November 5, 2011 Greetings My Friend, Sometimes life is hard. The pain of life can overwhelm even the toughest of people. For me I have found that Jesus helps me face those moments that I can’t seem to handle. He comforts me, gives me strength when I’d rather give up. Since I have begun my faith journey I have had many rough moments and each time I find Jesus is there holding my hand and guiding me. All of a sudden I find that the struggle is behind me and I marvel that I endured another trial. One of the things that comfort me is that I don’t feel all alone. Much of what goes on in my life I wind up feeling alone, like no one cares. Jesus though He gives me strength to face the day and then I often feel hugged and loved in profound ways. I am willing to face the challenges of life because someone is willing to step beside me. Junior often will help me. Sometimes he doesn’t get my struggle. He tries but he flat out doesn’t get it. His words are a comfort at times and at times they don’t give me what I seek. That’s when Jesus helps me the most. Sometimes the question is “Why Lord?” It seems unfair, not right etc. that this trial is on us. As I have learned God allows struggles in our lives. These struggles generally help us to be stronger in our walk with Him and to me anyway I marvel that I truly can do things I didn’t think I’d ever be able to do. Somewhere along the way I have learned that these struggles prepare us for heaven and the work we will do there. I’m not sure if this is right. It does comfort me though. When I went to work at the bank I was overwhelmed by the amount of work I had to do. It required that I think a lot too. I had to have the work that came across my desk done at the end of the day. It required learning how to prioritize and even how to tell Loan Officers “no.” If I was going to balance out at the end of the day then I had to have the work done. We had to stay until everyone was balanced out and people got upset if you held the group up day after day. As I learned my job I found I liked the rush that went through my system each day. I liked all the thinking my brain had to do. For me it was a good fit. At first I was scared but as I grew into the job I enjoyed what I did. That is the way I see my faith journey. God gives me work to do and sometimes I feel afraid like I won’t be able to. As I do it though I find I am more than capable and even have a sense of accomplishment. As I write my niece’s step son who is severely autistic set himself on fire. Her husband’s hand is burnt pretty badly as well. I feel for them as they go through the surgeries and the healing. This seems like a rough road and it is. They struggle with this son’s outbursts of anger. They struggle to reach inside of him to let him know they love him. It seems unfair that now they have to deal with 40 -50% of his body being burnt. I am in constant prayer for the family as they go through this horrible trial. First of all I believe God is crying alongside of them. I felt God’s tears as I struggled when I came out of my abuse. God does not want us to hurt like that. This is a fallen world though and awful things happen. So God allows life to happen in this fallen sinful state. In my faith journey though that is when I sense God the most. He steps beside me and begins to show me how to deal with life. As I overcome the struggle and get to the other side I find myself in awe of what I was able to do. I am often grateful for the struggle because without it I would have never known that I could do what I did. People see me as needy. I guess I am. I think I’m being grown up and all and I appear to be needy. The needy Janet has walked away from abuse. I learned to say “stop, I don’t like that.” I am able to go to the store by myself and enjoy shopping. I am able to pay bills and have even bought my own car. I can clean, cook etc. I am able to do a lot. I make friends and hang with them. When Junior and I were first married it took me a while to be at a party and not leave his side. As I got to know the people, I went off in my own direction at the party often hooking up with Junior throughout the party. So I have grown. God has shown me that people care and are interested in me. He shows me that He will send me people who care and don’t mind helping me along life’s path. My niece set up a FB page for her step-son. People are writing their well wishes. B reads these and is finding encouragement to face her days. I am trying to ask for prayers at night before everyone goes to bed. It is my way of loving this family. So God allowed this to happen and He allows the encouragement to reach this family in their hour of need. People have also started to donate to the burn unit. When someone close goes through a tragedy people often want to donate to an organization that help people overcome. Who are you reaching out to? Do you know someone who could use a kind word or deed? Is it time? May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet