefit from his love of God. Junior tries to treat me like he hears God telling him to treat me and for that I am so grateful. I’m not sure by the world’s standard Junior is considered handsome. In my eyes though he is and a lot of his looking handsome to me is the way I am treated. The longer I am with Junior the more handsome he gets in my eyes. We understand each other like we have never understood another mate in our lives. We laugh, we hang out at the house day in and day out. We run our errands and frankly I love this new boring life I’ve been handed. I love that we go months without an argument. I love that when Junior snaps at me I know to ask a question or two and then I know to leave him alone because he may be struggling with PTSD, pain etc. I also know that our fights won’t last long and that feels so good. For 40 some years I lived in drama. I am a dramatic woman from time to time. I can’t just tell the story flat out I add drama to most stories. It was all I knew and I lived it. It was hard adjusting to Junior’s very unassuming ways. Once I did though I have fallen in love with this life style. There is no way I could work again. I can’t. My health stinks frankly. I am grateful that I was able to retire and I can do life with the energy level I have these days. If I can’t keep the house spotless, Junior doesn’t mind. If I can’t cook, he will or we will go out and he isn’t upset. We enjoy each other’s company and frankly that feels wonderful. Junior accepts my warts and I am thankful. He may not be the most popular of guys and to me though he is awesome. He will defend me if I need defending. He will listen over and over until his eyes glaze over till I work out my issues in life. Junior’s pain level is such that sleeping in bed is out of the question. He sleeps in the recliner at night most nights now. I was in an up and down mode the other night and Junior was sleeping in the recliner. Our new cat was in front of the TV batting at the screen. I tried to see if I could wake Junior up so he could chuckle along with me. He did not wake up so I chuckled and watched TV. Junior is generally easy to wake up and not cranky. I also appreciate that. He will chat with me and then go right back to sleep. So I don’t feel bad when I want to share a moment here and there. It is not something I do all that often. Still on occasion I will see if he will wake up to share a moment with him. I believe God brought the two of us together. I believe by listening to God I was given a man to live with, to love and to share life. Our years are full of good and pleasant memories. Our fights have been few and far between. The longer we are together the less we fight, we’ve figured out those rough spots and don’t enter into them as often these days. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet