November 17, 2012 Greetings My Friend, Sometimes when I hear a nominal or a non-Christian state “Judge not least ye shall be judged” I want to scream. People act like we are to NEVER judge and frankly that is wrong. Today I was reading in First Corinthians about people coming to the Lord’s Table and being a glutton. Some had not eaten prior to the meal and were over eating and even drinking too much wine and getting drunk. That is disrespectful to God and to the cross. For me communion is a deep reflective time to reflect on the gift we were given and the price Jesus paid to redeem me/us. In my own way I have communion just about daily as I say my prayers and reflect on the cross and all that Jesus went through. As I walk through each stage of his last hours I begin to see how ugly sin is, how awful it is and even the little sins as I call them are an affront to God. By the time I get to the resurrection I find hope swelling up inside of me and I find I am ever grateful for this gift. Of late with a better sleeping habit I find I do this part of my prayers as I fall asleep and often finish when I wake up. Later I go to prayer in a comfy chair and do the other parts I’ve come to do in the ACTSS prayer format. I’ve learned to pray when I am on FB as well. As I see what different people are dealing with I find myself offering a prayer. As my grandchild may be having a struggle and stating it on FB I often offer up a prayer for her as well. I am learning how to take more and more to God throughout the day. It is a joy beyond belief. I may not be able to help people physically but I sure can offer up a prayer and that makes me happy to be able to do something. When we are out and driving I’ve learned to offer up a prayer when I see an accident. So I am learning how to pray unceasingly. Some days I do better than other days. When I am able to let go of my own struggles and intercede for another a peace settles within me. Again Agape love has been a wonderful thing to learn. I truly love seeking another person’s highest good. I hate telling people “no” and when I change my attitude to seeking the highest good, I find the no’s not to be so hard to give now a days. The more I teach myself to look at the cross, the more I find myself desiring to walk very close to God and doing what I am sensing God is telling me to do. These days I don’t live in fear of failing God like I did at one time. I keep being reminded that God will give me what I need as I face the struggles in life. As Jesus went to the cross He prayed “Take this cup from me, not my will but your will.” In that I find a huge sense of peace. If Jesus needed help in facing the cross and God sent angels and then Jesus went to the cross I find I too will be able to face whatever God hands me. I learn that God truly understands and will give me what I need when I need it. That is such a huge comfort to me. As I find my way out of the fog of depression and loneliness I also find that God is and has been giving me what I need to face life. We felt led to move to Virginia. Here I find people who love me just the way I am. As a woman that never felt like I could be what I was created to be, this is a huge comfort. I am accepted for the silly girl that I can be and people don’t get all offended. As we continue to make this run down house a home I am amazed as well. Again God has met my/our needs in every way. It will take time to get it all done but this house is so comfortable. I have never in my life been as comfortable as I am in this house. As we adopt another pet I am amazed at the love these animals give me. Each one speaks to me in a special way. Right now Alex my 17 year old cat is next to me as I type on the computer. He has been by my side through all kinds of trials and he is a huge comfort. As I continue to walk through my health issues I find a peace is in me. I believe I will come back in many ways and in other ways I will have to more than likely walk with a cane for the rest of my life and you know what? That is ok. I am now sleeping most nights and when I am up and down it is not like it was a few years ago all night most nights. So again God gives me what I need and that feels real nice. Then there are the struggles I have with some relationships. I don’t get why I am not liked. I really don’t. God says “that’s ok, I love you.” That always makes me feel real good and then I find the more love God gives me the more love I am able to give to others. I love the image of a well never running dry. That is how I see God’s love. I can’t give away too much love because God will always fill me up again. So I believe we need to make judgments all the time. For me I try to take my concerns to God and let God guide my steps and even my words. My daily goal is to live for Christ and when I do I find I can hear God and then do what I hear. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet