November 13, 2012 Greetings My Friend, My thoughts turn toward relationships today. I’ve been thinking hard on relationships so I guess I should explore this thought. I realize that in order for us to be in relationship that means we need to be in consistent communication with another. That makes a lot of sense to me. I also think we need to be fairly honest. Mom though and Dad were married 39 years and Mom lived in denial and Dad accepted Mom’s denial. That said Dad often talked to me about Mom because he wasn’t sure where she stood in their relationship. Dad was miffed why Mom would not do the married woman thing with him. Dad was miffed why Mom was constantly on the run. I got to listen to Dad sort out his feelings. In my relationships I have tried to talk. As a woman I drive the men in my life crazy because I want to talk out everything. Junior often lets me know that I talk way more than he can absorb. He is good and lets me talk but I also wear the guy out at times. As a woman I tend to think through words it is how I deal with the world. I think women need a lot of friends so we can sort life out and not wear one person out. When life is troubling to me I tend to call several people and talk out the struggle so as not to wear them out while I try to figure out how to deal with the situation. Once I wrap my mind around the struggle I tend to talk less and start doing. It is the way I operate. Junior is fairly good at letting me talk. He also has times that when I start talking he shuts down and listens with a partial ear. He is doing that not to be mean but to save himself because the words overwhelm him big time. As I go along in my faith journey I find that I take all my chatter to God. I often tell God I am hurting and I need to work past the hurt. God is faithful and He begins to help me sort things out. My relationship with God is also about keeping the lines of communication going. So of course I keep talking till I “hear” what I need to “hear.” Sometimes I struggle with personality struggles and I ask God to open my heart to that person. Sometimes I need to ask God should I? Or shouldn’t I? God will often open my eyes to the things He wants me to do for my own good. We felt we were to move and we kept praying until we moved and after we moved and frankly I feel that we were to move. I sense we did what God wanted by the comfort I have at where we live. As we settled I felt God say it was time to let go and move on in some relationships. I wasn’t going to move forward with these relationships in Michigan so God said time to go and we went. Some people feel that I made that up and you know what, that is their right. For me though I feel I did what God wanted me to do and the comfort I have means I heard and did what God wanted. Sometimes our faith journey is foreign to others and frankly my goal is to live for God, not man. Do I do this all the time, No! Still it is my goal to listen to God and then to do what I hear Him tell me to do. When I do I find that God has always told me what was best for me. Being in a daily conversation with God helps me to hear Him. It also helps me to read the Bible because I begin to be able to know God and God’s ways. I learn when Satan is trying to trick me and I learn to hear God. God never has me do anything against His Word. That is one of the ways I know if something is from God. God had Abraham move. I was told to move. After much prayer we tested God’s command out and each time we found a peace so we moved. I love it here like I’ve never loved a home in my life. That comfort tells me that I am where God wants me to be. Was each day easy? No, not really. I’ve dealt with depression, low blood pressure, appendix problems….and family giving up on me. It hurt a lot at times. God also held me so tenderly and kept directing me to the people, places and things He wanted me to deal with. As I did I found a love that was so deep and wide and awesome. For a good portion of my life I believed God was real but never drew close to Him. Since my divorce I have sought God almost daily. I seek to “hear” God and to be honest I am living in a peace I have never known. I asked God if I should marry Junior, God said “go” and I married Junior. He has become my best friend. There are times I have to ask God to open my heart to this wonderful man. He can drive me crazy at times. It isn’t about getting what I want but about learning to be the woman Junior needs and when I do I find that my needs are met on a deeper level. At this point I am not concerned with what people perceive as much as I am concerned that I am doing what I hear God tell me. When I do listen to God and do what I hear I find that life is sweet even as I struggle through depression, appendix problems, low blood pressure problems or whatever. God always shows me the next step and all of a sudden, I find that I have strength, a willingness to deal with whatever struggle I am going through. Prayer and Bible study help a lot. A Christian community helps as well. How is your faith journey going? May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet