December 8, 2012 Greetings My Friend, It is a quiet rainy morning so far. I am finding a peace with the rain gently falling outside. I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday so some quiet time feels good right now. Later I will go see a counselor my once a month visit. I have been at my computer since I woke up. That has been my routine in retirement. A while ago I was able to receive a daily reading of the Bible on the computer so that is now part of the routine in the morning. I love it. I wake up by looking at FB and then I go over and read my Bible Scripture for that day and sometimes I journal on what I am learning, hearing. I then go to a journal page and write all the thoughts floating around in my head. It is a way for me to review what I need to and then leave it there. Sometimes I then write a blog like I am doing now. It works and frankly it feels wonderful. Gone are the days where I get up rush the kids off to school and then to work. I can’t do that anymore. Sunday Junior got me up late and I could not get myself functioning to leave on time. I stayed home. Gone are the days where I roll out of bed and hit the floor running. I can’t do that anymore. If I force myself too much I will end up vomiting or plain worn out. So I try to leave myself plenty of wake time to wake up when we have morning errands and such. I need at least an hour to sit at my computer and wake up. As I continue to get older my body reminds me that indeed it is not as young as it used to be. Housework…I remember the days where I could tackle huge projects in a few hours and today I need a few days to do the big projects. Being retired allows me to work more slowly and move more slowly. I am baking muffins again and I love that. I am looking for a bread maker and I think I will like that. Since I am not sure I am hoping to pick one up at a yard sale or thrift store. That way if I am not a bread maker well I won’t have spent a small fortune. I long for the kitchen to be complete and it probably won’t be for some time. It is what it is. Still we have it fairly cleaned up….counters set up kind of and well it works. I make soup often and that is one of my favorites. Now muffins are part of my mornings and sometimes a snack to munch on so again it works. I haven’t started making my low carb chocolate candy yet….it is going to happen soon I believe. I am also going to start doing my crafts….crochet dishrags and cross stitch. I’ve started reading magazines again and I love that. These days the TV doesn’t come on till after 4:00 which makes me very happy. Having a recliner in the entry way is real nice…no TV there and I fill my day doing small things then I get up and do some sort of housework….this new habit is working and frankly I enjoy it. We tend to run a day or two during the week which works nicely. I have time where I am out and about and time at home. We generally will take a walk in the mornings. We are going to the end of the road more and more which is a good half hour there and back. I feel like the walks will help my bone situation to be stronger. I have always been a walker and love my walks out here even more so. Junior works at things most of the day. He stops for breaks often at the computer or in the recliner near where I am. Those little breaks are nice. We chat. We plan and enjoy each other’s company. I generally will call Junior in when I have made lunch and we eat together. By leaving Junior alone while he works I am giving him the space he needs. Frankly I like alone time as well and then I like couple time. We run errands together, chat throughout the day so we connect as well. I also see my writing time as my part time job. I love writing and since working is out of the question at least for now this seems to give me a sense of purpose. I don’t make any money but for some reason I’m good with that. We have a good income so money is not an issue. Junior is working our way out of debt and that makes me real happy. Another health issue will be taken care of next week. For some time now I have been swallowing food or liquids and I can’t get the food/liquid down. It stays there and I struggle before it comes back up. I am going to have a scope put down my throat and somehow it will stretch things out so food should go down easier. Again I sense some of my struggles are coming to an end and frankly that feels good. This doctor has been spot on with her remedies. In a few more weeks I will have a test done to see why I am stumbling and I hope there will be an answer. I believe praying has helped me. When I feel panicky I get a sense of calm. As we go along the doctor sends me for a test etc. and slowly I am finding answers and ways to deal with my struggles. I also am learning over and over that my body is getting older and thus it is not able to do what it once did. I continue to pray and I find that God is holding me and frankly I don’t feel so alone or scared or angry. Do you trust God with your life? May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet