November 28, 2012 Greetings My Friend, This year I got behind on reading the Bible big time. I found when in Michigan I wasn’t reading my Bible and I kept getting behind and then a day or so of running during the week and I found I wasn’t reading my Bible. It distressed me to no end and I kept not catching up. My Mentor taught me to go to Biblegateway.com and now I have a daily Scripture sent to my in box. Each morning I start my day at the computer. I wake up looking at FB, then I read my Bible Scripture then e-mails and the morning goes from there. It works and Junior is often playing solitaire till he wakes up and again it works. I am once more on track to read the Bible through in a year. I like that reading the whole Bible through. I find myself growing in the Lord and frankly it feels wonderful. Through the years I have read the Proverbs only. Those are so helpful as well and I found that with 31 Proverbs that I’d have one to read each day. They are short and a quick read. I found myself growing just reading the Proverbs. These days I’d prefer to read through each year. Junior read through the Bible early on in his faith journey and then he started reading a book ever so slowly trying to absorb the lessons. Since I struggle with ADHD I tend to need to do things that will hold my attention. Still reading the Bible has helped me grow and live at peace. For many years I read the Chronological Bible so that I just read the commandments and laws only one time because I’d find myself bogging down reading them. Now I will read them twice because that is how they are written in the Bible and I think I’ll be ok with that. I struggle so much with people who never ever read the Bible and then give me their thoughts on what God says. Excuse me but if you don’t read the Bible how can you know how God feels? Yes God puts His laws on our hearts but I believe to truly get to know God you need to read over and over His Word. In the consistent reading that is where I meet God and then begin to grow in Him. The hard question as I became a stronger believer was where is God when a baby is dumped in a dumpster and left for dead? Frankly as I continue to grow I find that God is crying when a person makes a choice to discard a baby in that manner. I felt God cried with me after I left my marriage of 24 years of abuse. I often felt God holding me when I felt so alone and unwanted. I heard a Minister one time say that the life on earth is redemptive time. It is time to learn to be as God created us to be, to care as God cares. Will we ever be a great as God? No, I don’t think so. I do like the thought of learning and growing as much as I am able though. I believe then when Jesus comes back and we start eternity that those who gave their hearts to the Lord will have a perfect life for ever and ever. As I look back on my faith journey I see where I have grown and I no longer live in anger each and every day. I like that part too. It seems that God doesn’t want me to compare myself to the next person as much as He wants me to see where I once was and where I am now. For me I marvel at the difference within me. For years anger ruled my emotions and that was the only one I knew. Through counseling, reading the Bible and prayer I now know what sad, mad, glad is all about. I have a heart to be tender. I like me with a tender heart. I used to get my feelings hurt so I don’t mean that either. I like that I care about other people from the bottom of my heart. I reach out as I feel God directing me. So I can’t give to every poor person I meet but I do find God directing me to help people, donating my unused items etc. I also give money freely. I know that God is in charge of my money and He will give me what I need to be able to donate money. It is weird but I love it. The fearful Janet of yesteryear is willing to let go of her money these days when prompted by God to do so. Somewhere deep inside of me I know God will give me what I need to live on. One of my daily thanks giving is that God provides food. I have hypoglycemia and need to eat every 4 hours or I get a nasty headache and will even vomit from time to time. So I have food at my disposal so I can eat every 4 hours. Amazing! Then on faith Junior and I moved to Virginia. Here God has given us scenery that is astounding. He has given us a home that is comfortable beyond any home I’ve ever lived in. It needs renovating but as it comes together I could have never dreamed all that we have. Sometimes we have to work at things to get what God is giving us. You know what? There is a satisfaction that settles deep inside of me when I am doing as I am instructed by God to do. We finally got a new car this week. We’ve been praying and this week we were able to get a new car. Our Explorer was upside down on the payments. We owed more than the car was worth. For a year we’ve been seeking a way out of this situation and this week God directed us to see a dealer and the dealer talked to us and made things happen for us. Prior to this dealer we would sit in a dealer’s office for hours and walk away with nothing. One day we prayed and felt God say go and we went and we have what we need. Our finances are slowly coming under order. I’ve been praying. I can’t pray and complain about Junior that isn’t right. I can pray though and ask God to help me be what Junior needs. I can pray and say “Lord, I’m scared and I find God directing Junior and our debt is going away. God helps me with my fear and that means I’m not nagging Junior but being the support he needs. Are you on a faith journey with God? Is it time. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet