October 1, 2011

Greetings My Friend,

I’m thinking about “the little things in life” today. The older I get the more I realize it is the little things that I treasure the most. Little things like a walk down the country road, the gentle kiss from my husband or even a child. I love the pets snuggling on me. I love to feel the warmth of their bodies, to feel their fur or when they kiss me. I love to drive along and see the beauty all around me. I see it even more here in the mountains, the greenness of summer, and the smell of honeysuckles or the sound of a bird singing. The tiny little hummingbird is a marvel to behold.

For the longest time I felt that if I lived in the right neighborhood, had the prettiest house, drove the coolest car and had jewelry that sparkled that I would find contentment. I believed that a job wasn’t good enough, I needed an awesome career. As life went on for me I found that I never had the attention, admiration etc. I craved. Things did not bring me contentment. People weren’t impressed like I wanted them to be.

I believe we need to work and work is good for us. The teacher in Ecclesiae’s found this to be true. He felt life was meaningless. As he explored life though he found we need to work and we need to enjoy our work. It is good for us.

The Teacher had lots of money and could buy what he wanted. He found though that life was meaningless. Stuff did not satisfy the deep longings inside of him. I find that to be true as well. Stuff just doesn’t make the deep part of me content. Sometimes I see stuff as a ball and chain around me to be honest. As we have moved two times in two years the stuff we moved became a mountain of work. Stuff was just that stuff.

We had people who thought we should have gotten rid of everything and started over. That didn’t make sense either. We’d have to buy a new couch, bed, chairs, table etc. We had those things so why would we get rid of them to buy them again? Still we needed to get rid of a lot of other things…things we didn’t need. We weren’t sure where we’d end up so we kept things that we are now getting rid of. We are in the house we hope to be in for the rest of our lives. We are getting rid of a lot of stuff. We know what we need now.

My parents were borderline hoarders. I had an Aunt who was a major hoarder. To me I don’t want to be owned by my stuff, I want to own my stuff. I keep learning that I need to own things and not let things own me. I need to be willing to walk away if need be. It is a wonderful lesson and a hard one at the same time.

As I see that stuff can consume my life I learn again how it is the little things that really bring me joy. I love when I can have a phone chat with a friend. I do that a couple of days a week with different people. I love when I can connect heart to heart with people. To me that is about the best there is in life, that heart to heart interaction.

I was at the hair dressers recently. My hair dresser wasn’t in and another lady did my hair. Both ladies are going through a divorce. I’ve been divorced, it hurts beyond words. To me divorce is like a death. The dreams the couple started with have now died. As I talked with this lady I was able to enter into her pain, to offer her hope. The hope I have is Jesus. Until Jesus entered into my life…I had wishing. I wished things would get better. I wished I didn’t hurt. With my relationship with Jesus, I have found hope, true hope.

Hope is what gets me out of bed each day. Hope helps me enter into the day, into life. Before hope I was in constant pain and finding relief was non-existent. As I open my heart to Jesus, I find ways to cope with the pain of life. I find joy and I find purpose. I have a desire to love even if love hurts. Before I met true hope I tried to keep a barrier up so that I wouldn’t be hurt. At this point in my life I find great joy in meeting people where they are at even if it will hurt for a bit. I know that Jesus will help me through and the thought of another person finding relief…it is all worth it.

Recently on FB I entered into a conversation with a woman going through nightmares. Her nightmares are from the abuse she suffered with her husband. Those memories are kept in her life because she has to keep going to court. I shared with her my experiences and how I’ve worked through those moments. I was able to reach out to her and hold her. Afterward I found myself shaking. My memories were front and center again. I went to Bible study time and prayer time in pain. Afterward, I was back in the present living and doing life.

I am willing to take a risk now. I will let the pain back if it means I can help. I want to love as I have been loved by God. God holds me when no one else can. He wipes my tears. He sends people as well. Junior is always beside me. My friends have and do hold me. God put each one in my path. To me life is sweet now. It isn’t the nice ride, the fancy house or the bank account that makes life sweet. Life is sweet because I know that I know that God loves me and wants me. I’m not a mistake.

Where is your hope? Is it stuff? Is it Jesus?

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet