December 5, 2012 Greetings My Friend, Thoughts at large, We went to one of the activities found out here a Pioneer Days event. It was not huge with so many people milling around you can hardly move but large enough to have a few tables of food, items for sale etc. It was fun. The food was good. We also saw people from the community we know mainly from church. That is fun. We’ve been around long enough to be part of the community now and frankly that is a wonderful feeling. We met C and M and their tiny dog…. That was fun. We saw G at a booth selling things and then S was at a food booth oh and A was at a booth selling books….it is so much fun when you know some of the people and can stop and chat with them. My mind seems to be going off in different thought patterns today. While journaling I note that it is the little things in life that touch the soul. On FB I wrote about eating a warm muffin and drinking a cup of coffee and how nice it was. I did get a “like” to my comment. I ponder again the little things in life are what truly move us. We bought a new car this week. We enjoy it and feel we will be ahead financially due to it being an electric car. It rides nice. We save money on gas. As nice as that all is it was the muffin and coffee that warmed me way down deep inside. I loved the taste in my mouth, the warmth of the coffee on a cool morning. I loved floating around reading FB, journaling and the whole moment was awesome. The car…it feels good to work our way out of debt, it rides nice, it will be easy to handle….still it was the muffin and coffee that really made my life feel good. Giving has been rolling around in my mind as I read 2Corithians. That has been an awesome lesson in life for me. As a young mother money was tight so I started giving of my time. I loved being a youth advisor. I loved reaching out to teens. I loved them accepting me into their lives. The teen boys began to teach me that not all men need to strike out in anger. I learned that the boys were sensitive as well. As my marriage ended and I began dating I began to seek out men who were gentle and I loved it. I no longer had to face life with a fist in the face whenever life was difficult for the man. I’ve been married to Junior now for 14 years….he has never hit me. He uses his deep voice from time to time to let me know I’ve crossed the line and I then stop, go to another room for a bit and we don’t hurt each other and I have learned to say things like “take that back” when my feelings have been trampled on. Junior then takes back his remark and we are friends. These days we don’t enter into those moments where we are trampling on the other’s feeling nearly as often as we once did. As I married Junior he said that he gives 10 percent and then I said I donate my time and we have done both throughout the years. I find life to be sweet if I don’t hold onto my money, my time like I won’t have any more to give. I find a deep peace when I give and life to be sweeter. I am also learning that I am not required to give to every single need. I can’t. I try to listen to God and give when I am prompted. Again I feel peace. As I read my Bible I see Jesus did not heal every person that needed healing. I see Jesus got angry and now I am not afraid of my anger when it tends to arise. I do take my anger to God and He will direct me. That is such a peaceful moment. Junior will anger me from time to time. I talk to God and God will guide me or even open my eyes to show me Junior’s heart and frankly I fall in love with Junior over and over again. The more I allow God to guide me I find myself being comfortable in my own skin. I do have to admit that I needed medication to help me move out of depression. I believe God gave people the knowledge to make that medication so I can function. I love seeing a home instead of renovation junk everywhere. The house is picked up these days, the floors moped and the day is moving along nicely for me. Junior continues to finish projects and with each finished project I find joy and peace. I drove our car into a ditch on our property. I’d like to talk to myself and beat myself up. Junior was angry but gentle in his anger. I felt safe telling him. He fussed a little bit and then we moved on. I have learned another lesson, no distractions when I am driving, turning on the radio…..concentrate…..so it is a hard lesson but I get the point now. Thankfully I did not hit another car or got injured. I learned and now I move on. I find life to be about learning lessons even in my older years. I feel that if I am still learning then I am able to grow in the Lord and frankly that feels wonderful. Again I see God’s patience with me and that too feels ever so wonderful. Are you allowing God to grow you? May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet