February 20, 2013 Greetings My Friend, One of the most comforting things I love about Jesus is that he loved the lost, the lonely and the hurting. One of the most comforting lessons I have is when Jesus is at the well asking for a drink of water from the woman. She tells Jesus she has been married 5 times and is living with a man. Jesus tells her He is the living water and she believes Him. She goes into town and tells people that He knew her without her telling Him. I find such warmth and comfort in Jesus accepting this very unacceptable type of person. When I focus on this woman and how unacceptable she was in her society I find that if she was a wanted child of God then God wants me too. Since my divorce I have felt so unwanted by my family. It has been the hardest thing for me to overcome. When I read this about the woman at the well I always find a seed of hope rising up in me. There have been the moments where God has held me so tenderly. Then I begin to see who is in my life now and again I see that I am a wanted woman. I am loved. I am looked up to at times which feels nice. My friends think I am smart and funny. The more I focus on the ones in my life that enjoy me the more I find I have courage and hope. The more courage and hope I have the more I am able to move out of the pain of not being wanted. For the longest time I felt to tell the Good News about Jesus meant a willingness to mention God in every sentence. I am finally getting that it is also the way I handle my life which often speaks louder than any words can. As I hurt and go to prayer God has shown me how He was using my aloofness for His advantage and making me look bad. As God has sent me to the porch to watch nature unfold in front of me I find the beauty that God created and quietness enter my heart. Then there are the times God has put someone in my path. I think back to the time we went to buy a crock pot and we stopped for an ice cream. We sat down on the bench and a woman sat next to us. She was unhappy in her marriage. Both Junior and I know that a divorce is not always the answer for unhappiness. We told her about a program at our church to help struggling marriages. We gave her an opportunity to save her marriage. In that program she had the possibility of meeting Jesus and finding peace within her life. After I retired Junior and I were setting on our front porch and a lady stopped to talk to us. She had interviewed at the group home next door. She talked and then asked for a ride home. We took her home and for a few months we helped her in small ways. We gave her rides, some old furniture and some food. We moved to VA shortly after so we’ve lost touch with her. Out here B has become such a good friend. She also has financial struggles. She watches our babies when we travel and we pay her. Her son often will help Junior and he pays the son. J can do some of the hard stuff Junior can’t so it works out real nice for us. My niece came to live with us for a year. She was such a bright spot in our lives, almost like a daughter to us since we never could have children together. We got to impart our faith to her and as she has settled into adult life she has continued on in faith. Her mother also had given her a love of Jesus but we were able to live our faith as well and she seemed to grow even more in it. Again I am learning that I don’t have to say “God and Jesus” in every sentence and it is more how I handle my life than the telling that will get the message across. It is my consistent reading the Bible and prayer life that I tend to find myself growing and then being able to “go out into the world.” Some days the “go out into the world” is having the ability to walk out my front door without the despair that would like to run havoc in my life. It is the smile on my face and the belief that I matter that speaks louder than words. I am truly learning that it is how I handle the day to day junk that happens more than words. I find such a relief in that to be honest. I never knew what “words” to say and now I am learning that my actions speak louder than words. It is being the wife Junior needs, the friend B needs and helping the poor whether it is donating or helping a person out directly. I don’t have a need to gossip. That one was hard to let go of. I don’t have a need to get even. I don’t have a need to use my fists when someone won’t listen to me. I’ve grown out of so many bad habits and frankly that feels wonderful. These days I find that God is helping me move past despair and into a day to day life of comfort. Some days I do real good and some days I need to start over .But in the long run though I am finding myself moving forward more than backward which feels awesome because I don’t feel the despair I have known for most of my life. I find I live with hope and that feels wonderful. My hope is Jesus Christ. What is your hope? May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet