December 1, 2012 Greetings My Friend, It is December again….where did the year go? Oh my. Anyway as we come to December my heart turns toward Christmas. I ponder the Christmas’ with my young children. I ponder Christmas with Junior now. When the children were little there was a lot of fighting in our home. I am sad when I look back on it but I can’t make it go away. For some reason the fighting grew worse with the holidays. I got to where I dreaded the holidays. In Junior’s previous life he and his wife struggled as well. She loved the holidays and she “over decorated” their home. It drove him crazy. So we came together and for us we did not enjoy a lot of “excitement” at home. We tend to go to church, find ourselves thankful and the day then moves along like most days. We’d go to our children’s homes and celebrate and then come home watch a movie. I don’t decorate much at all. I do like setting out a nativity set or two. I like to remember that our Savior came in flesh and blood and grew up. I marvel at this often. Silly me…when I was young I remember thinking God doesn’t really understand since He is in heaven. Did I consider Jesus? I don’t think so. Anyway I do now. I marvel that he came as we come into the world, a baby born of a woman. I marvel that Jesus had to be fed and diapered. I marvel that Jesus was hungry, angry and the whole human experience. As I pray through Jesus’ last hours on earth I find myself marveling. He lived life, He died a horrible death and the hope I have is that Jesus rose from the grave to walk amongst us for another 40 days and then the crowd watched Jesus ascend into heaven. This is why I believe why I don’t want to face life anymore without God directing my path. Christmas is a time for me to reflect that Jesus lived a “human” life. He understands the various emotions we go through in a deep way. His death alone makes me realize that Jesus truly knows what we deal with. If I look at the last hours I see that Jesus’ good friend betrayed Him. His friends ran off when trouble came. He faced horrible pain prior to being nailed to the cross. On the cross Jesus struggled to breath. He struggled for hours before he died. I find myself being real sad as I see what was done to Jesus. I find myself thinking that He died for my/our sins. I truly begin to see the ugliness of sin. I don’t stay in the despair though as I come to the resurrection I find hope inside of me. I find that I long to live in eternity with God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I find that I hear Jesus saying as he went to heaven, “Go forth and make disciples of every nation.” I believe it is my job to be willing to tell the Good News of Jesus. God has been growing me up to be able to take His Good News out to the world. At first I wanted to rescue other abused people. I talked when we were out in public as much as I could about my past in a silly way to see if I could reach out and touch a soul for Jesus. I also had felt the only way to minister was to be involved at church in serving and yes I can but serving can happen outside of church. That is the lesson I’ve been learning. These days I have health struggles. I am not able to be out and about like I used to be. I am in prayer many days now. I pray as I see needs on FB, as I hear of friend’s needs, as I see people injured when traveling and my list goes on and on. Junior and I have also been helping a special lady out for a few years now. Money is very tight and we find jobs for her or her son and we pay them. B has gone from being someone we watch out for to a very good friend. Yesterday Junior and I made a trip to Good Will to donate some old clothes and small appliances and the like. At the store we often donate money. We are trying to live as if Jesus is our Savior on a day to day basis some days we do real well and some days not so well. Junior has taught me to pray for each need as well. We’ve prayed for a year about getting our Explorer and truck turned in. This week we finally were able to sell them and get a new car. Our car payment is the same as both payments but now there is only one insurance payment and we have an electric car so our gas usage should go way down. Junior and I try to pray through everything we can and live as we feel directed by God. For me, I have a peace I never had. Sometimes the road is hard but for some reason knowing I’m not alone makes a world of difference. I started my deep faith walk when I got divorced. I was so low and God has taken me from the ashes so to speak and has given me a hope that I’ve never known before. So I want to continue on with a life of faith. To me it makes the most sense. It is the Christmas season and I try to reflect often on the gift we were given in a tiny bundle of newness and hope. I also take my thoughts to the ultimate end of Jesus’ life and realize even more so the gift of the cross. These days I can rarely look at Christmas without looking at Easter. They are one and the same to me. Won’t you consider the real Jesus and not the commercial Christmas? May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet