August 6, 2011

Greetings My Friend,

Lately I seem to be thinking about the truth's I find in the Bible and how they apply to life today. At this point I am thinking of God bringing Israel out of Egypt out of the bonds of slavery. The Israelites went to Egypt when there was a drought in the land and food became very scarce. They stayed in Egypt 400 years. After Pharaoh died and the people forgot the Israelites became slaves to the Egyptians. Moses with God's guidance brought the people out of Egypt.

The people came out with the clothes on their backs, the jewelry the Egyptians gave them because of all the plagues they wanted the Israelite’s to leave. They wandered around in the desert when the Egyptians thought about letting the Israelite’s go they went after the Israelites.

Right off the people had to trust God. They were backed into the Red Sea without a way out. God opened up the sea and the Isralite's crossed on dry ground. They were afraid but God provided a way out.

As the Isralite's traveled around the desert for 40 years it was God who provided for them. They learned to trust God. That is what I've been thinking about lately. They had to learn to trust God and that life wasn't handed to them on a silver platter. They had to work for their freedom. God provided manna for them to eat. The Isralite's had to go out each morning and take only what their family could eat that day. They had to pick up the manna. They had to trust for the next day's provision.

They had to trust God to lead them out of Egypt. They had to trust God to lead them to the promised land and then they had to go and do. They trusted God for the food and then they had to go get the food. Even when they got to the promised land the Isralite's had to fight the inhabitants of the land. If they trusted in God and did as God told them, they would win the battle's. If they tried to do it on their own...they failed.

So many time's I hear a wealth and prosperity Gospel. If I think on this it doesn't make sense. God doesn't give to us just to give us a lot of presents. The gifts He gives are usually things that will help us live our lives. It is more spiritual and more about changing our attitudes than about possesions.

Abraham was rich, Issac and Jacob too. I don't think God minds us having possesions but He does mind if that is all we strive for. As Samuel was finding the right son of Jesse's to annoint as King God said that He doesn't look at outward appearances but at the heart. That to me is a huge statement. That is the one thing I work hard at is having the right heart.

As I was coming into my faith journey that became important to me, having the right heart. As I have said many times I would be one way at home and another in public. I'd tell people what they wanted to hear even if I didn't agree. I wanted to be agreeable for the sake of being agreeable. The more I gave God my heart, the more important it became for me to be straight with myself and with God.

Mom....was a smoker. She had a bout of bronchitis and at some point was told that she had emphysema. She told everyone that she gave up smoking. The problem was she kept on smoking only she became a smoker in secret. For me, I knew she was smoking. As a non-smoker, she smelled of smoke real bad. It was awful. I remember going to her house and as I got to the front door, I could smell smoke.

That game playing drove me nuts. Many in the family found it amusing...me, I hated playing her game. She was hurting herself more than anything. I remember one time when she was admitted into the hospital. The nurses were asking about her inhaler's. She said she had asthma. She refused to tell them that the inhalers were for her emhpysema. She was very put out with me when I told the nurse that she had emphysema. I felt that the doctor's could not help her if she wasn't up front about her disease.

I find that with God I need to be upfront and honest. If I am not...I may miss some lesson I need to learn. I may miss a blessing as well. I find that God knows every thought, everything I do so hiding from God is really useless. When I am upfont with God though I find myself growning and learning and loving and moving along in life in awesome ways.

Some of my "close the door" friends seem to shut out the past in some way. For me it seems sometimes God has me review scenes from the past. These scenes often help me grow in my faith and help me not to enter into unhealthy relationships again. As I struggled through depression recently I found myself reviewing those days of abuse. It hurt to review them. It hurt a lot. At some point God seemed to point out some valuable lessons though. He taught me that no matter how hard I try to get along, to please, some people won't like what I do. He taught me to keep seeking Him first.

I remember saying "I'm sorry" a whole lot at one point in my life. The "I'm sorry's" didn't work though. Sometimes I said them just to move out of the painfullness of the moment. They weren't honest "I'm sorry's". I was trying to get along, to get out of the hurt of the moment. I feel God was telling me that sometimes no matter what you do people still will have attitudes. Again I felt God was teaching me something important.

The lesson of the wilderness seems to continue to play out in my thoughts. I need to trust that God will be there. When all life looks hopeless I need to realize God will arrive exactly on time. I don't think God minds when I cry to Him. I think He wants me to actually. As I spent an afternoon praying recently because of the painfullness I felt, I felt God holding me and talking to me. As I felt Him talking to me, I felt myself moving out of despair and into hope.

As I have stated one of the wilderness moments I've been struggling through is my children not wanting to be in my life. As I left my former marriage I felt God come beside me and help me live through the days of divorce. As I learned to ask God to be God in my life I found myself moving along. I did have great pain and I felt God hold me, dust me off and send me back into life again. This is how I've gone 12 years without much interaction with my daughter and it is how I face the anger of abuse.

As I end I'd like to ask if you have invited Jesus to be Lord in your life? I ask this often. Do you know how? First it is important to confess your sins. Then it is important to ask Jesus to be the Savior in your heart. For me the sinner's prayer that I prayed as a radio preacher prayed it was helpful. Then I told Junior I had accepted Jesus as my Savior. It is important to confess, to ask Jesus to be Lord in your life then to tell someone. In doing this you cement your walk in the Lord.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet