March 14, 2017

Greetings My Friend, "How long will you love vain words and seek after lies? But the Lord has set apart the godly for himself." Okay I woke up when I read that passage in Psalms. Sometimes I find a theme as I read the OT, Psalms and the NT. Today I found the theme mostly in the Psalms and the NT. A few words later I read "Be angry and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your own beds, and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and put your trust in the Lord." I have chased all the wild dreams of the flesh seeking for....at this point I am not sure what I was seeking other than maybe to be seen, heard and liked. Then there was the wakening of my heart wanting and desiring so much more from life, the world was not giving me what I truly thought I wanted. It seems that a lot of thinking or pondering goes on in the night on your bed so I was surprised to see the Psalmist stating to ponder on your bed. The silent part is hard for me anyway, my mind has a constant round of chatter going on. My mind feels like the noise of the world, the TV going, traffic outside, and even the equipment we use in the house like vacuum cleaners and the washing machine. Noise is all around us so being quiet is difficult. Since moving to the country away from the urban Detroit area I have found that quiet. Walking down our country road cars come by here and there, the sounds of the birds singing fill the air and the sights of deer and rabbits fill my mind with a gentle quiet that is soothing. A few times God sent me to the porch when anxiety was consuming me the peace felt so good. In the quiet I settled the anxious thoughts I could feel God's whisper on my heart. Because of this exercise I am able to hear God's whisper's more often these days. Next I read in the NT the book of John, "So the Pharisees said to one another, "You see that you are gaining nothing. Look, the world has gone after him." I am seeing how Jesus is not what the world wants to consume them. The Pharisees were upset that the Jewish people were seeking the Savior Scriptures talks about. Yesterday I learned that the Pharisees wanted to keep things the way they have always been because they liked their authority with the Jewish people. Again I see that in today's reading and I "hear" my heart choosing Jesus along with the Jewish people of Jesus' day. I hear God saying to me "How long will you love vain words and seek after lies?" I have been on a journey of learning to live the simple life and this simple life teaches me that the world is not impressed with it at all. In fact the world sees the simple life as boring, not intelectualy stimulating etc. God teaches me that He is not expecting me to serve Him in a wild and frantic pace but in an in depth way. I like this way more and more and I strive to maintain this quieter pace, well I also am made to slow down because I can no longer run the pace I once did. I sense that God has allowed me to have Parkinson's Disease and Chronic Fatigue so that I will slow down to hear His whispers on my heart and to share the things I am learning. When I look at my broken body these days I am not upset like I was. The search for what was going on with me has ended and now I know what it is. I know the source and now I learn to live with it, to make the best of my life with God's guidance. I am grateful for the country life God has sent me to and since my abilities are limited along with my energy level I am choosing to be active within our home. I have taken on the joy of cooking simple meals from scratch, soup, bread and putting up food for the winter. I am relearning how to sew once more making quilts, skirts and even a few nightgowns. My people socializing is saved for church and trips to the store mostly grocery shopping and Lowe's for renovating on the home. I am able to reach out to people in my community and on the internet to minister to and I love this life so much more than when I was a wife, mother, working outside and inside the home, going to college and volunteering. I was tired, believed many lies and so unhappy. Give me Jesus that is where my heart is today, I am happy and content. May God bless you and keep make His face shine on you. Love Janet