April 14, 2012 Greetings My Friend, As Junior and I thought about the next church we joined I felt a huge need to go to a church that celebrated communion at least once a month. Some churches do communion every week, some every month and some a few times a year. For me the act of communion was important. I tend to need to reflect on the gift of what Jesus brought me/us frequently. As a kid and young adult I had a love/hate affair with communion. The church I grew up in made communion a long process. First the tray with bread was passed through the aisles and then the wine (grape juice) was passed. It was a long solemn moment and my over active brain struggled to stay reverent and quiet throughout the process. As I started going to church with Junior I often marveled when we were in communion together. He prays throughout the whole process and I often wondered what he prayed about. My mind could not think of prayers that would last that long. I also had a tendency to look at the people around me and not focus well. A minister one time taught on communion and I learned to pray from his teaching. For me I started with my mind. I prayed that my thoughts, my eyes, my hands and my feet would be go in the right path. That revolutionized praying for me and communion became so important in my faith journey. I was learning to bring my whole body into worship and into service to the Lord. The last part of my prayer taught me to ask God to direct my steps into the service He had for me. I found my prayer lasting through the communion service and my heart being quieted and then a desire to walk out of that service and into life with a sense of loving, serving and being about God’s business instead of all my own selfish desires. Through the years I have also learned that in my own way I am having communion with God most days in my prayers. I do not eat the bread or drink the wine (grape juice) but I feel the communion moment as I pray through each stage of the cross. I start off with the last supper, I may not go into detail but realizing that the last supper was Jesus’ last meal with the disciples usually makes me realize the bittersweet moment that particular last meal was. Sometimes I focus on Jesus washing the disciple’s feet. I marvel at the servant attitude that Jesus had and then I strive to become more of a servant in my walk. Then I move into Jesus going into the garden to pray. He was sweating blood. I sense his anxiousness as I ponder his prayer, the blood he sweated. Jesus prayed, “Take this cup of suffering from me, not my will but your will.” At this point I sense that He did not want to go through with what was coming. This part of the prayer has given me courage when I had none. I have learned that our Lord was afraid and did not want to go through with what was coming up. As I prayed this I realized that I am terrified of physical pain and in the prayer I see the angels coming to help Jesus and I learn that God truly knows. When I lift up my fear and concern to God I learn that He knows, He hears and God will give me the courage to face whatever trials I may encounter. As my prayer moves forward I see Jesus being scourged (whipped) with bone and glass tied to the whip. I see Him being mocked. The mocking was brutal. Those soldiers were not gentle and by the time they were done our Savior’s face was swollen beyond recognition. Next they had him carry his cross which he was too weak to do and had someone else carry it for him. He was nailed to the cross, literally nailed to a piece of wood. I learned that the victims struggled to breathe and had to pull up to get air in their lungs and then would sag down till their lungs needed more air. Then they would pull up to get air again. At this point I see our Savior’s torn up back from the scourging rubbing against the wood and being torn up even more. He did this for hours before he finally died. My heart breaks. About this time I think on the phrase “truth is stranger than fiction.” I believe this was a real event that our Lord truly went through the awfulness of the cross. Up on the cross in all that pain our Lord then had compassion and I marvel at that compassion. He prayed for those who were crucifying him. He saw his mother and had her live with John his disciple and the thief confessed his wrongs and asked to be with Jesus and Jesus invited him to be with him in paradise. I see our Lord crying out “My God My God why have you forsaken me.” I feel great anguish in Jesus’ comment. He then dies. The soldier sticks his sword in Jesus’ side and blood and water spill out. Our Savior is dead. They take Him down from the cross and bury him in a tomb. Three days later our Lord and Savior rises from the dead and walks among the people for 40 days. At Jesus’ ascending into heaven I feel a rush of hope. This is the hope that helps me face life when life is rough. The older I get this hope is what makes me yearn for heaven. When I was younger I thought heaven would be boring. Now I find I long for “no more tears, no more sadness.” Life on earth is hard. There are great moments of joy for sure but the pain of life often is over whelming to me. The thought that a day is coming where there will be no more tears or sadness…..it moves me anymore. I am not going to die and be dead and nothing else. I am going to die and go to heaven….that moves me. My mission anymore is to try and give the news of the Gospel to those I meet. Heaven, Jesus both give me hope and I find life bearable when I know that I am not going to die and that is it. There is something beyond the grave. What is your hope? Where it your hope? Have you considered the gift of a Savior who would literally die for you? May God bless you and keep you, make his face shine upon you. Love Janet